100 books like The Status Seekers

It’s hilarious and cringey at the same time to read this honest look at status anxiety. It’s hilarious to watch others seek status. As for yourself, you hopefully relieve your cringing because you see how status has obsessed people throughout history. 

The author says we seek the love of the world as well as the love of a partner. The quest can ruin an otherwise good life, so he offers solutions. I love his explanation of the original “Bohemians.” They were the hipsters of the 19th century! They created those impressionist paintings we love because they were aching for status.

The author is a famous British philosopher who inherited a fortune. He sees that money does not relieve status anxiety. But he misses the real reason: because we’ve inherited the brain of status-seeking animals (as explained in all of my books). 

He sums it up in one brilliant sentence: 

“Envy is the only one of the 7 deadly sins that isn’t fun.”

The author is a great observer of the snobbery that surrounds you in daily life, from fashion snobs to intellectual snobs. He’s a “snobographer,” according to one reviewer.

This book invites you to laugh at the snobs, not to change your thinking. Pointing fingers feels good in the short run, but my books show that it hurts you in the long run. We all have the one-upping impulse because we’re all mammals. If you hate people who do this, you end up hating yourself. You may insist that you don’t care about status, but moral superiority is just more one-upping.

So enjoy with caution.

Bourgeois Bohemians sneer at expensive cars, but they spend much more renovating their bathrooms. They are eager to make a statement against consumerism, but they are also eager to let you know how successful they are. I grew up around this thinking, so I love to hear the forbidden thoughts expressed publicly.

Brooks explains the inner conflict of bobos. They feel guilty about their success, so they call attention to their solidarity with the common man. They want to keep achieving, but don’t want to appear that way.

Brooks misses the deeper engine of this inner conflict: all mammals seek status in their herd or pack or troop because it promotes “reproductive success.” Natural selection built a brain that rewards you with serotonin when you raise your status.

A thick science book on envy is just what we need to help us release this feeling. The author looks at “Man the Envier” in an anthropological way. He shows how diverse cultures have struggled to manage this natural impulse, even using “black magic.” That may sound crazy, but my Italian ancestors did this. They believed that suffering is caused by malocchio—the evil eye from a person who envies you.

I like this book because it shows how humans create envy inside themselves. You may not want to see inside yourself. It’s easier to dream that the perfect society that will relieve your envy. But you make yourself powerless when you do that because you can’t control society. You are better off building your power over your emotions, as my books explain.

My Big Welcome illustrates how kindness can help children overcome anxiety when they’re starting at a new school, moving, meeting new people. The story introduces a number of classroom situations that a newcomer might face. Emilia, the new girl, is welcomed with warmth and kindness. And the bright illustrations give off such a positive vibe.

There may be other young adult books written about high school seniors who have no idea what they want to do when they grow up, but there aren’t many. That is one aspect I love about this book. There are many high schoolers, and adults, who have no idea what career they want. It’s important for them to know that is normal, especially in this high-pressure world. One of the two main characters, Lewis Holbrook, is that kid. He’s also a great friend, hiding a crush, and learning to be adventurous. I love books that show it’s okay to not have your life planned. I fear for the kids who are under so much pressure, and any book to help them gets a recommendation from me.

Love is a word that not many of us understand, but Buscaglia explains it so well. When people use the word "love," they express their understanding of love at that moment. There is no universal definition of love. Sometimes teens don’t know if they love themselves because it is not tangible. This book helps them know that they are worthy of that love. Love changed my life when I was in high school. It helped me understand myself and influenced my life purpose: to be kind and in solidarity with people. When I work with teens, they often feel untethered by not having, and not knowing, their purpose. In my book, I teach how important a goal is to feel good about yourself, and setting one is much simpler than you think it is! It helps motivate them to get over their anxiety.

All kids deal with fears and all parents and caregivers want to shield them from them. But I learned as a mom that I couldn’t shield my kids from hurts. But I could help them develop their own shield—by teaching them how to confront their fears and equipping them with the tools they needed to deal with the inevitable stressors they would encounter in life. My older son, practical and scientific, would have loved this book! In this uplifting, rhyming story, Christina Furnival, a licensed mental health therapist and mom, presents a practical three-step lesson to help kids manage their worries, regain their cool, and strip fear of its power once and for all. I sure wish I had this book 30 years ago!

I must have listened to this on audiobook a hundred times in 2000 when I had to drive hundreds of miles a week up and down the UK for my job until I felt as if the author’s words and message were seared into my brain!

It’s written in an easy conversational style, with practical examples from the author’s experience, and every idea in it is simple and easy to use in your own life. This book helped me through a difficult time and made me realise for the first time that I actually wasn’t alone or in any way weird, and that most people struggle with their fears.

To this day, I still tell myself, “I’ll handle it!” when I’m faced with a difficult or scary task!

I enjoy being surprised by philosophical work on emotions. Kurth’s The Anxious Mind is full of unexpected insights into anxiety, an emotion that seems to have little to recommend it. But Kurth manages to persuade readers that we should actually be glad for the presence of anxiety in our lives. He explains how anxiety can enhance our performance and contribute to moral progress both individually and collectively.