Here are 100 books that It's Not You fans have personally recommended if you like
It's Not You.
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I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
This might seem like an odd choice if you’re searching for a book to cure your heartbreak—but hear me out.
I think sometimes we stay in relationships that aren’t a great fit for us entirely too long because we’re striving to have a picture-perfect life. Dr. Schafler doesn’t directly take on relationships, but she does teach you how to use your perfectionist tendencies for good, in ways that serve your life and your ambitions, instead of running your life or having you out here making terrible choices (like drunk dialing ol’dude…).
'The definitive guide for anyone who's ready to walk a crucial pathway: from the appearance of control, to the possession of a quiet power.' SUSAN CAIN
'This book will forever change the way you view perfectionism and yourself. An irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life.' DEEPAK CHOPRA
'Gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.' LORI GOTTLEIB
'Provocative... identifies the strategies and mindsets every high-achieving woman needs to quell her inner critic and embrace her true talents.' HOLLY WHITAKER
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I first learned about Logan Ury listening to the podcast This is Dating. While I was waiting on the second season to drop, I learned about Dr. Ury’s book.
I’m not trying to be ageist, but it was refreshing to hear dating advice from a professional that isn’t older and hasn’t been married for decades. Ury’s dating years being more recent meant she gets the landscape modern daters are struggling to find love in. Her perspective was instantly more relevant to me.
There were also several knowledge gems that she dropped throughout her book that I’d already learned the hard way, which gave me more confidence in giving the new-to-me information she presented a shot.
'A definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love' Esther Perel
A funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why has everyone found love except me?" You're not the only one. Great relationships don't just appear in our lives - they're the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions,…
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
A lot of people know Rachel Cargle because of her activism and her community building. But her life story shows how sometimes you have to let go of what you’ve been taught to want so you’re free to go after what you really want.
Rachel wasn’t satisfied being a well-loved, stay-at-home wife in a small Ohio town. But it was hard for her to exit her marriage because we’ve all been taught to find a good man and hang on tight. Rachel did manage to leave and step onto a radically different life path. She’s open in the book about fluidity around her sexuality and exploring non-monogamy.
What would life be like if we had the courage to say, 'I want something different'?
'Elegant, thoughtful, vulnerable, and inspiring' Elizabeth Gilbert
From a highly lauded modern voice in feminism and racial justice comes a deeply personal and insightful testament to the power of reimagining - the act of creating in our mind's eye that which does not but can and should exist
We all experience breaking points, those moments when we realise that something must change. For activist, philanthropist, and CEO Rachel E. Cargle, reimagining - relationships, work, education, rest, faith and power - saw her through some…
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I contributed an essay to this collection and there’s quite a few writers I admire in this book, as well.
It’s refreshing to see other people’s perspective on what can feel like an albatross around your neck. Some of the essays are humorous, others are more poignant, but they all work together to show that a single life can look and feel a bazillion different ways—yours will be what you make it.
A feminist anthology inspired by legendary Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, featuring twenty-four new essays on the triumphs and heartbreaks of modern singlehood from acclaimed and bestselling authors, including Kristen Arnett, Morgan Parker, Evette Dionne, and Melissa Febos.
Sixty years ago, Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl sent shockwaves through the United States, selling more than two million copies in three weeks. Helen's message was radical for its time: marriage wasn't essential for women to lead rich, fulfilling lives.
There’s never been a time I haven’t had a pen in my hand, crafting a good story. And as the YA literature movement grew, so did my love of it. There’s not a more “blooming” time of life when life and love and friendship can grow with such authenticity and excitement. And true to my Deep South roots, I write and gravitate to romance novels that capture the beauty of first love and Southern culture in tandem, from the slow, relaxed pace to the sometimes gritty culture to the never-meet-a-stranger, colorful personas. Where humidity is thick but the accents are thicker, that’s where you’ll find my Southern-fried heart!
Set in small-town Alabama, Sophie is working at the local florist while dreaming all the big city dreams but slowly falling for love interest, Andrew. I’m a sucker for slow-burn romances told in unconventional ways while enjoying a good Southern setting, and this book has it! Enemies-to-lovers over the course of a year’s events and with a heavy dose of family dynamics bubbling to the surface? Yes, please!
Beloved author Kasie West brings her signature witty banter and rom-com fun to a bold, fresh format. Think Four Weddings and a Funeral for YA.
One year. Nine events. Nine chances to . . . fall in love?Weddings. Funerals. Barbecues. New Year's Eve parties. Name the occasion, and Sophie Evans will be there. Well, she has to be there. Sophie works for the local florist, so she can be found at every big event in her small hometown, arranging bouquets and managing family dramas.Enter Andrew Hart. The son of the fancy new chef in town, Andrew is suddenly required to…
As a 34-year-old memoirist, one of the most frequent questions I get about my genre, delivered with both curiosity and disdain, is: “Why?” After all, why? What could I, the life experience and literary equivalent of a pollywog, have to share about my journey—or, gasp, what I’ve LEARNED? The fun thing is, as someone who once broke my parents’ computer by using dial-up internet to download Napster, I’m used to disappointing people. Even more fun: as a millennial memoirist, I don’t believe in writing books that will tell people what I’ve learned. I hope my writing shows, through both merit and content, that I have indeed learned something.
All hail the queen. Sally Rooney makes it look easy, with just the right amount of Irish, nothing-is-easy-you-insufferable-wanker on the side. This book has it all: awkward yet undeniably hot sexual tension! Arguments! Cool names! A house that is bigger than yours!
And within Rooney’s stupidly gorgeous prose, we find ourselves not only yelling “EXACTLY!” out loud, many times, to an empty room but answering the book’s central question: right here. As long as we have a good book, that beautiful world is right here.
Beautiful World, Where Are You is a new novel by Sally Rooney, the bestselling author of Normal People and Conversations with Friends.
Alice, a novelist, meets Felix, who works in a warehouse, and asks him if he’d like to travel to Rome with her. In Dublin, her best friend, Eileen, is getting over a break-up, and slips back into flirting with Simon, a man she has known since childhood.
Alice, Felix, Eileen, and Simon are still young—but life is catching up with them. They desire each other, they delude each other, they get…
I’m a science communicator turned fiction writer with a special interest in the impact of environmental crises on small towns and overlooked places. My short fiction has appeared in various journals, including The Fiddlehead, Nimrod, Barren, and Reckon Review. I’m currently writing a novel about hurricane chasers along the Gulf Coast.
This speculative dystopia about drought-ruined California is equal parts lyrical gut-punch and surrealist adventure story. Main characters Luz and Ray set up residence in an abandoned celebrity mansion, subsisting on whatever they can scavenge. Their precarious existence is upended when they cross paths with a toddler, and the trio sets off into the Dune Sea in search of a life that offers more than mere survival. A warning: this is not a cool breeze of a read. But if you’re curious about the psychic impact of prolonged heat, thirst, and desperation, Watkins offers a masterclass on the grimy reality of human resilience in a hostile world of our own making.
Haunting and beautifully written first novel by the award-winning author of Battleborn, set among a cult of survivors in a dystopian American desert
'A Mad Max world painted with a finer brush' Elle
'An unforgettable journey into a hauntingly imagined near-future' Ruth Ozeki
'Set in a drought-ravaged Southern California trolled by scavengers, Gold Fame Citrus burns with a dizzying, scorching genius' Vanity Fair
Desert sands have laid waste to the south-west of America. Las Vegas is buried. California - and anyone still there - is stranded. Any way out is severely restricted. But Luz and Ray are not leaving. They…
I grew up in a talkative family in an extroverted culture near NYC. I discovered I also liked the quiet and found a man to marry who was very introverted. After the “opposites attract” phase we needed to learn ways to make our differences work and we've been doing that for almost 50 years. I took this knowledge to the workplace where, as a career coach and learning and development professional, I became a champion for introverts. I've written 4 books on harnessing the talents of both introverts and extroverts at work and speak about this topic around the world. I believe we are all better off when we work through our differences to achieve magic.
I had a great deal of respect for this author from reading her Psychology Today columns. Sophia Dembling is an introvert and from her research and personal experience knows that relationships between different personality types can be challenging to say the least.
She takes us through all aspects of the dating process and doesn’t slam extroverts. What she does is show us, through her great wit and transparency, how we are not perfect but that we can balance each other.
Dembling teaches introverts “how to let someone into their hearts while honoring the solitude we need..” I found myself laughing many times, even while reading the table of contents. “Whee! Fun With Extroverts” and “I Love you But Please Don’t Call Me.” And she helps extroverted readers understand and empathize with introverts who don’t find joy in too much socializing.
From the author of The Introvert’s Way, a friendly and accessible guide to dating and relationships for introverts.
Love is tricky for everyone--and different personality types can face their own unique problems. Now the author of The Introvert’s Way offers a guide to romance that takes you through the frequently outgoing world of dating, courting, and relationships, helping you navigate issues that are particular to introverts, from making conversation at parties to the challenges of dating an extrovert.
I've been reading romance since I was a teenager; historical, modern, fantasy, you name it, I devoured it. Give me all the books with epic love stories, will they or won’t they, and happily ever afters. Although I didn’t tell anyone besides my mom about my writing for years, I can’t remember a time when I wasn't crafting my own love stories. In my books, I like to keep my readers guessing and challenge assumptions about people and what love can accomplish. The best romance stories include heartbreak and misunderstandings along the way, but that makes the endings that much sweeter. Happy Reading XO
This love story is hugely successful but on the off chance you haven’t met the Miles family yet, you’re going to want to go get this book now.
This story will hook you hard in the first chapter with the magic of fate and that feeling we’ve all had, when you meet a stranger and you’re insanely attracted to them, and then Kismet offers you time together. I loved how these two are from different worlds and have to maneuver a workplace, power struggle situation.
As an added bonus the hero’s brothers are introduced in book one, and they each get their own book.
I am an author, speaker, researcher, and thinking partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality, intercultural fluency, and relationships. I have over two decades of experience working with individuals, couples, companies, and governments across 40 countries. I truly believe that we can create world peace one relationship at a time, and embrace it as my mission. My third book in English, Love By Design, is the result of two-decade-long research on the status of thriving relationships and its key ingredients. These could be applied to relationships in all spaces, from bedrooms (most intimate) to the boardrooms (most public).
Dr. Alexandra Solomon's compassionate and insightful exploration of love and attachment offers a roadmap for individuals seeking to deepen their connections.
What sets this book apart is Solomon's emphasis on relational self-awareness and personal growth as foundational elements of healthy relationships. Through relatable anecdotes, personal stories, and practical exercises, she guides readers on a journey of self-discovery, empowering them to break free from old patterns and embrace vulnerability in love.
Loving Bravely is a valuable resource for anyone committed to building lasting, meaningful connections in their romantic relationships.
Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we've selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven't done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We've all heard "You can't love anyone unless you love yourself," but amid life's distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that?
In Brave, Deep, Intimate, psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon…
