100 books like How to Be Nice to Yourself

By Laura Silberstein-Tirch,

Here are 100 books that How to Be Nice to Yourself fans have personally recommended if you like How to Be Nice to Yourself. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing

Jennifer Kemp Author Of The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate

From my list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a clinical psychologist who was surprised to realize that I am both Autistic and an ADHDer in my late 40s. I have always been fascinated by psychology, and now Autism and ADHD have become my areas of “special interest” (“spin”). I have been reading widely to learn more about myself, find practical ways to alleviate the chronic sense of overwhelm I experience and recover from burnout. Most of my clients are also late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who have complex mental and physical health problems, so the reading I’ve been doing has given me fresh insights to share and helpful strategies we can test out together. 

Jennifer's book list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity

Jennifer Kemp Why did Jennifer love this book?

This tiny book taught me how to be more self-compassionate in some very practical ways. On the surface, this book is about housekeeping and chores, but it’s much more than that. When I read this book, I was in burnout, and “doom piles” of unfinished tasks were building up in my home.

KC reminded me that I could unhook from the unrealistic expectations I had of myself, see this mess as “morally neutral,” and understand that my home being messy did not mean I was a failure. She gave me practical strategies to show “kindness to future me,” and I still love how the book has a shortcut way of reading it, with all the key points highlighted, so I can jump back in at any time and find something useful.

By KC Davis,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked How to Keep House While Drowning as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

THE PERFECT CLEANING GUIDE FOR 2023

This is a book for anyone who is looking for an accessible and gentle way to care for their home - and themselves.

KC Davis, therapist and busy mother of two, will introduce you to six life-changing principles to revolutionise the way you approach domestic work, all without a single to-do list. Inside, you'll learn how to stagger tasks to avoid procrastination, soothe stress by setting priorities, set up your space to work for you... and tackle that ever-mounting laundry pile. With KC's help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again.

_________________________

What…


Book cover of Unmasking Autism: The Power of Embracing Our Hidden Neurodiversity

Jennifer Kemp Author Of The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate

From my list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a clinical psychologist who was surprised to realize that I am both Autistic and an ADHDer in my late 40s. I have always been fascinated by psychology, and now Autism and ADHD have become my areas of “special interest” (“spin”). I have been reading widely to learn more about myself, find practical ways to alleviate the chronic sense of overwhelm I experience and recover from burnout. Most of my clients are also late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who have complex mental and physical health problems, so the reading I’ve been doing has given me fresh insights to share and helpful strategies we can test out together. 

Jennifer's book list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity

Jennifer Kemp Why did Jennifer love this book?

Right after I was diagnosed Autistic, this book opened my eyes to what being Autistic really meant. It started to make sense to me: how I’d been suppressing my true needs, how I’d fallen into people-pleasing habits, how much social situations can wear me out, and how I’d had episodes of Autistic burnout across my life but never known why.

As I read, I began to recognize my true self and understand what I needed to feel comfortable and content. This was a pivotal book for me and launched me into my new neurodivergent identity.

By Devon Price,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Unmasking Autism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

OVER 250,000 COPIES SOLD AROUND THE WORLD

'Outstanding.'' -Fern Brady, author of Strong Female Character

'Reading this felt like being at home - I didn't realise how much I masked. What an incredible book that I know will be re-read many times over.' - Dr Camilla Pang, author of Explaining Humans

'A remarkable work that will stand at the forefront of the neurodiversity movement.' - Dr Barry M. Prizant, author of Uniquely Human

'A powerful argument for radical self-acceptance applicable to all readers.' - Los Angeles Times

'An essential roadmap for autistic people to be themselves.' - NPR

Have you,…


Book cover of Different, Not Less: A neurodivergent's guide to embracing your true self and finding your happily ever after

Jennifer Kemp Author Of The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate

From my list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a clinical psychologist who was surprised to realize that I am both Autistic and an ADHDer in my late 40s. I have always been fascinated by psychology, and now Autism and ADHD have become my areas of “special interest” (“spin”). I have been reading widely to learn more about myself, find practical ways to alleviate the chronic sense of overwhelm I experience and recover from burnout. Most of my clients are also late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who have complex mental and physical health problems, so the reading I’ve been doing has given me fresh insights to share and helpful strategies we can test out together. 

Jennifer's book list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity

Jennifer Kemp Why did Jennifer love this book?

I find Chloé Hayden inspirational, and when I read this book, it felt like she was talking to me. Chloé was diagnosed Autistic in her childhood and an ADHDer in adulthood. At the time, there wasn’t anything available for neurodivergent women that helped us discover and embrace who we are.

Chloé jumped online and started a YouTube channel, and she still creates videos that are just so incredibly authentic and joyful to watch. In her book I enjoy her practical, no-nonsense writing style, and how she wove good quality information with personal stories in a way that made this book a pleasure to read.

By Chloe Hayden,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Different, Not Less as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Growing up, Chlo Hayden felt like she'd crash-landed on an alien planet where nothing made sense. Eye contact? Small talk? And why are you people so touch-oriented? She moved between 10 schools in 8 years, struggling to become a person she believed society would accept, and was eventually diagnosed with autism and ADHD. When a life-changing group of allies showed her that different did not mean less, she learned to celebrate her true voice and find her happily ever after.

This is a moving, at times funny story of how it feels to be neurodivergent as well as a practical…


Book cover of Is This Autism?: A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else

Jennifer Kemp Author Of The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate

From my list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a clinical psychologist who was surprised to realize that I am both Autistic and an ADHDer in my late 40s. I have always been fascinated by psychology, and now Autism and ADHD have become my areas of “special interest” (“spin”). I have been reading widely to learn more about myself, find practical ways to alleviate the chronic sense of overwhelm I experience and recover from burnout. Most of my clients are also late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who have complex mental and physical health problems, so the reading I’ve been doing has given me fresh insights to share and helpful strategies we can test out together. 

Jennifer's book list on being proud of your neurodivergent identity

Jennifer Kemp Why did Jennifer love this book?

Like many late-diagnosed Autistic women, I don’t see myself reflected in diagnostic criteria that view Autism through a medical pathology lens and focus on identifying “deficits” and “abnormalities”. I find this way of talking about Autism deeply uncomfortable and othering.

By contrast, this book provides a practical and detailed guide to what Autism actually looks like, focusing on our valid differences and difficulties, using neutral, not stigmatizing, language. As a clinical psychologist working with Autistic adults, I appreciate how this book offers examples from people who mask (hide) their more obvious Autistic differences and uses personal stories to illustrate this.

I’m a passionate member of the neurodiversity-affirming movement, and this book makes an important contribution to destigmatizing Autism and improving the care Autistic people experience from health professionals.

By Donna Henderson, Sarah Wayland, Jamell White

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Is This Autism? as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Though our understanding of autism has greatly expanded, many autistic individuals are still missed or misdiagnosed. This highly accessible book clarifies many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits.

The authors take the reader step by step through the diagnostic criteria, incorporating the latest research as well as quotes from over 100 autistic contributors that bring that research to life. They also describe many aspects of autism that are not included in the current diagnostic criteria, such as autistic strengths and co-occurring disorders. Readers will learn about highly relevant topics, such as…


Book cover of The Sensory Home: An Inspiring Guide to Mindful Decorating

Joanna Thornhill Author Of My Bedroom Is an Office: & Other Interior Design Dilemmas

From my list on how our interiors can support our wellbeing.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a lifelong interiors obsessive, which I’ve managed to turn into a multi-stranded career: I style commercial photoshoots and set up events for brands, write about interiors trends for magazines and a trend forecasting agency, have authored several interiors books of my own, and recently I’ve begun teaching my own blend of authentic yet actionable interior design tips to others, through courses, workshops, and creative consultancy. I am always interested in the why behind what makes us feel a certain way when it comes to design, and believe that creating a home that reflects and supports our emotional needs will ultimately support us in all aspects of life.

Joanna's book list on how our interiors can support our wellbeing

Joanna Thornhill Why did Joanna love this book?

Pippa has artfully woven her visual expertise as a stylist and art director, with her research and understanding of the role that designing for the senses plays within our overall wellbeing. Inspired in part by the needs of her autistic daughter (and in turn, others on the neurodivergent spectrum who may have sensory differences and sensitivities), there are lots of brilliant ideas in this book for everyone wanting to learn about the role of colour, texture, and material when it comes to helping soothe our often-frazzled nervous systems.

By Pippa Jameson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Sensory Home as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Embrace mindful decorating and create a comfortable home that is kind to your senses and improves your wellbeing.

The Sensory Home will help you to understand whether your home is working for or against you. Layout, colour, texture, scent, lighting and more can be used to create a calming or stimulating environment according to your family's unique needs, including for neurodiverse individuals. This book offers hints and tips as well as long-term solutions to bring your vision of a warm, inviting and harmonious home to life. Chapters covering each room of the house include sensory checklists to help you identify…


Book cover of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive

Kate Truitt Author Of Healing In Your Hands: Self-Havening Practices to Harness Neuroplasticity, Heal Traumatic Stress, and Build Resilience

From my list on healing trauma and building resilience.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist, I have dedicated my life to understanding and healing the wounds of trauma and stress. My passion comes from witnessing the power of blending neuroscience with therapy in my personal and professional life. The resilience and healing I see daily inspire me. My work empowers individuals to reclaim their mental health and build resilient minds. This curated book list reflects my commitment to accessible, actionable tools for self-healing and growth. I believe mental health is a human right, though access to therapy is a privilege. These authors offer empowering, insightful works to put healing into everyone’s hands.

Kate's book list on healing trauma and building resilience

Kate Truitt Why did Kate love this book?

My last pick is a transformative resource for developing self-kindness and emotional resilience. I love this workbook because it has practical exercises and guided practices that foster self-compassion. Neff and Germer’s approach, which combines mindfulness with self-compassion, offers a powerful framework for personal growth.

Their warm and empathetic writing makes the journey towards self-compassion manageable and rewarding. This workbook has been a treasure trove of tools for building inner strength and finding peace within. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to cultivate a more compassionate relationship with themselves.

By Kristin Neff, Christopher Germer,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Are you kinder to others than you are to yourself? More than a thousand research studies show the benefits of being a supportive friend to yourself, especially in times of need. This science-based workbook offers a step-by-step approach to breaking free of harsh self-judgments and impossible standards in order to cultivate emotional well-being. In a convenient large-size format, the book is based on the authors' groundbreaking eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, which has helped tens of thousands of people worldwide. It is packed with guided meditations (with audio downloads); informal practices to do anytime, anywhere; exercises; and vivid stories of…


Book cover of Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive

Caverly Morgan Author Of The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together

From my list on inner and outer peace.

Why am I passionate about this?

The question “Who are you?” has been central to my practice over the last 30 years. This inquiry led me to live in a silent monastery for eight years. If we aren’t who we have been conditioned to see ourselves to be, then who are we? Who are we truly? This inquiry has led to happiness in my own life, it’s led to happiness in the lives of thousands of teens who have been served through the nonprofit I founded―Peace in Schools, and it’s led to happiness with the adults who have come to my workshops and retreats.  

Caverly's book list on inner and outer peace

Caverly Morgan Why did Caverly love this book?

I absolutely loved this book because it offers a powerful blend of tender self-acceptance and fierce, assertive action. I found it incredibly empowering, especially as a woman navigating a world that often undermines our power. The practical tools and mindfulness practices resonated deeply with me, helping me cultivate both inner strength and compassion.

I was particularly moved by Dr. Neff's personal stories, which made the concepts feel relatable and applicable to my own life. This book has truly changed how I view self-compassion—not just as a gentle, passive act but as a bold, transformative force that allows me to stand up for myself and others.

By Kristin Neff,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Fierce Self-Compassion as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A follow up from the bestselling Self-Compassion, this book shows why it is more urgent than ever that women acknowledge their areas of suffering, celebrate their inner voice and challenge the male-orientated status quo.

The book will draw on Kristin Neff's own life story as well as the stories of other women to show how readers can harness self-compassion and gain the strength, clarity and courage needed to be resilient and stand up for themselves in our male-dominated society.

She'll explore core issues such as gender differences, why we aren't more compassionate to ourselves, and what women do for love.…


Book cover of Other People's Houses

Nicola Moriarty Author Of You Need To Know

From my list on strong leads with mental illness or neurodiversity.

Why am I passionate about this?

Mental illness has been such a huge part of my life for so long now that it has become second nature for me to incorporate it into my work. After suffering postnatal depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, I’ve been on anti-depressants for 11 years and regularly see a wonderful psychologist. Recently, I added a psychiatrist into the mix who diagnosed me with ADHD, so now I’m learning to juggle ADHD meds alongside the antidepressants. I’ve always been passionate about talking and writing openly and honestly about my own personal experiences because if there is any chance that I can help someone else with my words, then I’m going to take it.

Nicola's book list on strong leads with mental illness or neurodiversity

Nicola Moriarty Why did Nicola love this book?

The thing I love about this book is that the reader is hooked from the start by a thrilling mystery as Kate starts investigating the secrets hidden within a seemingly perfect family; but at the same time, you’re also drawn into Kate’s struggles with her past. As you discover the unspeakable tragedy that Kate is attempting to shut out through alcoholism and by spending her weekends taking voyeuristic visits through open homes for sale – which she has no intention of buying; you slowly realise that you’re experiencing an unreliable view of the world, which means you start to doubt everything you read, in the same way that Kate is doubting everything she sees.

By Kelli Hawkins,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Other People's Houses as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'A dark, twisting tale of guilt and obsession which will leave you gasping' Petronella McGovern, author of Six Minutes

The stunningly tense, page-turning top 10 bestseller for all fans of The Woman in the Window and The Girl on the Train.


The perfect house. The perfect family. Too good to be true.

Kate Webb still grieves over the loss of her young son. Ten years on, she spends her weekends hungover, attending open houses on Sydney's wealthy north shore and imagining the lives of the people who live there.

Then Kate visits the Harding house - the perfect house with,…


Book cover of The Rosie Project

Ruth Leigh Author Of The Diary of Isabella M Smugge

From my list on books you read and re-read even though you know every word by heart.

Why am I passionate about this?

I learned to read at four and have been telling stories ever since. Books were my escape from unhappiness into a new and endless world. Left to myself, I’d read ten or so weekly, and my mind was packed with characters, dialogue, jokes, prose, and poetry like an over-brimming literary reservoir. Words are my thing, and I am an avid collector of them. I was reading David Copperfield at eight and specialised in 18th and 19th-century literature at university. I’ve written five books and am working on the sixth. I love writing humour but have also authored Jane Austen Fan Fiction and poetry. Without books, my world is nothing.

Ruth's book list on books you read and re-read even though you know every word by heart

Ruth Leigh Why did Ruth love this book?

To my knowledge, no one has written a main character like Don Tilman before. A tall, handsome genetics professor who’s never had a second date, he approaches his need for a wife with typical precision and the use of a complex spreadsheet. Don navigates the unfamiliar world of feelings and unplanned activities with his customary efficiency, but what is this strange new emotion he’s feeling?

I simply adore this book and often read it twice a year. It’s an absolute delight, funny, poignant, and so incredibly life-affirming. You’ll be cheering Don and Rosie on and hoping that everything works out for them. I do every time, and I know what happens!

By Graeme Simsion,

Why should I read it?

9 authors picked The Rosie Project as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The international bestselling romantic comedy “bursting with warmth, emotional depth, and…humor,” (Entertainment Weekly) featuring the oddly charming, socially challenged genetics professor, Don, as he seeks true love.

The art of love is never a science: Meet Don Tillman, a brilliant yet socially inept professor of genetics, who’s decided it’s time he found a wife. In the orderly, evidence-based manner with which Don approaches all things, he designs the Wife Project to find his perfect partner: a sixteen-page, scientifically valid survey to filter out the drinkers, the smokers, the late arrivers.

Rosie Jarman possesses all these qualities. Don easily disqualifies her…


Book cover of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

Alyssa Gonzalez Author Of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

From my list on neurodiversity and relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.

Alyssa's book list on neurodiversity and relationships

Alyssa Gonzalez Why did Alyssa love this book?

The Ethical Slut is an evocatively titled primer on polyamory as a relationship model.

It is intentionally written as an introductory resource that is very enthusiastic about the possibilities it presents, which is useful in a space that often feels it must make constant apologies for existing or is full of higher-level works about niche sub-topics.

It addresses key topics such as consent, communication, concerns about raising a family, and more. Older editions suffer from ill-considered language around transgender people that feels dated at best, but more recent editions have been updated to reflect changing demographics and be more considerate to this and other minorities. 

By Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Ethical Slut as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

At last a comprehensive, no-holds-barred guide for anyone who dreams of having all the sex and love and friendship they want. Here are the skills you need for successful - and ethical - sluthood, from scheduling dates to handling jealousy, finding partners to resolving conflict, raising children to caring for your health. If you've ever envisioned a universe beyond traditional lifetime monogamy, this is the book for you.


5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in neurodiversity, self-compassion, and acceptance and commitment therapy?

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