Fans pick 100 books like Choosing ME Before WE

By Christine Arylo,

Here are 100 books that Choosing ME Before WE fans have personally recommended if you like Choosing ME Before WE. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

Marcia Naomi Berger Author Of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

From my list on dating toward marriage.

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  

Marcia's book list on dating toward marriage

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did Marcia love this book?

I especially like this reader-friendly book because of its thoroughness, honesty, and wise advice. The authors are a married couple and social workers who draw from decades of experience counseling couples, leading workshops and seminars, and their marriage. I mention honesty because I'm impressed with the authors' openness, integrity, and conversational style.

Whether you're already married or hope to soon or someday, you'll probably benefit from how Linda and Charlie freely share knowledge gained from their successes and some embarrassing mistakes they've survived and corrected during their fifty-year, fulfilling marriage. Their commitment to growing as individuals and as a couple can be contagious, so check out this book and be prepared to stretch!

By Linda Bloom, Charlie Bloom,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What if you could learn important relationship lessons now, rather than after you make the mistakes that most couples make? You can, and this best-selling book will point the way!
Linda and Charlie Bloom were in their early 20's when they met and fell in love. At twenty five they married and their first-born came eighteen months later.

According to Charlie, "We were young and we made a lot of mistakes; enough to fill a book." Fast forward about twenty years.

Charlie's little sister Claire was about to get married and she invited him to read something inspirational at her…


Book cover of If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever

Marcia Naomi Berger Author Of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

From my list on dating toward marriage.

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  

Marcia's book list on dating toward marriage

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did Marcia love this book?

I like how author Susan Page gets to the heart of why terrific women who say they want marriage continue to stay single and what they can do about it. Hidden ambivalence is a powerful internal conflict. The author explains how unconscious marriage fears can prevent us from moving forward.

For a long time, I acted out my unconscious ambivalence by finding "warts" or shortcomings in men who wanted a serious relationship. So I can relate to hidden ambivalence as a reason many marriage-minded women stay single.

Susan Page gives many examples of ways people express their ambivalence. I agree with her that living together with no plan to marry is one example, and I admire this author for stating this now that this lifestyle has become so common. Awareness is the first step toward change. This book fosters self-awareness and empowers us to move past what's getting in our…

By Susan Page,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single? Relationship expert Susan Page asks - and answers - this puzzling question in her classic book. She helps singles sweep aside popular excuses for not finding a mate and helps identify the real reasons love may seem so hard to find. Using revealing anecdotes, case studies and quizzes, Susan reveals ten essential steps to help you define your own plan of action and change your approach to dating and love forever. Are you stuck with a dead-end lover? Learn how to say no to B.T.N (Better Than Nothing) relationships. Are you…


Book cover of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Marcia Naomi Berger Author Of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

From my list on dating toward marriage.

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  

Marcia's book list on dating toward marriage

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did Marcia love this book?

This book can help many communication-challenged couples. It offers specific guidance on how to talk about topics for partners to address to foster long-term happiness. Couples who are dating and not yet committed will learn if deal-breakers exist by having conversations about whether they want children, what fidelity means to them, whether they're likely to support each other's goals and dreams, and more.

I strongly agree with the authors' ideas about addressing conflict with the goal of understanding rather than winning, making your relationship your top priority to succeed in marriage, and having fun together.

Many happily married people implement the ideas naturally without following the Eight Dates formula. However, as a couples therapist, I know that many will benefit from having the kinds of conversations the authors prescribe. I'm recommending this book to couples in my practice.

By John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams , Rachel Carlton Abrams

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Eight Dates as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Happily Ever After is not by chance - it's By Choice.

John and Julie Gottman are cofounders of the Gottman Institute, bestselling authors, and award-winning researchers. Together, they have a deep understanding of what makes relationships work. Now, they bring that lifetime's worth of knowledge, research, and wisdom to bear in Eight Dates, a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. Eight Dates is written for any serious couple, and its dates are structured around the concepts of trust, dealing with conflict, sex and intimacy,…


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Book cover of Currently Away: How Two Disenchanted People Traveled the Great Loop for Nine Months and Returned to the Start, Energized and Optimistic

Currently Away By Bruce Tate,

The plan was insane. The trap seemed to snap shut on Bruce and Maggie Tate, an isolation forced on them by the pandemic and America's growing political factionalism. Something had to change.

Maggie's surprising answer: buy a boat, learn to pilot it, and embark on the Great Loop. With no…

Book cover of First Date Stories: Women’s Romantic and Ridiculous Midlife Adventures

Marcia Naomi Berger Author Of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

From my list on dating toward marriage.

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  

Marcia's book list on dating toward marriage

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did Marcia love this book?

I found this book engaging and fun to read. It's filled with well-written, informative stories of many women's first dates. Some of the dismal dates remind me of the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."

Sometimes my mouth would drop open in shock while reading about a miserable first date. Other stories had happy endings. Some couples continued dating and married. Others had successful first dates because the people liked each other but decided then, or after a few dates, that they weren't a good fit for a romantic relationship.

First Date Stories makes for a friendly, optimistic companion to women experiencing the ups and downs of dating. It reassures them that they are not alone, worthy, and likely to succeed in reaching their goal if they persevere. The implication is that every first date is successful because of the learning it…

By Jodi Klein,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked First Date Stories as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Ellen meets Jim at a posh restaurant, hoping for an evening of fine wine and better conversation. Maria sets out on a walk with a man she's been looking forward to meeting. In First Date Stories, these women, and others, enter into initial liaisons with well-honed expectations-and come out on the other side with extraordinary tales to tell.

Chances are, every woman in her mid-thirties and over who is seeking a loving companion has a first date tale of triumph or disaster. Each of the candid and memorable stories Jodi Klein shares here imparts a bit of wisdom-with the help…


Book cover of This Burns My Heart

Eugenia Kim Author Of The Kinship of Secrets

From my list on historical fiction set in Korea.

Why am I passionate about this?

Eugenia Kim’s debut novel, The Calligrapher’s Daughter, won the 2009 Borders Original Voices Award, was shortlisted for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize, and was a critic’s pick by the Washington Post. For that novel, which is set during the Japanese Colonial Period in Korea, 1910-1945, and for her second novel (below), whose first half is set during the Korean War, 1950-1953, she read more than 500 books and twice traveled to Korea in order to accurately depict these little-known slices of history.

Eugenia's book list on historical fiction set in Korea

Eugenia Kim Why did Eugenia love this book?

This book will capture you with a heroine who is both irresistible and flawed, and will engross you with increasing twists in a triangle of love and sacrifice. The story explores how a fateful choice colors a decade of marriage, and challenges a young woman’s ambition already constrained by traditional Korean culture. Sam Park paints all the flavors of post-war Korea in this vivid debut, and his understanding and expression of the human heart is universal.

By Samuel Park,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked This Burns My Heart as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Chamara is difficult to translate from Korean to English: To stand it, to bear it, to grit your teeth and not cry out? To hold on, to wait until the worst is over? Such is the burden Samuel Park's audacious, beautiful, and strong heroine, Soo-Ja Choi, faces in This Burns My Heart, an epic love story set in the intriguing landscape of postwar South Korea. On the eve of marriage to her weak, timid fiance, Soo-Ja falls in love with a young medical student. But out of duty to her family and her culture she turns him away, choosing instead…


Book cover of How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion, or Job

Roberta Chinsky Matuson Author Of Can We Talk?: Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work

From my list on maximizing your talent.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m one of the world’s leading experts on the maximization of talent, who is the author of six books on leadership and talent. I’m also a LinkedIn Top Voice in Leadership and Workplace, and one of the few people who was a guest on The O’Reilly Factor, with Bill O’Reilly, who left the show unscathed.

Roberta's book list on maximizing your talent

Roberta Chinsky Matuson Why did Roberta love this book?

This book is another top pick of mine. Helgesen and Goldsmith provide advice for leaders who are ready to move forward, but are confused by what is holding them back. The book breaks down the 12 habits that hold women back (and some men) and prevents them from taking their careers to new heights. I love their direct no nonsense approach and pragmatic suggestions. A must read for women who are ready to break through and achieve greatness.

By Sally Helgesen, Marshall Goldsmith,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How Women Rise as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

_________________________________
By the bestselling author of What Got You Here Won't Get You There

Do you hesitate about putting forward ideas? Are you reluctant to claim credit for your achievements? Do you find it difficult to get the support you need from your boss or the recognition you deserve from your colleagues?

If your answer to any of these is 'Yes', How Women Rise will help get you back on track. Inspiring and practical by turns, it identifies 12 common habits that can prove an obstacle to future success and tells you how to overcome them. In the process, it…


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Book cover of All They Need to Know

All They Need to Know By Eileen Goudge,

On the run from her abusive husband, Kyra Smith hits the road. Destination unknown. With a dog she rescued in tow, she lands in the peaceful California mountain town of Gold Creek and is immediately befriended by an openhearted group of women who call themselves the Tattooed Ladies. They’re there…

Book cover of There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job

Alison B. Hart Author Of The Work Wife

From my list on women’s ambition and battle for our souls at work.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ll tell you a secret. I’m obsessed with money—not fast cars, designer labels, and McMansions, but the accumulation of capital: who has it, how they got it, and what lengths they’re willing to go to to keep it. So I’ve always loved novels about work. They cut right to the heart of a character’s true motivations, revealing what they’ll fight for and who they’ll love. Don’t show me what a person looks like, show me how they earn (or don’t earn) their living, and I’ll remember them forever.

Alison's book list on women’s ambition and battle for our souls at work

Alison B. Hart Why did Alison love this book?

When I picked up Tsumura’s first novel to be translated into English, I’d just given notice at my hectic corporate job. So when the burned-out narrator tells her employment agency she’s looking for an easy job that’s “ideally, something along the lines of sitting all day in a chair,” I could relate.

She searches for that elusive work-life balance at a series of strange positions, but when she lands a plum gig working in a small hut in a forest, the story’s disparate strands weave together into an emotionally satisfying whole.

By Kikuko Tsumura,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"[A] 21st-century response to Herman Melville's 'Bartleby, the Scrivener.'"―NPR

"A revelation."―Time

A young woman walks into an employment agency and requests a job that has the following traits: it is close to her home, and it requires no reading, no writing, and ideally, very little thinking.

Her first gig--watching the hidden-camera feed of an author suspected of storing contraband goods--turns out to be inconvenient. (When can she go to the bathroom?) Her next gives way to the supernatural: announcing advertisements for shops that mysteriously disappear. As she moves from job to job--writing trivia for rice cracker packages; punching entry tickets…


Book cover of Queenie

Nichola K. Johnson Author Of Sounds of Diamonds

From my list on real-life stories about struggles in life.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a quiet and very shy child, I found myself sitting alone reading books rather than playing with other kids. My love for reading at the time was restricted to children’s books like The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe or Roald Dhal stories until I upgraded to Enid Blyton Books and Mills & Boon romances as a teen. It wasn’t until I reached my twenties when I actually found the genre I loved. It was through my love of these stories I came to realise I didn’t have to hide anymore, and my love for these stories planted a small seed in my mind that I would have the courage to write my own.

Nichola's book list on real-life stories about struggles in life

Nichola K. Johnson Why did Nichola love this book?

Carty-Williams tells a very clever and witty story of Queenie’s struggles navigating life as a young black woman in South East London, right where I grew up. I can relate to her work life, friendships, and love life so much it’s unreal. Whilst reading this book I could really feel myself within the plot as I’ve walked on some of the streets she talks about, been to places she talks about and of course, we all have a past and a story about our childhoods that make us who we are today, especially when they have been challenging. 

By Candice Carty-Williams,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Queenie as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

ONE OF TIME’S 100 BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR
ONE OF NPR’S BEST BOOKS OF 2019

NAMED ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOKS OF 2019 BY WOMAN’S DAY, NEWSDAY, PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, BUSTLE, AND BOOK RIOT!

“[B]rilliant, timely, funny, heartbreaking.” —Jojo Moyes, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Me Before You

For fans ofLusterandI May Destroy You,a disarmingly honest,unapologetically black, and undeniably witty debut novel that will speak to those who have gone looking for love and found something very different in its place.

Queenie Jenkins is a twenty-five-year-old Jamaican British woman living in London, straddling two cultures and slotting…


Book cover of Still Missing

Rachael Tamayo Author Of Crazy Love

From my list on psychological thrillers to turn your head inside out.

Why am I passionate about this?

When it comes to dark and twisted books with jaw dropping twists, I can’t get enough. I love them. I crave darkly creative books that make you think. Anything but your standard, everyday domestic thriller with the traumatized alcoholic main character. As a child I watched Law and Order and Masterpiece Theater mysteries with my mother. I loved a good British thriller. I suppose I got it from her, it was always something we shared. I veered clear of darker reading growing up, you don’t want to freak your parents out, of course. But now as an adult, I love it. No gore, no graphic shock horror for me. Psychological thrillers all the way. 

Rachael's book list on psychological thrillers to turn your head inside out

Rachael Tamayo Why did Rachael love this book?

This is the first book that I grabbed after seeing a BookTok recommendation for it. The premise was intriguing and what the reviewer said about it left me searching to see if there was an audiobook version. 

The only thing that stopped me from listening to this book in one sitting was life. Talk about a book that will leave you aching with the character, angry, and desperate for answers. Holy hot damn! I was in tears, I was gasping, I was listening with my mouth hanging open, grimacing in horror and I loved every bit of it. 

Trigger warnings throughout this book. I won't lie, this book is dark and horrible (in a good way) but it also left me feeling down. It's haunting and the narrative pulls you so far in you feel like you are there with her, held captive right by her side. Not to mention…

By Chevy Stevens,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Still Missing as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

On the day she was abducted, Annie O'Sullivan, a thirty-two year old realtor, had three goals—sell a house, forget about a recent argument with her mother, and be on time for dinner with her ever- patient boyfriend.

The open house is slow, but when her last visitor pulls up in a van as she's about to leave, Annie thinks it just might be her lucky day after all. Interwoven with the story of the year Annie spent as the captive of psychopath in a remote mountain cabin, which unfolds through sessions with her psychiatrist, is a second narrative recounting events…


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Book cover of Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?: Plan Now to Safeguard Your Health and Happiness in Old Age

Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old? By Joy Loverde,

Everything you need to know to plan for your own safe, financially secure, healthy, and happy old age.

For those who have no support system in place, the thought of aging without help can be a frightening, isolating prospect. Whether you have friends and family ready and able to help…

Book cover of Three Strong Women

Cordelia Schmidt-Hellerau Author Of Memento: A Novel in Dreams, Thoughts, and Images

From my list on literary fiction about what goes on in a person's mind.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm a psychoanalyst and a writer. I'm fascinated with the thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fantasies that make up our inner worlds, and I love how the beauty of language can reach beyond what ordinary experience seems to suggest. My novels take place in the minds of their protagonists; I look through their eyes and follow the ideas, memories, and hopes that guide their lives. I enjoy their idiosyncrasies, allow them to be weird, vulnerable, and volatile, and I think of them as lovable and in times of adversity as brave as any human being can be.

Cordelia's book list on literary fiction about what goes on in a person's mind

Cordelia Schmidt-Hellerau Why did Cordelia love this book?

This is one of the most fascinating and beautiful books I've read.

It gently leads the reader into the lives of three protagonists (told in loosely connected stories), whose relationships start seemingly real but get increasingly confusing, enigmatic, and almost psychotic. After I read this book, winner of the prestigious Prix Goncourt, I read all books by Marie NDiaye, and I loved them all.

Her language is original and amazing, and her characters are presented in such a caring and dignified way that the reader can empathize with and appreciate the difficult struggles of these women's disturbed and endlessly searching minds. Reading N'Diaye is an extraordinary experience. I am always waiting for her next publication.

By Marie NDiaye, John Fletcher (translator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Three Strong Women as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Forty-year-old Norah leaves Paris, her family and her career as a lawyer to visit her father in Dakar. It is an uncomfortable reunion - she is asked to use her skills as a lawyer to get her brother out of prison - and ultimately the trip endangers her marriage and her relationship with her own daughter, and drives her to the very edge of madness.

Fanta, on the other hand, leaves Dakar to follow her husband Rudy to rural France. And it is through Rudy's bitter and guilt-ridden perspective that we see Fanta stagnate with boredom in this alien, narrow…


Book cover of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last
Book cover of If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever
Book cover of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

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