10 books like Lovingkindness

This modern classic presents the essential teachings of Zen master Shunryu Suzuki.

Through a series of informal talks, Suzuki introduces the basics of Zen practice, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a beginner's mind. Suzuki is considered one of the big Zen masters from the US. He was not teaching Steve Jobs, as many think, however. But he was related to that person, Kobun Roshi.

As a trainer to many programming students, this book reminded me about the power of being a beginner, able to ask questions freely, and ready to make mistakes. It also makes me think often about being "senior" and how it negatively affects my own learning.

In the end, I started to see my own mistakes and those of my trainees as opportunities to either learn or teach.

In this straightforward meditation manual, Bhante G. (as he is affectionately called) sets forth the hows and whys of mindfulness meditation. When I first learned to meditate, I found this simple but profound book the most accessible of the many books available. My husband and I were so impressed with Bhante’s wisdom that we brought him to Columbus, Ohio to teach a weekend retreat for our local mindfulness group. He was warm, caring, and funny. His personality comes across in this small, but mighty book.

This slender book is my “bible” for inspiration as well as mindfulness. (One can’t go wrong with a book that includes a foreword by H.H. the Dalai Lama!) The first essay, “Twenty-four Brand-New Hours,” reminds me that each day affords an opportunity to bring “peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.” Thich Nhat Hanh, described in the introduction as “a cross between a cloud, a snail and a piece of heavy machinery—a true religious presence,” humbly offers simple ways to be present in the moment (the only moment we have, btw!). “We are very good at preparing to live,” the author reminds us, “but not very good at living.” The essays in Peace Is Every Step inspire me to breathe more, think less, wake up, and feel alive.   

I learned in my grief that the experience of loss can open the door wide for personal growth and transformation. Pema Chodron’s book brings the possibility of gentle healing through the lens of Buddhist practice. After the first year of loss, as I was beginning to regain some stability, this book helped me find my way into new spiritual practices. I used it to expand beyond old beliefs that no longer served me and into new ways of thinking and being. It grounded me in the context of suffering, helping me to see that I wasn’t alone; that suffering was nothing to be ashamed of. And her stories offered some practical ideas that I hadn’t found in my Christian spiritual practice.

Jon Kabat-Zinn is one of the founding teachers of mindfulness practice in the United States. Wherever You Go There You Are, another simple yet profound gem, sets forth the benefits and techniques for living in the moment. I really enjoy how he talks about the many ways to meditate. There is no one posture, no one practice, it is all about what you do with your awareness. As the subtitle says, the book explains how to take mindfulness meditation off the cushion and into everyday life.

If you’re interested in learning about Buddhism, you don’t want to go the route of Buddhism for Dummies; you want to read the words of true Buddhist masters who are pioneers in the field of making this ancient tradition accessible and relevant to our modern world. The Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh is famous for his peaceful demeanor as well as making Buddhism applicable and meditation easy to grasp and practice. While all of his books are lovely (you can even check out the recent shorter books such as How to Love or How to Fight) this book goes over the foundations of what the Buddha taught so for our purposes it hits the top of the list.

Moving from the Zen lineages over to another branch of this tradition, Tibetan Buddhism, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche was famous for making the esoteric accessible. In this book he covers a wide variety of topics ranging from the four foundations of mindfulness over to advanced Buddhist views around taking vows and maintaining sacred outlook throughout one’s day. Bonus: there’s a section devoted to a number of modern day issues where he offers Buddhist teachings on relationships, art, and money.

I vacillated wildly on which of Pema Chödrön’s books to include here, as many of them cover Buddhism in such a way that the teachings are made modern and relevant to whatever readers are going through. This book, for example, covers the ancient lojong, or mind-training, slogans of the Buddhist master Atisha and shows how this very old text has a lot to say about how we can live a life based in mindfulness and compassion. I don’t think you can go wrong by picking up any of her books (or any books written by any of these authors, frankly), but this one fits best for our purposes for a strong introduction to the fundamental teachings of Buddhism.

If you thought my list would be all yoga-based texts, you thought wrong. This book is a book I have turned to again and again to find my way out of a rut—a yoga teaching rut or a life rut. At the heart of her message, Neff reminds readers that they are the people most able to offer care, compassion, support, and love to themselves. This book is empowering, eye-opening, and a call to action on self-ahimsa. It’s a book that builds up your sense of self in a real, tangible way (not a self-helpy, talk show kind of way.) Self-Compassion is a book that helps you develop emotional resilience—something that helps on and off the yoga mat! 

Brown invites readers to "join a wholehearted revolution,” and that sums up everything I love about her work.

Her kindness and empathy are what draw you into the book, and her honest wisdom is what makes you come back for more (time and again, in my case at least).

Around 2 million other book buyers agree, so I’m not going out on a limb by recommending this one, but let me suggest that it’s worth a reread or three. You’ll learn something new, inspiring, and useful every time.