Here are 99 books that Forgiving the Unforgivable fans have personally recommended if you like
Forgiving the Unforgivable.
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I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
As an infidelity specialist, I had read nearly every book on the subject of recovering from affairs. Impressed with her perspective, I attended a 3-day workshop intensive with Dr. Shirley Glass. I loved her approach to helping couples in the aftermath of affairs and it influenced my clinical practice. She believes in the notion of “no secrets allowed” in order to rebuild trust. Dr. Glass debunks the rationalizations about various kinds of infidelity and includes emotional infidelity as a violation of the marital bond. In my opinion, she does the best job of anyone of reducing the shame and blame of betrayed spouses and offers practical insights to the ones who stepped out of their marriages.
One of the world's leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity-from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it.
You're right to be cautious when you hear these words: "I'm telling you, we're just friends."
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for "friendships" that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red…
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
I found Gary and Mona Shriver’s true story a captivating read. They share their personal journeys of weathering and surviving Gary’s extramarital affair. Couples suffering from the impact of infidelity often feel isolated and alone. It helps to read a realistic yet successful story about a marriage similarly impacted by the trauma of infidelity. They are Christians and so this book is especially helpful for believers. I often recommend this book to both partners. I have found that faithful spouses really appreciate the book and hope their partners will grow to better understand their pain as a result of reading it.
This book was revised in 2009 and is now titled Unfaithful: Hope and Healing after Infidelity. The new version has significantly more information and addresses emotional affairs.
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
Frank Pittman is a Systems-trained psychiatrist. He is very funny and down to earth. I enjoyed attending a workshop by him. This book is very pointed and challenges many of the rationalizations that unfaithful partners use to justify their affairs. One betrayer called it “the book from hell” (which was a good thing). An entertaining read. Helps the betrayed person feel validated and provides common-sense realities to help formerly straying spouses in their journey to increased integrity in their personal lives.
Why do half the people in marriages have affairs? What problems are they trying to solve?
Using actual case studies, as well as examples from music, literature, and film, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity-the accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance-discussed how to limit the damage that affairs do, and offers practical suggestions on how to make a marriage work.
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
A terrific, candid book for both partners in a marriage rocked by an affair. They walk the reader through each phase of his infidelity and its impact on their marriage: the rationalizations, trauma, the fall-out, divorce, and eventual restoration of their marriage. Terrific insights, especially for the unfaithful. While Dr. Jay ascribes the key to their recovery as his wife’s constant love, I believe he overlooked another important factor: his wife stopping her tendency to over-accommodate, learning to set boundaries, and treating herself with more self-respect. It’s in the book but not credited as a significant factor in him wanting her again and motivating him to take a hard look at himself. Especially helpful for unfaithful men who are executives and travel a lot for work.
Jay, a psychologist with a national consulting practice; Julie, an international model, and professional entertainer. It was a fairytale courtship beyond what either ever expected; a true love affair nothing could ever take away... so they thought.
In memoir prose, Surprised by Love attracts readers into an intimate, true encounter of the harsh realities of infidelity and divorce, why and how it occurs, and leads them transparently through a pathway of decisions to change and recreate the relationship they desire.
I’m a teacher with passion for history and writing realistic fiction. I published my two books when I was a teenager, and I currently work as a 6th-grade educator teaching writing. I love teaching and working with kids; it keeps me young. When I’m not teaching writing, I love to read realistic fiction, listen to or watch documentaries or horror podcasts, and write short stories.
I absolutely love and recommend this book to anyone who loves a good mystery or twist at the end of the story. The main characters, three teenage girls, in this book are so well thought out, and every chapter shows the transition of their own thoughts and dialects. It taught me that appearances aren’t always what’s in the mirror, and how much young adults to the elderly struggle and grow throughout their lives. Overall, this book is a fantastic story and worth the read!
This emotional and evocative novel explores the lives of three young women. Madeline, Desiree, and Ariel - who narrate alternating chapters - may live in separate decades, but they struggle with issues that transcend time and place. Madeline is worn down by caring for her alcoholic mother and has been teased since childhood for being overweight. Angry, foul-mouthed Desiree will do anything to avoid her neglectful mother and the unwanted advances of her mother's boyfriend. And sensitive Ariel struggles with the pressures of taking AP classes and coping with a domineering boyfriend. As the girls' individual stories progress, the truth…
Since I began reading seriously (albeit late in life!), I’ve been seduced by the travails of underdog protagonists trying to save their own lives through transformation. If you had told me when I was a teenager—drinking too much, racing muscle cars, and scraping by with Ds and Cs in a vocational high school—that I would end up teaching writing at a university, I would’ve said you were nuts. It wasn’t until I started college in my mid-twenties that I actually read a novel for the pleasure of it. My novel and short story collection are expressions of my cheering on the young underdogs who bravely fight to change their worlds despite all odds.
In a heartfelt story of redemption, Deanna Lambert was labeled the school slut after her father caught her having car sex with a high school boy. Unforgiven and dejected in a smothering, gossip-fueled small town, Deanna faces the people she least wants to face in a moving attempt to outlive her past, with no help offered by her dysfunctional parents and a sister overwhelmed with young motherhood. I loved the gorgeous realism of this book, fueled by the deep intimacy Zarr creates with her sincere, frank-hearted, narrator.
Sara Zarr's lyrical debut novel--a National Book Award finalist--has been adapted for TV!
I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Tommy Webber in the back of Tommy's Buick. Tommy was seventeen and the supposed friend of my brother, Darren.
I'm not sure I even liked him.
In a moment, Deanna Lambert's teenage life is changed forever. Struggling to overcome the lasting repercussions and the stifling role of "school slut," Deanna longs to escape a life defined by her past. With subtle grace, complicated wisdom, and striking emotion, Story of a Girl reminds us of our human capacity for…
I am a professor of psychology and psychiatry at Cambridge University. I've been conducting autism research for 40 years, and this has taken me deep into understanding how the mind works, in both autistic and neurotypical people. I've focused in particular on two aspects of the mind, empathy and systemizing, to understand how these develop, how individual differences in these arise, and how we can celebrate such neurodiversity and provide support for people who struggle with these. My research spans psychology, neuroscience, genetics, endocrinology, clinical practice, education, and vulnerability.
Maria Cantacuzino’s favourite emotion is forgiveness. I agree with her it is a powerful emotion and a good way to live. Maria founded a unique and important charity, The Forgiveness Project, which helps victims forgive the perpetrators of their crimes by understanding their back story, and gives perpetrators a chance to understand the feelings of their victim and apologise. There is a very close link between forgiveness and empathy, because when a victim forgives a perpetrator they are setting aside the immediate desire for revenge and hate, to understand the reasons why a person might have done bad things. And when a perpetrator apologises to a victim, they are no longer seeing the person as an object but can now see the person as a subject, with feelings such as pain and loss. Maria explores the limits of forgiveness and argues there are no limits, however awful the crime. Her…
What is forgiveness? Are some acts unforgivable? Can forgiveness take the place of revenge?
Powerful real-life stories from survivors and perpetrators of crime and violence reveal the true impact of forgiveness on ordinary people worldwide. Exploring forgiveness as an alternative to resentment or retaliation, the storytellers give an honest, moving account of their experiences and what part forgiveness has played in their lives. Despite extreme circumstances, their stories open the door to a society without revenge.
All royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity.
When I was growing up, I had no idea that New York State had 200 years of slavery. And when I realized that my Dutch American ancestors had been some of the most fervent enslavers, I knew I had to know more. It wasn’t until I met Eleanor Mire, a woman who is descended from the very people that my family enslaved, that my story became fuller. We realized that, through rape, we shared ancestors, which makes us “linked descendants.” Rather than turning away from the upsetting history, we became friends who knew we needed to keep learning and tell the stories of those who had been lost.
Although this book is less about slavery as it happened and more about what took place after the Civil War ended slavery in the United States, it is one of the best books I’ve ever seen that explains just how America still hasn’t recovered from its legacy.
This is one of those books where I kept underlining passages, such as one where the racist Southerner said that slavery was like an “apprenticeship” for “savage races” or how nostalgia for a romantic version of the Civil War poisoned our understanding of history. I want to read this book three more times so that I can fully absorb its wise lessons.
Winner of the Bancroft Prize Winner of the Gilder Lehrman Lincoln Prize Winner of the Merle Curti award Winner of the Frederick Douglass Prize
No historical event has left as deep an imprint on America's collective memory as the Civil War. In the war's aftermath, Americans had to embrace and cast off a traumatic past. David Blight explores the perilous path of remembering and forgetting, and reveals its tragic costs to race relations and America's national reunion.In 1865, confronted with a ravaged landscape and a torn America, the North and South began a slow and painful process of reconciliation. The…
I often refer to myself as a haunted body. Death is something that has fascinated and alarmed me since I can remember. I’ve even had a spooky experience or five that I can’t explain. But to write a ghost story is akin to making someone fall in love with you, or lean in close to hear a secret. I love the intrigue and power of that kind of tale. Our oldest stories are ghost stories and the biggest and most enduring mystery for the entirety of humanity is: Is there life after death?
Helen has been haunting the English classroom for 130 years and has never, not once, been seen. And then she feels his eyes on her. Seeing her, reallyseeing her like she hasn’t been seen in decades. Without wanting to be, Helen is drawn to him. That he has a body and she doesn’t is nothing in the face of their growing love, and the two form a bond that defies death. Let me tell you this book had me in tears. I read it years ago and still think of it with deep affection. I even wrote a song about it when I was far younger and far less self-conscious than I am now!
In the class of the high school English teacher she has been haunting, Helen feels them: for the first time in 130 years, human eyes are looking at her. They belong to a boy, a boy who has not seemed remarkable until now. And Helen—terrified, but intrigued—is drawn to him. The fact that he is in a body and she is not presents this unlikely couple with their first challenge. But as the lovers struggle to find a way to be together, they begin to discover the secrets of their former lives and of the young people they come to…
After high school, I traveled, exploring cultures beyond North America. I worked on kibbutzim in Israel for nearly two years. During the Yom Kippur War, exploding bombs drove us into underground shelters until the ceasefire. That experience made me consider the impact of war in new ways. Decades later, I wrote about the issue of "conflict" in my country: the Acadian deportation and World War Two. As a school librarian meeting Palestinian families in 2002, I decided to research and visit families in the West Bank through Christian Peacemaker Teams for my novel The Shepherd’s Granddaughter. A story children told me there inspired my picture book What the Kite Saw.
This author-illustrator has a gift for creating a high-concept, wordless story that young children can follow and enjoy in bold, simple images. I love how Otoshi chooses physical play to show the development and resolution of "conflict" at a child’s level. Not so easy to do!
The story begins with two boys separately drawing lines. When they bump into each other, they don’t turn angry. They play together. What fun when the lines come to life and become one long rope!
Then, one boy gets tangled and falls, and the other laughs at him. Anger builds, and the rope magically morphs into a bad, ugly space between them that grows until one boy starts to colour on the space. The other joins him. They laugh at how messy they look before running down the wonderful road they just created.
Draw the Line is a powerful picture book about forgiveness from Kathryn Otoshi, author of the bestselling book One.
When two boys draw their own lines and realize they can connect them together-magic happens!
But a misstep causes their lines to get crossed.
Push! Pull! Tug! Yank! Soon their line unravels into an angry tug-of-war.
With a growing rift between them, will the boys ever find a way to come together again?
Acclaimed author/illustrator Kathryn Otoshi uses black and white illustrations with thoughtful splashes of color to create a powerful, multi-layered statement about friendship, boundaries, and healing after conflict.
