100 books like Entangling Alliances

This book taught me a huge amount about the history of love and marriage. Who knew that, prior to the nineteenth century, the idea of marrying for love was so rare? With this historical insight in mind, it became clearer to me why marriages based on love, with their high expectations for life-long partnership, sexual compatibility, and emotional intimacy, are so challenging—and often end in divorce.

Stephanie Coontz makes these topics entertaining and accessible, from marriage in the ancient world, to 1950s-era nuclear families, to the challenges and opportunities that lovers, spouses, and families face in the twenty-first century.

Tinder and other dating sites may seem like a very modern way to meet a spouse but, as Francesca Beauman’s book Shapley Ankle Preferred demonstrates, people have been advertising for love almost since the first newspaper advertisement was invented. Shapley Ankle shows how matrimonial advertising dramatically changed marriage and courtship. With the invention of these ads, single men and women were no longer dependent on friends and family for their marital futures. Suddenly, they could advertise for the kind of spouse they wanted and thousands did so -- many with amusing specificity.

Some examples include the man looking for a wife with “but one leg” and the woman who requested her future husband not drink “above two bottles of claret in a sitting.” Nevertheless, other advertisements were less humorous and revealed authors hoping marriage could save them from penury, cruel families, or simply loneliness. These motivations remain highly relevant today.… show more.

When American’s think of marriage, they tend to view it approvingly, as a good, wholesome institution that forms the foundation of American society. However, marriage has also been a back door to otherwise forbidden and harmful behavior. In American Child Bride, Nicolas Syrett explores the history of minor marriage in America as well as the shockingly high rates of underage marriages that continue today. The book highlights the complexity of these relationships, demonstrating that they could be dangerously exploitative but also, that the legal and social importance attached to marriage could make it an attractive option, even for children, and particularly, for minor wives. Today, child marriage continues to receive a level of legal and social approval absent from all other forms of sexual activity with minors. American Child Bride provides a compelling explanation for this exception, as well as a sobering discussion of why the practice is likely… show more.

Primates of Park Avenue provides a gripping and somewhat horrifying look at love and marriage within the elite social circles of Manhattan’s Upper East Side. The book reveals that among the uber-wealthy, marriage has more in common with the Victorian marital bargain than with modern-day ideas about partnership and equality. Readers will likely be both repulsed and enthralled by the world Martin describes; a world in which women trade professional success for wealthy husbands and receive year-end “wife bonuses” when they have performed their wifely roles well. Primates of Park Avenue proves the old adage, “when you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny.” At the same time, it also shows why, for many, the allure of marrying for money remains irresistible.

People who are non-monogamous often feel pressure to portray their relationships in the most positive light possible in the face of daily stigma, judgment, and pushback. Not so with Rachel Krantz’s Open. Krantz’s memoir takes the reader through the trials and tribulations of her first polyamorous relationship, refusing to leave out the gritty, sexy, and sometimes uncomfortable details. In addition to sharing her story, Krantz also includes relationship wisdom from a wide variety of perspectives—therapists, sex workers, and even a Buddhist monk. This book offers a refreshingly real take on polyamory, including the dark pitfalls as well as moments of unadulterated ecstasy and joy. 

I Have the Right to is the true story of Chessy Prout, who was sexually assaulted as a freshman as part of a ritualized “game” of conquest perpetrated by the boys at her high school. The book follows her quest for justice, as her case and trial gained international media attention. She has become a passionate advocate for consent education, and in 2017 (at the age of eighteen!) she started a non-profit dedicated to raising awareness of sexual assault in high schools. I’m in awe and admiration of the bravery and strength of this young woman, and believe everyone—teens and adults, boys and girls, everyone—needs to read her story. 

The name Alfred Kinsey will be extremely well-known indeed. Although trained as an entomologist and zoologist, this distinguished academic became one of the true pioneers of the field of sexual research.

In 1948, Kinsey, along with his colleagues Wardell Pomeroy and Clyde Martin, produced the most brave book about erotic life since the work of Sigmund Freud decades previously, revealing in immense detail the nature of sexual behaviours in the United States of America. This best-selling book helped to transform the field of sexuality, reducing the shame associated with many forms of non-coital sex.

This 1948 masterpiece, known colloquially as the Kinsey Report, would be followed by a sequel, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, published in 1953, co-authored by many other colleagues, including six women. I found this book quite an inspiration for my own research on adult sexual fantasies, and I drew hugely upon Kinsey’s boldness… show more.

This is a simply astonishing book, one to be read by all women but, perhaps more importantly, by all men. To say it was a revelation to read is a bit of an understatement. It is described as a revolutionary book, providing a new understanding of what it is to be female. It’s gynaecological, historical, cultural, anthropological, and evolutionary in its massive scope. 

As the author says, the vagina is actually a muscular marvel of engineering, sensitive and strong, fluid and flexible. Far from being passive vessels, female genitalia control the most important ‘role’ of all: the survival of the species.

Dr. Blackledge is a scientist, sex educator, and fertility campaigner, and her book has sold over 100,000 copies and been translated into ten languages. Jeanette Winterton says of Raising the Skirt, ‘it is completely fascinating’.

Much more than that, it throws into sharp relief the oppression of women… show more.

In Suicide Blonde, the lead character Jesse tries to sustain a connection with her beautiful bisexual boyfriend, Bell, who though he loves her, cannot refuse the allure of sex with strange men and seems to be regularly “dipped in sleaze.” Jesse becomes caretaker of Madam Pig, an old obese beauty queen who lives in a crumbling old house. The paint peels in the wind with only vacant lots and industrial buildings nearby, as Madam Pig swills red wine and vomits down staircases. I loved this book for the lonely dystopian feel and the way Jesse seems utterly alone in the world. I also loved the natural way Stienke writes about sex. I learned a great deal from her graphic content, learning how to actually write sex into litertaure. The book is not for the faint of heart and does not have a happy ending, but in its way, it… show more.

Just the other day I got an email from a wife worried about her aging husband losing confidence, and I immediately recommended All Night Long. Sex doesn’t have to end when our husbands slow down. In fact, sex can get better than it has ever been before because change is an opportunity for growth. This book is filled with activities that will help boost your confidence and make your sex life sizzle.