100 books like Facing Death

I loved this book because it builds from the sadness of a life taken far too young to the beauty of deep reflections on the meaning of life, love, and loss. Paul Kalanithi was a brilliant neurosurgeon just completing his years of training when he was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer.

Kalanithi, a new father, wrote much of this book while he was dying. As a writer myself, this book caused me to wonder if I could be so open about my reality, in a book or any other form, while dying. I do not know the answer, but I treasure the experience of having read a book that raised such a powerful stirring in myself. Like the other books I recommend, Kalanithi’s memoir is a gift from the book Gods.

Being Mortal exposes the often-inhumane ways “modern healthcare” cares for older people who are ill. Too often, we send older people to soulless institutionalized living facilities, overtreat them with medications and procedures, and undertreat them with kindness and dignity.

We can do much better in caring for chronically ill elderly people, and Gawande makes a strong case for doing so in this beautifully written book. I assign this book for my healthcare seminar, and it often emboldens students to intervene in the healthcare and living experiences of elderly family members. It happens every semester. I love it!

Oh, how I loved this book. It is the true story of her experience as a critical care physician at Detroit’s Henry Ford Hospital, becoming, in an instant, a critically ill patient. What captivates me is the beauty of the writing–it reads like a novel–and her bravery in writing it.

Cared for in her own hospital, she writes not only about how the medical staff saved her life but also how it often undermined her dignity, especially with the language used in her presence, such as, “She is circling the drain.” Dr. Awdish’s experience changed her as a physician; reading her story supercharged my passion for improving kindness and dignity in patient care.

This is a much-needed book written with grace, insight, and feeling. Dr. Nuila is a physician at Ben Taub, Houston’s biggest hospital primarily serving medically vulnerable, low-income patients.

Every page of this book is about assuring kind, dignified healthcare for the poor. As Nuila writes: “… I try to find my patients’ stories. It’s my favorite part of being a doctor. I don’t mean their medical histories. I mean the circumstances of their lives. All of the information helps me to better empathize with them, but the stories also make medical care more efficient, more personal…” (p.14).

If you believe that access to quality healthcare is a right and not a privilege, as I do, then I urge you to read this marvelous book that teaches, inspires, and reminds us of healthcare’s true mission.

My mom and I are competing to see who can give away more copies of this book; we love it that much. Both of us have been bedside caregivers for dying relatives and have seen firsthand how beautiful that process can be if people are prepared.

I love how the book is designed with nice, large print, lovely illustrations, and little snacks of insight sprinkled throughout in boxes and “fast facts.” This book is the essential What to Expect When You’re Expecting–but for death.

This haunting collection of stories had me on the edge of my seat as I read. I both recognized the territory and was engrossed by Holt’s approach as he turned on his head the commonly-held wisdom of power and control in the doctor-patient relationship.

This finely-crafted collection has a lot of raw honesty, and the final story is a knock-out. Terrence Holt is an American gerontologist and academic.

If you desire to be well this is the first step on the journey. Dr. Saundra is a truly kind and compassionate doctor. She guides us through the tough issues of not taking proper care of ourselves and offers inspiration on how to give us a soft place to rest. She gives us action steps we can do every day to reclaim our emotional, physical, and spiritual health. I was thrilled to be an invited guest on her ground-breaking I Choose My Best Life podcast to talk about resilience and recovery from addiction. I hope you love this book as much as I did!

I LOVE the author’s voice in this memoir: she is eloquent, funny, and blisteringly honest about the dehumanization that has plagued medical training from its inception to this day.

I found it enlightening to see that a woman who is a concert pianist and turned down a full scholarship to Oxford to go to medical school suffered the same level of self-doubt as a medical student and resident that I did! I found her descriptions of sleep deprivation, the anxiety of being on call, and the pager as “the box of pain” highly relatable, even as I laughed out loud—or sometimes shed a tear.

I was inspired by her redemption through what she called “Doctor Rehab,” a Zen mindfulness retreat which gave her a whole new take on her calling.   

Many people imagine that healing and dying are antithetical. However, this is not necessarily so. Sometimes, in the right circumstances, death can be healing not just for the person whose life is ending but for those who love them. 

Unfortunately, American hospital care does not usually facilitate such graceful transitions.  Kaufman, a medical anthropologist, compiles case histories of end-of-life care in medical facilities in order to help us understand the complexities that face us in these contexts. Since most Americans now die in some kind of medical institution, this book should be required reading for everyone—before it happens to us.

This book was helpful for me to navigate the finale of my parent’s lives. But The Art of Dying Well isn't just about one's parents. Many baby boomers are unprepared for dealing with their own aging. I suggest reading it well before you need it. Knowledge is power, and Butler's book gave me the gift of learning more now, while things are relatively calm. A crisis visit to an ER isn't the time to cram in education and research. You may need to be an advocate for yourself or someone you love sooner than later. I have suggested the book to my siblings and friends, which will hopefully lead to meaningful conversation and planning to support each other through our elder years. I am grateful for Butler's practical guide, which is filled with wisdom and resources. I anticipate referring to it again and again as I age.