In the early 2000s I was a dad of 2 daughters with no idea what I was doing. After some major parenting blunders I quit a successful radio career and returned to university to learn how to become a better dad. And 8 ½ years later I graduated with an honours degree in psychology and a PhD! A short time later my wife and I had our 6th daughter. The books on this list have paved the way for us to flourish as a family. Today I have Australia’s no. 1 podcast for parenting, my own TV show (Parental Guidance), and a family I love like crazy.
I wrote
Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to Talk
This book was the one that opened my eyes to a whole new world of research, relationships, and parenting. It drove me to a new life studying psychology, and upended everything I thought I knew about parenting. This book changed my life trajectory, and the trajectory of my family—forever.
(With honourable mentions for Unconditional Parenting, The Myth of the Spoiled Child, The Homework Myth, and No Contest, all by Kohn).
Since its publication in 1993, this groundbreaking book has convinced countless parents, teachers, and managers that working with people is more successful than doing things to them. "Do rewards motivate people?" asks Kohn. "Yes. They motivate people to get rewards." Moreover, the use of rewards actually undermines the quality of people's work or learning - and causes them to lose interest in whatever they've been bribed to do. Seasoned with humour and familiar examples - and updated to include a wealth of recent research, Punished by Rewards presents an argument unsettling to hear but impossible to dismiss.
There's a reason that this book is considered one of the ultimate books ever written on parenting: it's sublime in its simplicity and practicality. Pick this book up and read a few pages and you're guaranteed to be changed. You'll act differently towards your children. They'll feel the difference in you, and they'll act differently towards you. Ginott has written the classic and he did it years before we had the research to shine a light on just how right he was.
Strengthen your relationship with your children with this revised edition of the book by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott that has helped millions of parents around the world.
In this revised edition, Dr. Alice Ginott, clinical psychologist and wife of the late Haim Ginott, and family relationship specialist Dr. H. Wallace Goddard usher this bestselling classic into the new century while retaining the book’s positive message and Haim Ginott’s warm, accessible voice. Based on the theory that parenting is a skill that can be learned, this indispensable handbook will show you how to: • Discipline without threats, bribes, sarcasm, and…
Gottman is widely considered the ultimate relationships guru, worldwide. When he turned his attention to parenting to write this book, he provided parents with a blueprint for understanding and dealing with children's emotions that is unsurpassed. I have used this book as a reference for nearly 20 years and still find gems that inspire better interactions between my kids and I. One of the best parenting books on the planet.
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is John Gottman’s groundbreaking guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world.
Intelligence That Comes from the Heart
Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance…
Now and then a psychology researcher has a breakthrough that is so perfectly practical and useful that everybody needs to know about it. This book describes that breakthrough. Some people think intelligence is a fixed trait. You're either smart or dumb. Full stop. Others believe intelligence is malleable. Time, life, and experience can build intelligence like weights can build a muscle. It turns out, regardless of what you think, you're right. But one of these mindsets is much more useful for a satisfying, growth-oriented life. This is a life-changing book.
World-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, in decades of research on achievement and success, has discovered a truly groundbreaking idea-the power of our mindset.
Dweck explains why it's not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. She makes clear why praising intelligence and ability doesn't foster self-esteem and lead to accomplishment, but may actually jeopardize success. With the right mindset, we can motivate our kids and help them to raise their grades, as well as reach our own goals-personal and professional. Dweck reveals what all great parents, teachers,…
A harrowing series of accounts outlining the impact trauma has on children. As someone who has little capacity for hearing horrible stories of damaged lives because it makes me so sad, Perry has been sensitive and gentle. Read this to understand trauma, and to learn how to build resilience.
What happens when a young child is traumatized? How does terror affect a child's mind-and how can that mind recover? Child psychiatrist Bruce Perry has treated children faced with unimaginable horror: homicide survivors, witnesses to their own parents' murders, children raised in closets and cages, the Branch Davidian children, and victims of extreme neglect and family violence. In The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, Dr. Perry tells their stories of trauma and transformation. He explains what happens to the brain when children are exposed to extreme stress and trauma and reveals his innovative (non-medicinal) methods for helping to…
There has never been a better time to be a teenage girl. But perhaps there has never been a harder time. We know that connection is at the heart of our teenage daughters' happiness. And we do our best to have strong connections with our girls. But despite this, we often feel a disconnect. Or perhaps, more precisely, a mis-connect.
If you're looking to understand your teen daughter better and deepen your connection with her, this book is your guide. Drawing on cutting-edge psychology research along with interviews and surveys from close to 400 teenage girls, Miss-connection will take you into the world your teen girl experiences and help you connect with her the way she needs you to.
The Curiosity Cycle is a book for parents and educators who want to teach their children to be active explorers of the world. Learning through curiosity leads to adaptive thinking because your child is continually trying to improve his or her understanding of the world, and new facts and ideas become embedded in the knowledge that your child already has. Curiosity will also enrich your child's life because curiosity-based learning is internally directed and intrinsically motivated.
Our world is rapidly changing, and our children must be able to filter the cacophony of voices in cyberspace to stay true to their…
The Curiosity Cycle: Preparing Your Child for the Ongoing Technological Explosion
Through curiosity, children carve out concepts from the environment that they assemble into models to describe the world. Children then test those models to see how well they predict what they observe, and they use the results from those experiments to form new concepts and models---leading to the next round of the curiosity cycle. However, our children are more than passive observers. They are an embodied part of the world and have brains that are predisposed to see the environment in particular ways. To get the most from their curiosity, children must build models about the intentions of those around…
