The best books for parents who want to create strong connections in their families

Why are we passionate about this?

Joanna Faber is the daughter of Adele Faber, a pioneer of the internationally acclaimed best-selling How To Talk series that has helped millions of parents worldwide. Joanna joined forces with her childhood friend Julie King to provide support for parents and educators of the 21st century. Each draws on her own experiences – Joanna as a bilingual teacher in West Harlem, Julie as a specialist in helping parents of children on the autism spectrum – to lead workshops and speak to parent groups, teachers, doctors, and librarians worldwide, including online sessions to support parents during Covid lockdowns and afterwards. Together, Joanna and Julie have written two best-selling How To Talk books


We wrote...

How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

By Joanna Faber, Julie King,

Book cover of How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

What is our book about?

This newest book in the best-selling How To Talk Series offers concrete strategies for the challenges of childhood, from tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics.

The authors answer readers' questions about homework hassles, sibling battles, digital dilemmas, problems with punishment, and more. Readers can turn directly to any topic of interest and find the help they need, with handy “reminder pages” at the end of each chapter. Using a combination of whimsical cartoons, lively stories from real parents and professionals, and entertaining practice exercises, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen provides practical solutions to struggles familiar to parents, grandparents, teachers, and anyone else who lives or works with children.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Punished By Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes

Joanna Faber and Julie King Why did I love this book?

Alfie Kohn offers an eye-opening perspective on the perils of punishment and rewards.

If you've ever questioned the wisdom of using gold star charts and m&m motivators for children, this groundbreaking book is for you. Here is the science behind why extrinsic rewards can extinguish intrinsic motivation, and what to do instead. I found it both an enlightening and entertaining read. It may profoundly change your approach to parenting.

By Alfie Kohn,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Punished By Rewards as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Since its publication in 1993, this groundbreaking book has convinced countless parents, teachers, and managers that working with people is more successful than doing things to them. "Do rewards motivate people?" asks Kohn. "Yes. They motivate people to get rewards." Moreover, the use of rewards actually undermines the quality of people's work or learning - and causes them to lose interest in whatever they've been bribed to do. Seasoned with humour and familiar examples - and updated to include a wealth of recent research, Punished by Rewards presents an argument unsettling to hear but impossible to dismiss.


Book cover of Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

Joanna Faber and Julie King Why did I love this book?

The most frustrating and sometimes enraging moments for me as a parent have been when one of my kids hurts the feelings (or the body) of another. Why can’t they just get along??

This book will tell you why! And also, what you can do about it. It’s chock full of humorous and relatable true stories that will give you insights and solutions for your own family. 

By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Siblings Without Rivalry as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Already best-selling authors with How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish turned their minds to the battle of the siblings. Parents themselves, they were determined to figure out how to help their children get along. The result was Siblings Without Rivalry. This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding-much gained from raising their own children-Faber and Mazlish explain how and…


Book cover of Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

Joanna Faber and Julie King Why did I love this book?

Instead of starting with the question, "How can I change my child's behavior?" Andrew Solomon starts by asking, "How does my child experience the world?"

He tells the stories of parents who have struggled to accept that their children are profoundly different from them and offers a deeply optimistic view of relationships and family. This book takes a fascinating dive into different ways of being human – among them, deafness, dwarfism, transgenderism, autism – and inspires us to look at our children through new eyes.

By Andrew Solomon,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Far from the Tree as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, a Books for a Better Life Award, and one of The New York Times Book Review’s Ten Best Books of 2012, this masterpiece by the National Book Award–winning author of The Noonday Demon features stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so—“a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity” (People).

Solomon’s startling proposition in Far from the Tree is that being exceptional is at the core of the human condition—that difference is what unites us. He writes about…


Book cover of Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism

Joanna Faber and Julie King Why did I love this book?

Many readers gave us appreciative feedback for including a chapter on kids who are differently wired in our first book. If you are one of those readers, you’ll love Barry Prizant's book.

When I read it I thought, “Yes, yes, YES!” Finally, a book about kids on the spectrum that treats them as fully human instead of problems to be solved with behavior charts, rewards, and punishments. Prizant will help you meet your child’s needs along with your own, while respecting and celebrating their individuality.

By Barry M Prizant, Tom Fields-Meyer,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Uniquely Human as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Winner of the Autism Society of America’s Dr. Temple Grandin Award for the Outstanding Literary Work in Autism

A groundbreaking book on autism, by one of the world’s leading experts, who portrays autism as a unique way of being human—this is “required reading...Breathtakingly simple and profoundly positive” (Chicago Tribune).

Autism therapy typically focuses on ridding individuals of “autistic” symptoms such as difficulties interacting socially, communication problems, sensory challenges, and repetitive behavior patterns. Now, this updated and expanded edition of Dr. Barry M. Prizant’s Uniquely Human tackles new language such as shifting from “person-first language” to “identity-first language,” diversity of identity…


Book cover of Stop the Fight!: An Illustrated Guide for Couples: How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts

Joanna Faber and Julie King Why did I love this book?

Having children can put stress on a relationship. You COULD make an appointment to see a couples' therapist. Or, you could read Michelle Brody's insightful book.

Her explanations and whimsical diagrams, illustrating how conflicts between couples can escalate, will leave you chuckling with recognition and give you the tools to resolve your differences peacefully.

By Michelle Brody,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Stop the Fight! as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This Illustrated Guide for Couples Ends 12 Hurtful Arguments Once and for All!

Conflict within relationships is complex and challenging to overcome. In her 20 years of working with couples, clinical psychologist Michelle Brody found a way to make change simpler. Her secret: clear and lighthearted illustrations that help couples literally see what’s driving their battles and blocking their bond, so they can chart a course together to stop the fights.

The Money Fight
“You’re such a cheapskate!”
“You spend way too much!” The Sex Fight
“Not tonight. I’m not in the mood.”
“You haven’t been in the mood since…


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Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

By Antonieta Contreras,

Book cover of Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

Antonieta Contreras Author Of Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

As a trauma therapist and dedicated researcher, I love uncovering valuable insights within lesser-known books. There are hidden gems, free from the pressure of commercial success, crafted by authors deeply committed to research, understanding, and the art of writing itself. Their dedication resonates with me, as I believe in the profound value of information and the power of critical thinking. Through my own book, Traumatization and Its Aftermath, I aim to emphasize that psychological concepts often lose their depth in translation and my mission is spreading awareness and fostering a deeper understanding of trauma and its intricate facets. With that idea in mind, I chose these five titles. 

Antonieta's book list on uncovering the human experience and exploring the depths of trauma

What is my book about?

A fresh take on the difference between trauma and hardship in order to help accurately spot the difference and avoid over-generalizations.

The book integrates the latest findings in brain science, child development, psycho-social context, theory, and clinical experiences to make the case that trauma is much more than a cluster of symptoms to be tamed, but instead best understood as development gone off course, away from growth and towards (only) survival.

This book prompts a profound shift in perception, inviting to view trauma as an intricate and diverse experience, a point of view that ultimately leads to sharper treatment and, hopefully, more healing. It encourages a transition from asking, "What happened to you?" to the deeper question, "What is your relationship with what happened to you?"

Traumatization and Its Aftermath: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Treating Trauma Disorders

By Antonieta Contreras,

What is this book about?

The book is comprehensive, bold, and practical-a much-needed resource for the assessment and treatment of trauma. Instead of the traditional focus on the overall importance of healing, Traumatization and its Aftermath decodes why some people don't heal as easily as others, analyzes the various failures of diagnosis, and explains how to make therapeutic interventions truly effective.

This book offers a systemic deep dive into traumatization that clarifies myths and misinformation about the entire spectrum of trauma and provides both clinicians and non-clinicians with the right level of validation, preventive measures, conceptualization methodology, assessment tools, and healing facts that have not…


5 book lists we think you will like!

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