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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood (The How To Talk Series) Paperback – August 3, 2021

by Joanna Faber (Author), Julie King (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 288 ratings
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An all-new guide from the mega-bestselling How To Talk series applies trusted and effective communication strategies to the toughest challenges of raising children.

For forty years, readers have turned to Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish’s How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the book The Boston Globe called, “the parenting Bible,” for a respectful and practical approach to communication with children. Expanding upon this work, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, coauthored the bestselling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. Now, Faber and King have tailored How To Talk’s tried and trusted communication strategies to some of the most challenging childhood moments.

From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.

Part One introduces readers to the How To Talk “toolbox,” with whimsical cartoons demonstrating the basic communication skills that will transform readers’ relationships with children in their lives. In Part Two, Joanna and Julie answer specific questions and share relatable stories, offering practical tools for addressing issues such as homework hassles, sibling battles, digital dilemmas, problems with punishment, and more. Readers can turn directly to any topic of interest and find the help they need, with handy “reminder pages.”

Through the combination of lively stories from real parents and teachers, humorous illustrations, and entertaining exercises, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers real solutions to struggles familiar to every parent, grandparent, teacher, and anyone else who lives or works with children.
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  1. Part of series
    The How To Talk
  2. Print length
    400 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Publication date
    August 3, 2021
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 1 x 8.38 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1982134143
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1982134143
  8. See all details
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (The How To Talk Series)
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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)
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From the Publisher

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen
Customer Reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars
9,528
4.7 out of 5 stars
288
Price $11.49 $10.99
More books in the bestselling How to Talk parenting series A must-have guide for anyone who lives or works with young kids, with an introduction by Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Encouraging. . . . full of ideas worth returning to, this guide will leave parents feeling prepared." —Publishers Weekly

“Part of the bestselling 'How to Talk' series, this book is yet another winner. . . . an essential guide that’s easy to dip into as needed." —BookPage

"Parents looking for a one-stop approach to parenting will find this book very helpful.” —Booklist

"Make room on your bookshelf or kitchen table! This is the book you’ll turn to when you're wondering 'What do I say now?' It will keep you laughing and learning, and it will help change your family dynamics from conflict to cooperation." —Adele Faber, co-author of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

"Joanna Faber and Julie King have hit another one out of the park. With their trademark humor, wisdom, empathy and down-to-earth techniques, they address the everyday struggles that take the joy out of family life, such as power struggles and outbursts of emotion (our children's outbursts and our own)." —Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting and The Opposite of Worry

"Joanna Faber and Julie King are experts inrespectful communication with little kids. How to Talk When Kids Won’t Listen is a master class for parents to help kids through their difficult feelings and get kids to listen. I will be recommending this book for anyone who wants less conflict and more snuggles." —Hunter Clarke-Fields, author of Raising Good Humans

About the Author

Joanna Faber and Julie King are the authors of the bestselling book, How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2–7, which has been translated into twenty-two languages worldwide. They created the app HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, a companion to their book, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Together they speak to schools, businesses, and parent groups nationally and internationally, they lead “How To Talk” workshops and support groups online and in person, and provide private consultations. Visit them at How-to-Talk.com, on Facebook @FaberandKing or on Instagram @HowtoTalk.forParents.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Scribner (August 3, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1982134143
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982134143
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1 x 8.38 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 288 ratings

About the authors

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Previous page
  1. Julie King

    Julie King

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Julie King is the co-author, with Joanna Faber, of the new book How To Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, & other Challenges of Childhood, as well as the best selling book, How To Talk So LITTLE Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, which has been translated into 22 languages world-wide. She and Joanna also collaborated on the companion app HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, and the app Parenting Hero.

    Julie leads workshops in person and online, consults with parents of children ages two to teens by phone and video, and speaks publicly to schools, businesses and parent groups across the United States and internationally. She received her AB from Princeton University and a JD from Yale Law School. Julie and her husband live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where they are visited now and then by their three grown children. Visit her website at www.julieking.org, on Facebook @faberandking, or in Instagram @HowToTalk.forParents.

    See more on the author's page
  2. Joanna Faber

    Joanna Faber

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Joanna Faber is the coauthor, with Julie King, of the book, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, & Other Challenges of Childhood, as well as the best-selling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, which has been translated into 22 languages world-wide. She and Julie also created the app HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, a companion to their book, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Joanna writes, gives lectures and leads workshops in the U.S. and internationally. Visit Joanna and Julie at HowToTalkSoLittleKidswillListen.com or on Facebook: @faberandking.

    Joanna has a Master’s degree in Special Education and taught bilingual special education students in West Harlem for ten years. She is the daughter of internationally acclaimed, best-selling author and parent educator Adele Faber. She contributed heavily to her mother’s award-winning book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, with her front line experience in the classroom. She also wrote an afterword for the thirtieth anniversary edition of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

    She and her husband raised three sons in the Hudson Valley region of New York, along with dogs, cats, and an assortment of chickens.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
288 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Emily Ramirez
5.0 out of 5 stars super helpful parenting book
Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2024
Verified Purchase
this book is super handy for very specific scenarios. it takes you through simple situations that you have likely experienced at home and provides step by step instructions how to approach them. at the end of each chapter is a short guide list that is very helpful to reference!
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Pete & Melody Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars Saved me
Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2023
Verified Purchase
I read the authors first book about how fro so kids will listen! This book was helpful for me as we recently adopted two children and they needed special attention. One of the most helpful things we started implementing is the name calling strategy which showed us a different way to approach parenting with lots of helpful visual guides and examples
One person found this helpful
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Brandon
5.0 out of 5 stars Another great book by the authors
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2022
Verified Purchase
Great book with many helpful examples. I love the situational breakdowns ... they make this book very useful as a quick reference guide in the future. In the heat of the moment, I think we, as parents, sometimes forget how to best respond to our kids, but the content of this book provides much inspiration for how to do better.
9 people found this helpful
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T. Altherr
5.0 out of 5 stars I recommend this book as a speech therapist!
Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2024
I first heard of the How to Talk series when I was in grad school for speech therapy, and I've been devoted to it ever since! I specifically love this book and go back to it often, both for my own family and for the families I work with in early intervention! It is practical, helpful, and gives solid concrete guidelines to help your family function as best it can with young children. Following these guidelines has allowed me to sustain connection with my daughter with ADHD, even through trying pre-teen times.
One person found this helpful
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Kory A Dordea
4.0 out of 5 stars Parenting Guide
Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2022
Great parenting advice, especially for those tense times when your kids are driving you nuts. Practicing some of the recommendations presented in this book and they work.
One person found this helpful
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Ramblin Hamlin
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Parenting Book
Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2021
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, Listen so Little Kids Will Talk is one of my favorite parenting books. I recommend it to all my friends and family who have kids. When I saw Joanna and Julie had a new book coming out, I knew that I would read it. Especially when I have a child, who despite using the techniques in their first book, does not listen often.

The first part of the book is a small recap or reminder of the important topics discussed in their first book. Acknowledging feelings, engaging cooperation, offering choices, problem solving, praise etc etc etc. The second part of the book provides more examples of how to put these techniques into practice. To be honest, it was more or less an extension of their last book. Only there are more examples of how to apply these skills in your parenting. The examples are more specific and therefore more helpful. I found it useful because if a parent is having an issue with a particular battle, like sharing or homework then can flip to that specific chapter for tips.

I love the writing style of these two authors. It has great flow and they provide plenty of examples of how to put this into practice and when/how it worked for others. Each section ends with a recap which is helpful. The writing isn't dry or hard to follow which can be common in other parenting books. The way the book is formatted makes it easy to skip the sections that don't apply to you at the time.

I won't lie, while I enjoyed reading this book, I kept saying in my head "but what about a kid like mine? A kid who really doesn't respond well when I acknowledge his feelings which doesn't allow me to put the other skills into practice" and then they had a whole section for me which was titled "Troubleshooting" There was some good ideas that I could try to put into practice in the future with my challenging child.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and the authors get another 5 stars from me. I feel like this book is coming out at the perfect time. After being home with my kids for the last 16 months because of COVID, I realized that I had defaulted away from acknowledging feelings and engaging cooperation. I slipped back into some of the ways I used to parent before reading their first book. This book kind of gave me a bit of a reboot which I am grateful for. It was a refreshing read and makes me feel rejuvenated when it comes to parenting some of the challenging behaviors .
55 people found this helpful
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Gail Cornwall
5.0 out of 5 stars Great primer for new parents and refresher for those looking to better connect with tweens and teens
Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2022
Joanna Faber and Julie King have a hard row to hoe. Their subject matter - the challenges of childhood - has been covered and covered well, many times over. When I received a copy of How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen, the odds of it being worth reviewing seemed close to zero. But they nailed it. Part one includes tools for dealing with feelings (such as “simply listen with oh’s, ugh’s, mmm’s, and ah’s”), strategies for getting kids to cooperate, a problem-solving process to replace punishment, and ways to inspire without corrosive praise. What’s special isn’t the content. It’s that they present the basics of research-backed child wrangling skillfully, with comics that help break up the data dump (which, yay, feature drawings with different ethnicities and abilities), end-of-chapter summaries that are easy to post on a wall, and prose that’s relatable, practical, and even anticipates common objections (e.g., “Not every situation calls for acknowledging feelings! … “‘Mom, what does e-n-o-u-g-h spell?’ You don’t need to respond, ‘Sounds like you’re feeling frustrated and unsure of how to pronounce that strange and confusing collection of letters.’ You can simply say ‘enough.’”)

Faber and King relate to parents who make a muddle of things, writing, for example, “Our intention is to be soothing…. It will be OKAY! But the message they hear is a different one: ‘You can’t have what you want and I don’t care, because your feelings are not important enough to bother about.’” At the same time, the authors successfully put the adult reader inside a child’s head: “How would you feel if your husband …” they often ask.

Part two is a little bit exemplar and a little bit additional justification, using real-life scenarios from letters, emails, and workshop conversations to demonstrate how the tools of part one can be applied in specific situations. You could skip it, but then you’d miss gems like, “When kids complain over nothing, just to get attention, we can just give them attention, because that’s what they need” and “If your child continues to whine, we give you permission to tell them ‘I can’t listen anymore,’ and leave the room!” Highly recommend as a primer for parents of young kids and a reminder for the more seasoned among us looking to better connect with tweens and teens.
10 people found this helpful
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