79 books like But You Look So Normal

This book opened my eyes to see introversion as a strength rather than a weakness. But more so, it gave me the permission to question how things that we took as “just the way things are” might have been positioned incorrectly from the start.

If it wasn’t true that introversion is inherently worse than extroversion, what else might popular culture and mainstream workplace practices have gotten wrong? I felt seen by the book and hopeful of what more honest conversations about how people are wired might both reveal and help heal. 

Self-care always seemed so fluffy and out of reach for me. There’s no way that going to the spa or having bubble baths solves the real challenges real people face. I love Pooja’s book because it looks at the systemic issues while making self-care real and practical.

I know I need to take care of myself. I’ve heard all the stuff about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else, and my response has always been “yeahhhh, but.” My biggest takeaway from the book? Boundaries are not co-created.

So many books on negotiation and communication basically say, “Imitate me!” And then, if the author’s advice doesn’t work for you, you must be the problem. Damali’s book and approach are the ones I wish I had existed when I was at Harvard Law School and in the years after when I was teaching well-regarded negotiation frameworks but feeling like something was missing.

Reading Damali’s observation that what makes you different might just become your superpower was the “finally!” moment I’d been waiting for. Instead of telling you to be more like someone else, Damali models and lays out a way for you to be most effective—by being yourself. 

This is the book that changed my world. I’d never felt like I really fit in at work or, frankly, in many of the communities that I lived in. As much as I contorted myself or took people’s feedback, something always felt off. I worked hard. I learned to talk like the successful leaders around me. I played by the rules. But I was still always second string. I thought I was the problem.

From the first time I came across this title to reading it through with tears in my eyes—it finally clicked. All along, it wasn’t because I wasn’t smart, kind, hard-working, thoughtful, or likable enough. It was that the workplaces I was in all centered on Whiteness, to the detriment of everyone who wasn’t White. 

An amazing story of a little boy that lives and enjoys life as any other. Once discovered that he has hearing issues, and receives a hearing aid, he can enjoy life even more. A story that inspires us to be considerate of everyone as disabilities are not always visible.

The pandemic ended Deaf bowling and morning breakfasts with Deaf friends. Having more to learn about the culture is why I read Deaf Culture Our Way: Anecdotes from the Deaf Community. Many of the stories recalled things that happened to me since becoming deaf.

Like many deaf people, I feel the dashboard of my car to make sure it has started. At noisy family gatherings I remove my hearing aids for blessed silence. I also capitalize on my deafness when visiting my brother in Atlanta. Before boarding a plane, I let the gatekeeper know I’m deaf and she always lets me on first. (Deafness has its perks.)

If you have a deaf relative, friend, or just interested in Deaf Culture, or learning ASL, read Deaf Culture Our Way: Anecdotes from the Deaf Community. It’s an eye-opener.

Holston, a journalist and musician, went to bed one night and woke up the next morning virtually completely deaf.

His book is a fascinating account of how he clawed his way back to the hearing world through various misdiagnoses, a failed cochlear implant, and finally, after extensive rehabilitative therapy, a successful cochlear implant. I learned so much about the pros and cons and risks of cochlear implants, and how they have improved greatly over the years.

I loved the way he communicates his profound frustrations and fears through this painful process with a self-deprecating humor that makes the book, despite its serious subject matter, an entertaining as well as educational read.

I was lucky to get the opportunity to read an advance copy of Dr. Kerschbaum's latest monograph, Signs of Disability (in the press and available in both print and open access in Fall 2022). The book focuses on the signs of disability we can recognize everywhere around us: yellow diamond-shaped “deaf person in area” road signs, that wheelchair parking icon, the telltale shapes of hearing aids, or white-tipped canes sweeping across footpaths. But even though the signs are ubiquitous, Kerschbaum argues that disability may still not be perceived as anything but a token or an apparition. This engaging, accessible book builds on Kerschbaum’s already-award-winning scholarship on difference and discourse, constructing new research methods and approaches, but also building community on these pages. Drawing on a set of thirty-three research interviews, as well as written narratives by disabled people, this book builds a new system of signs and significance for disability.… show more.

Without my glasses, I’m functionally blind. Without his hearing aids, my husband struggles to hear. We shouldn’t work as a couple. Or are our limitations our strengths?

In Kaye’s book, Patrick Stanford is considered by his rotating crew of housecleaners to be an unreasonable client. Until Jake Manning is hired, no one realizes that Patrick as a blind man needs his house to be kept in strict order or he harms himself just walking from room to room.

Although Patrick has a PhD while Jake has barely a high school diploma, what matters is how they understand each other’s needs and work to answer them.

(An aside: Besides, how could I pass up a book in which Pat (my name) and Jake (my husband’s name) fall in love? I couldn’t!)

Carrington’s surrealist masterpiece is a bit lighter than her other well-known novel, Down Below.

She tells the tale of someone not often seen, much less celebrated, in literature - the crone. At age 92, Marion Leatherby is given the gift of a hearing trumpet by her dear friend Carmella. It is only then she can hear that her family is planning on sending her to an institution.

Carrington’s fondness for the tarot (she even painted her own deck) can be found in the archetypal characters Leatherby encounters at the institution including the Abbess, the Snow Queen, and the Queen Bee among others.