The best books about asexuality

2 authors have picked their favorite books about asexuality and why they recommend each book.

Soon, you will be able to filter by genre, age group, and more. Sign up here to follow our story as we build a better way to explore books.

Shepherd is reader supported. When you buy through links on our website, we may earn an affiliate commission (learn more).

Some Kind of Love

By Jack Dickson,

Book cover of Some Kind of Love

This final book in the Jas Anderson trilogy sees Jas investigating a murder and a case of police corruption, but there is so much more: sectarian rivalry, harsh city life, a grieving mother, a revengeful wife, suffering children, and my two favourite gay protagonists, Jas himself and the ever-unstable Stevie. There’s a lot of testosterone on show. Explicit sex abounds, but it is never included for effect. It’s born of need and, sometimes, love. It never repels me. The conversation is in Glasgow dialect. Please don’t let that deter you: this story is powerful. Last pages count, and Some Kind of Love has a perfect ending.


Who am I?

I chose the ‘Best’ title with trepidation: there are many sorts of aces and reading tastes will differ. I’m a cis-gender female, sex averse, verging on sex-repulsed. So, why M/M? Firstly, because reading about other females is too much like being involved myself. Secondly, because I’m het-romantic so I like my MCs to be male. And sex? I can take sex on the page as long as it isn’t gratuitous; it must be meaningful. I’ve chosen five very different books, but they all have gay protagonists and they meet my ace-based needs. In case it’s an issue, I’ve commented on the flame count.   


I wrote...

A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

By Jude Tresswell,

Book cover of A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

What is my book about?

A story that draws on my experience of parental suicide, ancestry testing, and ace/non-ace relationships. 

The County Durham Quad are Mike, Ross, Raith, and Phil, four gay, polyamorous men who live in North East England. They solve crimes, aided by their friend, Nick, who is asexual and an ex-detective. In this tale, Phil is dismayed to learn that he has an eighteen-year-old son, Lewis, conceived through sperm donation. The man that Lewis has always called ‘Dad’ has died. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. The investigation uncovers armed robbery, industrial espionage, and the truth, but success is costly. Feelings of jealousy, anger, regret, and fears of abandonment must all be faced up to and dealt with.

The Front Runner

By Patricia Nell Warren,

Book cover of The Front Runner

A tale of three American athletes and their coach, all gay, and told from the POV of the coach. Included because, to me, it is a piece of queer fiction history. It was published in the seventies pre the nationwide legalisation of gay sex in the United States. Gay friends have told me how important it was for them to read The Front Runner back then. It’s all about the validation that arises from seeing people like oneself in print, as aces know. There’s nothing on the page to worry aces. The only worrying thing is that sportspeople still have homophobia to contend with.


Who am I?

I chose the ‘Best’ title with trepidation: there are many sorts of aces and reading tastes will differ. I’m a cis-gender female, sex averse, verging on sex-repulsed. So, why M/M? Firstly, because reading about other females is too much like being involved myself. Secondly, because I’m het-romantic so I like my MCs to be male. And sex? I can take sex on the page as long as it isn’t gratuitous; it must be meaningful. I’ve chosen five very different books, but they all have gay protagonists and they meet my ace-based needs. In case it’s an issue, I’ve commented on the flame count.   


I wrote...

A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

By Jude Tresswell,

Book cover of A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

What is my book about?

A story that draws on my experience of parental suicide, ancestry testing, and ace/non-ace relationships. 

The County Durham Quad are Mike, Ross, Raith, and Phil, four gay, polyamorous men who live in North East England. They solve crimes, aided by their friend, Nick, who is asexual and an ex-detective. In this tale, Phil is dismayed to learn that he has an eighteen-year-old son, Lewis, conceived through sperm donation. The man that Lewis has always called ‘Dad’ has died. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. The investigation uncovers armed robbery, industrial espionage, and the truth, but success is costly. Feelings of jealousy, anger, regret, and fears of abandonment must all be faced up to and dealt with.

Upside Down

By N.R. Walker,

Book cover of Upside Down

Many asexual romances tend to be written in a harmful way because they are often written by allosexual authors who do not do enough research to understand asexuality. Not this book, though. And while some asexual people can and do enjoy sex, I prefer a sexless, sweet romance that focuses on the emotional development and deep human connection, that this one offers. I understand not every reader is a fan of the MC because of his personality, but I tend to be pretty open to different kinds of personalities (within reason).


Who am I?

I'm Kieran Frank, author of sexless romances. I write books with asexual characters because they're underrepresented. I write them with positive representation to avoid harmful stereotypes, and I highlight the nuances of a-spec people without sounding too preachy. I don't claim to be an expert in asexuality, but I'm passionate about writing asexual themes because it's what I want to see more of in fiction. Men are often expected to enjoy sex, especially at a younger age. I can personally relate to the harmful pressure, which is another reason I write asexual books. It can help combat toxic views that societies have instilled in many people.


I wrote...

Squishy Crushy Something

By Kieran Frank,

Book cover of Squishy Crushy Something

What is my book about?

Jayden never expected to develop a squish on a boy, never mind a crush. It started with Kail: looks, popularity, and awesomeness. But three years later, Jayden’s squish on Kail has grown into a crush, leading Jayden to make risky decisions. But Jayden used to be friends with nerdy Ollie before Ollie got too religious, driving Jayden away. Now, Ollie is back, and he seems much more open-minded—and much more attractive. Jayden can’t help but develop a squish. But could it turn into a crush?

Jayden is caught between two squishy crushes—the boy he knows is toxic, and the potential crush that could make or break a friendship. The right choice could bring him happiness, but the wrong choice could cost him everything.

How to Be Ace

By Rebecca Burgess,

Book cover of How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual

There are very few books - let alone graphic books - out there covering asexuality. This comic strikes a great balance between informing the reader about asexuality, and challenging many of the myths that still persist around it, as well as telling Rebecca’s own story of coming to understand her ace experience.

How to be ace is a great, accessible, engaging read for anyone on the ace or aro spectrum themselves. It’s also a very helpful book for everyone to get a better sense of the diversity of a/sexual experience.


Who am I?

I’m a queer writer who is passionate about getting good awareness of gender, sexuality, relationships and mental health out there into the world. I create comics, zines, blog posts, and self-help style books to try to reach as wide an audience as possible, bringing together the work of activists, scholars, therapists, and creators - and drawing on a diverse range of knowledge and experiences - in the hope of helping us all understand ourselves and our world better.


I wrote...

Sexuality: A Graphic Guide

By Meg-John Barker, Jules Scheele (illustrator),

Book cover of Sexuality: A Graphic Guide

What is my book about?

Sex and sexuality can seem like a house of horrors, full of monsters and potential pitfalls. We often live with fear, shame, and frustration when it comes to our own sexuality, and with judgement when it comes to others’. Sex advice manuals, debates over sex work, and stories of sexual “dysfunction” only add to our anxiety. With compassion, humour, erudition, and a touch of the erotic, Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele shine a light through the darkness and unmask the monsters.

The Cricketer's Arms

By Garrick Jones,

Book cover of The Cricketer's Arms: A Clyde Smith Mystery

Another crime story. It’s a lengthy tale that, because so many men and partnerships are involved, made me work hard, but the intriguing plot is character-driven, which I like. The setting is fifties Australia. I’m English and I admit that I tend to forget about the huge part played in the Second World War by Australian, New Zealand, and Canadian troops, aka ANZAC. What links Jones’ gay protagonists is their military background. I felt that I learnt something and that pleased me. Nothing on the page to worry aces.


Who am I?

I chose the ‘Best’ title with trepidation: there are many sorts of aces and reading tastes will differ. I’m a cis-gender female, sex averse, verging on sex-repulsed. So, why M/M? Firstly, because reading about other females is too much like being involved myself. Secondly, because I’m het-romantic so I like my MCs to be male. And sex? I can take sex on the page as long as it isn’t gratuitous; it must be meaningful. I’ve chosen five very different books, but they all have gay protagonists and they meet my ace-based needs. In case it’s an issue, I’ve commented on the flame count.   


I wrote...

A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

By Jude Tresswell,

Book cover of A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

What is my book about?

A story that draws on my experience of parental suicide, ancestry testing, and ace/non-ace relationships. 

The County Durham Quad are Mike, Ross, Raith, and Phil, four gay, polyamorous men who live in North East England. They solve crimes, aided by their friend, Nick, who is asexual and an ex-detective. In this tale, Phil is dismayed to learn that he has an eighteen-year-old son, Lewis, conceived through sperm donation. The man that Lewis has always called ‘Dad’ has died. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. The investigation uncovers armed robbery, industrial espionage, and the truth, but success is costly. Feelings of jealousy, anger, regret, and fears of abandonment must all be faced up to and dealt with.

How to Be a Movie Star

By TJ Klune,

Book cover of How to Be a Movie Star

Finally, a story that’s M/M and has an asexual character. It isn’t easy to write ace M/M protagonists. For obvious reasons, some of the tropes are excluded. However, TJ Klune gets around this, perhaps because the man who wants to be a movie star, Josiah (Josy) Erickson, is probably demisexual and demiromantic. That is, sex and romance aren’t impossible for Josy, but he needs a lengthy emotional connection with another man before he desires either. The story is funny, charming, touching, and validates people who don’t see enough of themselves in print. 


Who am I?

I chose the ‘Best’ title with trepidation: there are many sorts of aces and reading tastes will differ. I’m a cis-gender female, sex averse, verging on sex-repulsed. So, why M/M? Firstly, because reading about other females is too much like being involved myself. Secondly, because I’m het-romantic so I like my MCs to be male. And sex? I can take sex on the page as long as it isn’t gratuitous; it must be meaningful. I’ve chosen five very different books, but they all have gay protagonists and they meet my ace-based needs. In case it’s an issue, I’ve commented on the flame count.   


I wrote...

A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

By Jude Tresswell,

Book cover of A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

What is my book about?

A story that draws on my experience of parental suicide, ancestry testing, and ace/non-ace relationships. 

The County Durham Quad are Mike, Ross, Raith, and Phil, four gay, polyamorous men who live in North East England. They solve crimes, aided by their friend, Nick, who is asexual and an ex-detective. In this tale, Phil is dismayed to learn that he has an eighteen-year-old son, Lewis, conceived through sperm donation. The man that Lewis has always called ‘Dad’ has died. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. The investigation uncovers armed robbery, industrial espionage, and the truth, but success is costly. Feelings of jealousy, anger, regret, and fears of abandonment must all be faced up to and dealt with.

Let's Talk About Love

By Claire Kann,

Book cover of Let's Talk About Love

Asexual BIPOC are severely underrepresented, let alone asexual people in general. I always enjoy reading about characters who are asexual, and because I'm a BIPOC myself, this book is especially refreshing. It taught me that no matter how others feel about my sexuality, there is nothing wrong with me, and finding love doesn't have to be as impossible as our hopeless minds occasionally tell us. The book also made me feel at home, even if my life is different from others' lives. It helps my own book by offering more queer representation in a predominantly heteronormative society, especially asexuality.


Who am I?

I'm Kieran Frank, author of sexless romances. I write books with asexual characters because they're underrepresented. I write them with positive representation to avoid harmful stereotypes, and I highlight the nuances of a-spec people without sounding too preachy. I don't claim to be an expert in asexuality, but I'm passionate about writing asexual themes because it's what I want to see more of in fiction. Men are often expected to enjoy sex, especially at a younger age. I can personally relate to the harmful pressure, which is another reason I write asexual books. It can help combat toxic views that societies have instilled in many people.


I wrote...

Squishy Crushy Something

By Kieran Frank,

Book cover of Squishy Crushy Something

What is my book about?

Jayden never expected to develop a squish on a boy, never mind a crush. It started with Kail: looks, popularity, and awesomeness. But three years later, Jayden’s squish on Kail has grown into a crush, leading Jayden to make risky decisions. But Jayden used to be friends with nerdy Ollie before Ollie got too religious, driving Jayden away. Now, Ollie is back, and he seems much more open-minded—and much more attractive. Jayden can’t help but develop a squish. But could it turn into a crush?

Jayden is caught between two squishy crushes—the boy he knows is toxic, and the potential crush that could make or break a friendship. The right choice could bring him happiness, but the wrong choice could cost him everything.

Aces

By Kathryn Burns,

Book cover of Aces

When a book has positive asexual representation, it is like a rare gem. That is how many poorly written ace books there are, and I am not referring to writing styles when I say "poorly written." Even better is when the book offers plenty of diversity, like this one does. We live in a world full of different kinds of people, so it's refreshing to experience that in books. And the romance here is very sweet and honest, which helps show that sexless love can be just as valid as the sexual kind.

This book is not currently available.


Who am I?

I'm Kieran Frank, author of sexless romances. I write books with asexual characters because they're underrepresented. I write them with positive representation to avoid harmful stereotypes, and I highlight the nuances of a-spec people without sounding too preachy. I don't claim to be an expert in asexuality, but I'm passionate about writing asexual themes because it's what I want to see more of in fiction. Men are often expected to enjoy sex, especially at a younger age. I can personally relate to the harmful pressure, which is another reason I write asexual books. It can help combat toxic views that societies have instilled in many people.


I wrote...

Squishy Crushy Something

By Kieran Frank,

Book cover of Squishy Crushy Something

What is my book about?

Jayden never expected to develop a squish on a boy, never mind a crush. It started with Kail: looks, popularity, and awesomeness. But three years later, Jayden’s squish on Kail has grown into a crush, leading Jayden to make risky decisions. But Jayden used to be friends with nerdy Ollie before Ollie got too religious, driving Jayden away. Now, Ollie is back, and he seems much more open-minded—and much more attractive. Jayden can’t help but develop a squish. But could it turn into a crush?

Jayden is caught between two squishy crushes—the boy he knows is toxic, and the potential crush that could make or break a friendship. The right choice could bring him happiness, but the wrong choice could cost him everything.

Gender Queer

By Maia Kobabe,

Book cover of Gender Queer: A Memoir

Loved this—it was intimate and thought-provoking, a true look inside another person's coming of age. If you took Skylar Kergil's Before I Had the Words and mixed it with Alison Bechdel's Fun Home, you’d have an idea of what this graphic memoir is like. It perfectly limns the mind of someone's journey of self-discovery, someone who’s non-binary and (possibly) asexual. Kobabe writes (and draws) with honesty, humor, and heart, not trying to speak for all nb/ace people, but just eir own experience as thoughtfully as possible. Texas wanted to ban this book— it’s a testament to how truthful and potent it is.


Who am I?

I’m a gay author, father, and voice actor living in Los Angeles. When I started writing All Kinds of Other, there was very little literature centering trans characters in YA fiction, and virtually none about trans masculine characters. Trans teens have to face a lot of challenges—in school, at home, even from the government that is supposed to protect them. It’s hard enough to just be a teenager, let alone face such discrimination. I wanted to write something that would reflect them and affirm their right to live and love, to be. Happily, since that time, there have been a number of books for teens that center trans characters, and I’m happy to include some of them here.


I wrote...

All Kinds of Other

By James Sie,

Book cover of All Kinds of Other

What is my book about?

Two boys are starting over at a new high school. Jules is still figuring out what it means to be gay and just how out he wants to be. Jack is reeling from a fall-out with his best friend, and isn’t ready to let anyone else in just yet. The two boys meet, and the sparks are undeniable.

But then a video links Jack to a pair of popular transgender vloggers, and the revelations about Jack’s past thrust both Jack and Jules into the spotlight they’d tried to avoid. Suddenly they have a choice to make — between lying low, where it’s easier, or following their hearts.

Pictures of Perfection

By Reginald Hill,

Book cover of Pictures of Perfection

I very much doubt that Reginald Hill intended Pictures of Perfection to appear on a Best M/M list! It’s a quintessentially English tale with a backdrop of class-based snobbery and the threat to rural life from development. It’s also the sole book in Hill’s Dalziel and Pascoe mystery series wherein Hill’s gay detective sergeant, Edgar Wield, takes centre stage. Wield finds more than a missing policeman when he’s sent to the village of Enscombe! Nothing to worry even the most sex-repulsed asexual here although, with hindsight, these stories can seem problematic in other ways: Dalziel is so non-woke. However, it was being a fan of Wield and Hill’s books that got me writing my own gay mysteries, so I’m ever grateful.


Who am I?

I chose the ‘Best’ title with trepidation: there are many sorts of aces and reading tastes will differ. I’m a cis-gender female, sex averse, verging on sex-repulsed. So, why M/M? Firstly, because reading about other females is too much like being involved myself. Secondly, because I’m het-romantic so I like my MCs to be male. And sex? I can take sex on the page as long as it isn’t gratuitous; it must be meaningful. I’ve chosen five very different books, but they all have gay protagonists and they meet my ace-based needs. In case it’s an issue, I’ve commented on the flame count.   


I wrote...

A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

By Jude Tresswell,

Book cover of A Right To Know (County Durham Quad)

What is my book about?

A story that draws on my experience of parental suicide, ancestry testing, and ace/non-ace relationships. 

The County Durham Quad are Mike, Ross, Raith, and Phil, four gay, polyamorous men who live in North East England. They solve crimes, aided by their friend, Nick, who is asexual and an ex-detective. In this tale, Phil is dismayed to learn that he has an eighteen-year-old son, Lewis, conceived through sperm donation. The man that Lewis has always called ‘Dad’ has died. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. The investigation uncovers armed robbery, industrial espionage, and the truth, but success is costly. Feelings of jealousy, anger, regret, and fears of abandonment must all be faced up to and dealt with.

Or, view all 11 books about asexuality

New book lists related to asexuality

All book lists related to asexuality

Bookshelves related to asexuality