100 books like No!

Many of us tend to focus on the child— the child has tantrums, therefore the child has the problem. It‘s important for me to include this book on the list because adults play an unparalleled role in modeling emotional regulation for kids. We need to remind ourselves that how we respond can make the difference between resolving the situation OR making it worse. This book is an eye-opener and can help grown-ups relate to kids in better ways. It’s about connection before correction, because a dysregulated child (or adult, for that matter), cannot think straight and will not be able to act rationally. The teaching moments can come after we have calmed the storm, always coming from a place of love and understanding.

You won’t normally find this in a list of books about feelings. It’s not about emotions, but it will give you all the feels! I had to include it because now that my son is older and can grasp the meaning of this book (he’s 6 years old), it has helped us avert some major meltdowns. When my son is acting up and I’m at my wit's end, I take deep breaths and whisper some lines from the book: “I love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” The first time I did this, my son’s anger suddenly melted away. He stopped his tantrum, hugged me, and told me how much he loves me. I don’t want to overuse it, so I’m saving it for when all else fails!

If you have a toddler, I’m sure that tantrums are a normal part of your life! This book is great for kids up to 3 years old, and helped my son calm down at that age. The words and illustrations are bright and bold, yet simple enough for little kids to relate to. It’s a short book and the simplicity makes it effective. My son saw himself as the little monkey! When I could sense a tantrum brewing, I’d take out the book and read it with him. For a time, he would ask me to read the book with him whenever he felt upset. 

“Count the spots from one to four. TAP, TAP, TAP, and TAP once more. Now fill your lungs with peaceful air, and coat your spots with love and care.”

I love the simple concept of how to calm down the anger spot. We tried the tapping technique and it helped us be more mindful of our body and breathing. It only worked for a short while for my son, but that’s how it goes! We just need to keep finding new techniques, because every child is different. Try to check if it will suit your child, because the Little Spot is a teacher who explains a lot of important concepts, and it may be hard to hold some kids’ attention if they are looking for a story.

This is a slightly different take on my list with a more practical teaching lesson. I have had so many children come up to Chaco and pull his hair or stick their hands in his mouth without permission. Luckily there haven’t been any injuries, but what if it was another dog that wasn’t so well behaved? It's important to train your children how to behave around dogs from an early age.

Sit. Stay. Love. Life Lessons from a Doggie is a beautiful book packed full of life lessons. This book is a great way to instill good behaviors in your children from a young age using easy-to-understand concepts and rhyming that makes the book a ton of fun to read! 

This book is a mix of science and cat anecdotes and easy to read.

We cat lovers all want to make our cats happier and if we don’t stay up to date, we won’t be the best owners we can be. I chose this book because I believe it is important for all cat lovers to increase their knowledge.

The thing I love about the subject of this book is that it is visible all around me. The great yearly drama of the nesting season is the most exciting part of watching birds. This is where the good stuff happens: song and courtship, battles over territory, the miracle of nest construction, the cuteness of babies, and the development of monogamy. 

Heinrich’s book opened my eyes to this story. He merges his deep scientific knowledge with personal observation, making that broader understanding applicable to what I can observe myself. He explores the different ways birds have of living their lives, constantly asking how we can explain those patterns not as random assemblages of behaviors but as comprehensible evolutionary strategies. He makes birds make sense.

Horses are central to human history, but they have a history of their own. Budiansky explores equine history using biological science, animal behavior, and evolutionary history. How did horses evolve? How did horses and humans come together to co-evolve? Why do horses and humans get along so well? What are horses like? How do horses do what they do? After setting horses in historical context Budiansky takes up issues of communication, social behaviors, intelligence, the senses, the mechanics of movement, and the production of power and speed. This book shows that horses are not magical or mystical creatures, but serious fellow beings who have co-evolved with us through biology and history.

Unlike the books I’ve recommended above, Citizens of the Sea is packed with gorgeous four-color photographs by some of the world’s top underwater photographers. The close-ups are downright amazing. National Geographic made a brilliant call in having Nancy Knowlton write the text. Not only is she a renowned coral reef biologist and the former Sant Chair for Marine Science at the Smithsonian National Museum for Natural History, she also writes so lucidly and engagingly that even her articles for peer-reviewed journals make engrossing reading.