Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a developmental psychologist and former professor of education. My life’s work and 10 books have focused on helping families and schools foster good character in kids. Educating for Character: How Our Schools Can Teach Respect and Responsibility is credited with helping launch the national character education movement. My first book for parents, Raising Good Children, described how to guide kids through the stages of moral development from birth through adulthood. My focus these days is kindness and its supporting virtues. My wife Judith and I have two grown sons and 15 grandchildren, and with William Boudreau, MD, co-authored Sex, Love, and You: Making the Right Decision, a book for teens.


I wrote

How to Raise Kind Kids: And Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain

By Thomas Lickona,

Book cover of How to Raise Kind Kids: And Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain

What is my book about?

The big idea of my book is to try to create an intentional family culture based on our deepest beliefs…

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times

Thomas Lickona Why did I love this book?

Bill Doherty is an astute psychologist and master storyteller who draws on a great store of examples and anecdotes from his work as a family therapist and director of the University of Minnesota’s Marriage and Family Therapy Program. What he sees most often missing in modern parents is not love, but the confident exercise of authority. His short book is an excellent tutorial on how to practice that. He’s right to emphasize it: At all developmental levels, studies find that an “authoritative” (not authoritarian) style of parenting is the one most often associated with kids’ becoming confident, respectful, and responsible persons. This parenting style values both obedience to adult requirements and independence in children, explains the reasons behind rules, allows give and take, but doesn’t permit kids to treat parents as peers.

Doherty’s chapter on 11 guidelines for giving and getting respect is a gem. He also offers good advice for single parents and blended families and a thoughtful discussion of the benefits of belonging to a religious community, especially one that gets kids involved in service. Page for page, no parenting book I know packs in more practical wisdom in an often entertaining way.

By William J. Doherty,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Take Back Your Kids as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Childhood may be changing, but todays cable-ready, all-too-worldly kids are still just kids and should be treated that way. William J. Doherty does not want to recreate childhood as it was in simpler times, he merely wants to help parents adapt to the changes and create an even better future. Dohertys new book, Take Back Your Kids, offers a blueprint to do just that.

Too often, Doherty believes, parents merely provide services and opportunities for children, who in turn consider themselves "consumers of parental services." Hierarchy has diminished. Parents regularly make sacrifices in time and money they perceive to benefit…


Book cover of Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers

Thomas Lickona Why did I love this book?

Reading this book is like taking a course from a wonderful teacher who opens your eyes to how much more there is to a subject than you ever imagined. David Isaacs was director of the School of Education at the University of Navarre, has published ten books and is the father of six children. This enduring classic, originally published in Spanish in 1976 but available in English, provides a clear, concise chapter on the meaning and importance of each of 24 teachable virtues: good judgment, orderliness, respect, responsibility, obedience to legitimate authority and rules, industriousness, moderation, modesty, justice, generosity, patience, friendship, and more.

Isaacs helpfully groups these virtues into four developmental periods (early and middle childhood, early and late adolescence) and tells us which virtues to emphasize during each period based on the characteristics of children at that age. His vision of virtues is also informed by his Catholic view of the human person (“We owe respect to every human being as a child of God”). But as he makes clear, the universal and practical value of these “human virtues” transcends differences in religious belief.

By David Isaacs,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Character Building as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In this book, author David Isaacs, an educationalist and parent, offers ideas and suggestions on how parents and teachers can help children's all-round development. The emphasis is on character building, approached from the viewpoint of moral habits. Professor Isaacs takes twenty-four virtues and discusses how the child - at different ages - can be encouraged to be obedient, industrious, sincere, prudent, generous, optimistic, sociable, and so on. There is no book on child development quite like this.


Book cover of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

Thomas Lickona Why did I love this book?

This thought-provoking book by Bill Stixrud (a clinical neuropsychologist) and Ned Johnson (an SAT tutor) pops up on other “best books” lists on parenting. It deserves to be there. But it’s not, as the title might suggest, a prescription for “hands-off” parenting. On the contrary, it shows us how to actively help our kids become better decision-makers by giving them lots of guided practice in making decisions they’re capable of handling, such as: “Should I take on the challenge of moving to the next grade in school, or spend another year learning the important skills I didn’t learn very well this year?” (but definitely not decisions where, for example, danger is involved—like going to an unsupervised party).

In short, raising a “self-driven” child means doing more of a different kind of parenting—in a collaborative, mutually respectful relationship that’s more rewarding for both parent and child. It means looking for opportunities to be a consultant who asks questions like, “What’s your Plan B if Plan A doesn’t work out?” In this way we become better at helping our children develop what the ancient Greeks considered the most important virtue: good judgment. That’s a gift that lasts a lifetime.

By William Stixrud, Ned Johnson,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Self-Driven Child as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"Instead of trusting kids with choices . . . many parents insist on micromanaging everything from homework to friendships. For these parents, Stixrud and Johnson have a simple message: Stop." -NPR

"This humane, thoughtful book turns the latest brain science into valuable practical advice for parents." -Paul Tough, New York Times bestselling author of How Children Succeed

A few years ago, Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson started noticing the same problem from different angles: Even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking motivation. Many complained they had no control over their lives. Some stumbled in high school…


Book cover of Books That Build Character: A Guide to Teaching Your Child Moral Values Through Stories

Thomas Lickona Why did I love this book?

Good books can be one of a parent’s best allies in teaching virtue. This guide is a gold mine of more than 300 high-quality fiction and non-fiction books that have strong character themes. There are recommendations for young, middle, and older readers. Each book is described in a full paragraph with detail rich enough to give us a clear idea of its content and value. Books like these can contribute to children’s character development in many ways: by taking them into worlds beyond their own; enabling them to learn vicariously from the good and bad choices of the characters they encounter; helping them grow in understanding of people different from themselves; and perhaps inspiring them to want to be more like a character who is wiser or kinder or braver.

Reading together can become a treasured “connective ritual” for parents and children. It was in our family. And the more kids read good books—with us or on their own—the more they’ll be immersed in goodness and attracted to it. The authors also recommend 20 outstanding movies for family viewing and discussion. William Kilpatrick, a Boston College professor of education, wrote Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong. Gregory and Suzanne Wolfe are creators of The Golden Key, an award-winning children’s book catalogue.

By William Kilpatrick, Gregory Wolfe, Suzanne Wolfe

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Books That Build Character as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Here is a family guide to classic novels, contemporary fiction, myths and legends, science fiction and fantasy, folktales, Bible stories, picture books, biographies, holiday stories, and many other books that celebrate virtues and values.
There are more than 300 titles to choose from, each featuring a dramatic story and memorable characters who explore moral ground and the difference between what is right and what is wrong. These books will capture your child's imagination, and conscience as well-whether it is Beauty pondering her promise to Beast, mischievous Max in Where the Wild Things Are, the troubled boys of Lord of the…


Book cover of The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make: A Guide for Teens: Updated for the Digital Age

Thomas Lickona Why did I love this book?

I regularly recommend this terrific book, recently updated for the digital age, to both teens and their parents. Sean Covey is the son of the famous Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Sean is an experienced father, nationally known character educator (creator of The Leader in Me program), and highly talented author in his own right. His book on “the 6 most important decisions” tackles areas of a young person’s life where good decisions can bring big benefits and poor ones can carry a high cost: (1) choosing friends, (2) making the most of school, (3) creating a positive relationship with your parents, (4) building self-confidence, (5) dating and romantic relationships (without sex), and (6) steering clear of drugs, pornography, and other damaging addictions.

Covey’s gift for connecting with young readers combines straight talk, practical tips, humorous cartoon graphics, and hard-to-argue-with wisdom illustrated with true stories from the lives of teens and supported by insights from adolescents around the world. If you and your child can read and talk about this book together, that’s best of all—but even just reading it yourself will help you think about these issues, discuss them with your kids, and give good guidance.

By Sean Covey,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the author of the wildly popular bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens comes the go-to guide that helps teens cope with major challenges they face in their lives-now updated for today's social media age.

In this newly revised edition, Sean Covey helps teens figure out how to approach the six major challenges they face: gaining self-esteem, dealing with their parents, making friends, being wise about sex, coping with substances, and succeeding at school and planning a career.

Covey understands the pain and confusion that teens and their parents experience in the face of these weighty, life-changing, and…


Explore my book 😀

How to Raise Kind Kids: And Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain

By Thomas Lickona,

Book cover of How to Raise Kind Kids: And Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain

What is my book about?

The big idea of my book is to try to create an intentional family culture based on our deepest beliefs and values like kindness and respect—and never give up. Each chapter provides real-life examples of how to do this, such as protecting family together time, talking about things that matter, getting control of screens, disciplining wisely, sitting down as a family to solve problems fairly, and more. Library Journal found the book “chock-full of straightforward tips for creating a home that cultivates empathy.” Kids, of course, are constantly shaping their own character by the choices they make and so share the responsibility for the person they are becoming. Our part as parents is to make the most of the opportunities we have to help them grow in goodness.

Book cover of Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times
Book cover of Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers
Book cover of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

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Not So Little Things

By Kyle Ann Robertson,

Book cover of Not So Little Things

Kyle Ann Robertson Author Of White Picket Fences

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Why am I passionate about this?

Author

Kyle's 3 favorite reads in 2024

What is my book about?

Not So Little Things by Kyle Ann Robertson unravels the meticulously crafted life of Tina, an artist engrossed in the intricate world of historically accurate miniatures. As she dutifully honors her deceased father's desire for her to follow in his artistic and historical footsteps, Tina's controlled existence is shaken by the emergence of long-buried secrets when she takes a commission to build a replica of Jake Martin’s family mansion.

Robertson navigates the delicate balance between Tina's devotion to her father's wishes and the disruptions caused by revelations from the past. The novel beautifully explores the complexity of familial expectations and…

Not So Little Things

By Kyle Ann Robertson,

What is this book about?

Tina Edwards loved her childhood and creating fairy houses, a passion shared with her father, a world-renowned architect. But at nine years old, she found him dead at his desk and is haunted by this memory. Tina's mother abruptly moved away leaving Tina with feelings of abandonment and suspicion. Raised by her loving, wheelchair-bound Aunt Liddy, her father's sister, 33 year old Tina has become a miniature room artist and cherishes the control she has over her life in Northeast Georgia as she works hard to please her beloved dead father's wishes of following in his footsteps in art and…


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