My favorite books for negotiating anything

This has been my all-time favorite basic book on negotiation since someone gave it to me way back in 1982 when I was starting my mediation career. Short, simple, and easy-to-read, it has sold an estimated 15 million copies and totally changed the field of negotiations. It introduced the world to interest-based, win-win negotiations as the better alternative to traditional win-lose positional bargaining, which often leads to dissatisfaction for one or both parties. It contains dozens of tips that anyone can use, from buying a car to getting a raise to settling an international political dispute. The authors have extensive experience and have explained the key principles of interest-based negotiation with numerous examples. For brand new and experienced negotiators and mediators.

This is a follow-up book to the famous Getting to Yes. In Getting Past No, the author addresses the issues of dealing with more difficult people and difficult situations. He spells out a 5-step method with details of how to implement each simple tactic: Don’t React, Don’t Argue, Don’t Reject, Don’t Push, and Don’t Escalate. Of course, each of these chapters has a dozen techniques and principles within it which gives even the least experienced negotiator some good ideas as to how to proceed. He emphasizes the importance of preparation and includes a worksheet to help with that. Experience tells me he’s right!

I live in the world of high conflict and teaching others how to deal with it. So, I create methods and collect other people’s methods to improve my own work, and this is one of the ones that is mentioned a lot. I like the detail of this step-by-step method and the book’s numerous examples (which is when we learn the most). They talk about starting with heart, and really looking at yourself—which is crucial! Avoiding the fool’s choice of speaking up in difficult situations or remaining silent is addressed, so that the reader gains confidence that they can deal with these difficult conversations. As they point out, if you fail at a crucial conversation, it can be devastating. Better to read this book.

I got this book when I was in law school and found it to be filled with insights that I never expected nor got anywhere else. It must be good because it’s on its 8th edition now! However, I should warn you that it’s dense (over 600 pages) and designed for students. But for the reader who wants to become a serious professional negotiator, this is the book I keep referring back to. This is for the person who wants a really deep dive into the subject of negotiations. It covers every aspect from psychology to economics to closing the deal. 

This is honestly one of the smartest books I have ever read about group thinking, negotiating in groups, and avoiding massive group mistakes—which happen around the world every day! The authors give examples from negotiating the names of new household products to understanding group polarization and how to negotiate around it. They break down numerous conflict situations involving groups and give very detailed insights into what is going wrong and what can be done to make things go well. This is a great little book for negotiators, business managers, politicians, and everyday people who want to know how to get what they want in any group negotiations.