I did all the right things to become a corporate lawyer or an academic, but learned those were not for me. What I love is solving problems, with other people. And that is what negotiation is all about. Whether it’s work on a big transaction or trying to stop a civil war, putting a deal together up front, or trying much later to pick up the pieces of a relationship gone wrong, what I most enjoy doing is figuring out what we need to solve for, who has to be involved, and how we are going to get there. These books have helped me get better at doing that.
I wrote...
The Point of the Deal: How to Negotiate When 'Yes' Is Not Enough
By
Danny Ertel,
Mark Gordon
What is my book about?
Everyone negotiates and does deals of one sort or another, with colleagues, business partners, or family. But when you think the point of negotiating is only to get to yes, you can end up with deals literally not worth the paper they are written on. There are some negotiation techniques that can help you close deals. But if you need to work with someone after the handshake, rely on their expertise or good will to create value, or if it’s possible the balance of power may shift after you sign, then you have to do things differently during the negotiation.
This book is about how you negotiate when implementation matters.
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The Books I Picked & Why
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in
By
Roger Fisher,
William Ury,
Bruce Patton
Why this book?
It’s not either/or: You can get a good deal and improve your relationship with the other side, at the same time. I loved Getting to Yes when I first read it in Roger Fisher’s law school class, and I still love it today, because it taught me I could solve difficult problems or deal with difficult people, and do it in a principled way. Whether it is a transaction for a Fortune 500 company, negotiating for a raise, or working on an international boundary dispute, the concepts and tools are the same, and they don’t start by requiring the other side to lose. Whether you are a negotiation expert, or just starting out, start here.
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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
By
Sheila Heen,
Bruce Patton,
Douglas Stone
Why this book?
We all have difficult conversations, both at home and in the workplace. You can try to defer them, you can’t entirely avoid them, but you can definitely do better at them, and this book shows you how. Difficult Conversations cuts to the heart of many conflicts by forcing us to recognize how we add fuel to the fire, even if we didn’t start it. But it doesn’t just lay the problem at your feet and leave you feeling guilty and unsatisfied, it gives you a roadmap to having more productive conversations about hard stuff.
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Dealmaking: The New Strategy of Negotiauctions
By
Guhan Subramanian
Why this book?
Guhan Subramanian, the author of this book is a triple threat: he’s superbly trained as a lawyer and an economist, he’s an experienced dealmaker, and he’s a gifted teacher. This book is the payoff of all three: in it he brings together his extensive experience to help us understand how many complex business deals combine elements of an auction with those of a one-on-one negotiation. Through many examples, he illustrates ways to play the game or change the game, depending on how the rules do or do not help us. As much of a negotiation process-nerd as I fancy myself to be, I learned a lot from reading Negotiauctions.
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The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything
By
Stephen M. R. Covey,
Rebecca R. Merrill
Why this book?
I love this book because I am sucker for structure. When I hear that some critical skill is a “function of judgment, timing, and experience,” or that you have “put in the 10,000 hours” to master it, I rebel. Maybe I’m too impatient, but I immediately want to figure out what good looks like, so I can at least start heading in the right direction. So when Covey brought that kind of thinking to the topic of trust, I was intrigued; and he did not disappoint. Speed of Trust not only makes the case for building trust (which we all need much more of in the world today), but also gives us a set of categories and a framework within which to understand how to build it.
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Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate
By
Roger Fisher,
Daniel Shapiro
Why this book?
I am an emotional person – and a professional negotiator and advisor. What I love about this book is that the authors helped me see how one doesn’t have to detract from the other. All of us make decisions based in part on our emotions; we can’t just banish them from negotiations (or other difficult choices we make). Just like we can negotiate more effectively when we understand the interests underlying someone’s bargaining position, we can deal with emotions more effectively when we understand the core concerns that drive them. Beyond Reason helped me do that, and integrate an appreciation of those concerns into my work.
