Fans pick 100 books like Everything's Trash, But It's Okay

By Phoebe Robinson,

Here are 100 books that Everything's Trash, But It's Okay fans have personally recommended if you like Everything's Trash, But It's Okay. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem

Jess H. Gutierrez Author Of A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking): A Never-Coming-of-Age Story

From my list on admitting that life is messy.

Why am I passionate about this?

One of the best parts of reaching middle age (with all the scrapes and scars of the forty-year trip) is admitting that the mess of life is what makes life pretty damned fun. I’m an expert on little but have a whole lot to say. I love reading stories about people being themselves, figuring out what it means to grow and change, and screwing up along the way. I believe the disaster of admitting I’m a mess has been the journey of a lifetime. We’re all just getting from one point to another in the best way we can—imperfections. I’m here to throw a party for the blips along the way. 

Jess' book list on admitting that life is messy

Jess H. Gutierrez Why did Jess love this book?

As a new inductee to midlife, I was excited to read the funny tales of this book. As I age, I feel like a new member of a club that I didn’t necessarily want to be a part of. I didn’t mean to register or apply, but here I am. The author of this book would certainly commiserate because here she is, too.

We are both navigating what it’s like to be in a body that’s older in years than we feel. Likewise, we understand what it means to have a new generation become the louder voice in the room. Navigating aging is a wild ride, and it’s nice to have bedfellows as messy as me punching tickets for the seat next to me.

If nothing else, we can swap stories about creaking knees and complain about gas prices until we reach our destination. I love the humor and naked…

By Laurie Notaro,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Excuse Me While I Disappear as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife.

Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn't end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair's root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything).

Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting-the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries-Laurie accepts it. And then some. With…


Book cover of Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light: Essays

Jess H. Gutierrez Author Of A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking): A Never-Coming-of-Age Story

From my list on admitting that life is messy.

Why am I passionate about this?

One of the best parts of reaching middle age (with all the scrapes and scars of the forty-year trip) is admitting that the mess of life is what makes life pretty damned fun. I’m an expert on little but have a whole lot to say. I love reading stories about people being themselves, figuring out what it means to grow and change, and screwing up along the way. I believe the disaster of admitting I’m a mess has been the journey of a lifetime. We’re all just getting from one point to another in the best way we can—imperfections. I’m here to throw a party for the blips along the way. 

Jess' book list on admitting that life is messy

Jess H. Gutierrez Why did Jess love this book?

I loved this book so very much because it’s honest, raw, and so funny. I think that most of us can agree that life is both beautiful and brutal. It’s okay to admit that even the best of times can be rife with bullshit. The events leading up to some of my best memories were disastrous. The author gets that and unabashedly tells her embarrassing, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy, tragic stories.

I felt seen and in good company when reading it. Here’s the thing: I relished cackling over the stories of Ellis and her people because they felt familiar—they felt like my people. Ellis is the funny one in her friend group. I am the funny one in mine. I feel she and I could get into some real trouble together. Even better? We could co-write a killer essay in the aftermath. 

By Helen Ellis,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The bestselling author of American Housewife and Southern Lady Code returns with a viciously funny, deeply felt collection of essays on friendship among grown-ass women.

When Helen Ellis and her lifelong friends arrive for a reunion on the Redneck Riviera, they unpack more than their suitcases: stories of husbands and kids; lost parents and lost jobs; powdered onion dip and photographs you have to hold by the edges; dirty jokes and sunscreen with SPF higher than they hair-sprayed their bangs senior year; and a bad mammogram. It's a diagnosis that scares them, but could never break their bond. Because women…


Book cover of Midlife Bites: Anyone Else Falling Apart Or Is It Just Me?

Jess H. Gutierrez Author Of A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking): A Never-Coming-of-Age Story

From my list on admitting that life is messy.

Why am I passionate about this?

One of the best parts of reaching middle age (with all the scrapes and scars of the forty-year trip) is admitting that the mess of life is what makes life pretty damned fun. I’m an expert on little but have a whole lot to say. I love reading stories about people being themselves, figuring out what it means to grow and change, and screwing up along the way. I believe the disaster of admitting I’m a mess has been the journey of a lifetime. We’re all just getting from one point to another in the best way we can—imperfections. I’m here to throw a party for the blips along the way. 

Jess' book list on admitting that life is messy

Jess H. Gutierrez Why did Jess love this book?

Okay, the author of this book is Generation X. Though I am an elder millennial, thereby not allowed in the elite ranks of the generation before me, I absolutely love this book. From the very jump, with a reference to one of my all-time favorite movies, Reality Bites, I was sucked in.

This author readily admits to being a white-hot mess with little hope of ever being a true expert on anything. Same, girl. Same. It is so refreshing to read someone else’s story that feels true to my own. Our situations, circumstances, and specific happenings are so different, but the common thread of sheer messiness runs true through both of our lives.

When I’m running late to school car line, swearing at the punk student driver in front of me, dreading my kid’s piano lessons, I don’t need to read another manual from a have-it-all perfect Pinterest mom.…

By Jen Mann,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Midlife Bites as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat

“I inhaled this book in one sitting; it’s a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another.”—Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books

Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who…


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Book cover of Tap Dancing on Everest: A Young Doctor's Unlikely Adventure

Tap Dancing on Everest By Mimi Zieman,

Tap Dancing on Everest, part coming-of-age memoir, part true-survival adventure story, is about a young medical student, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor raised in N.Y.C., who battles self-doubt to serve as the doctor—and only woman—on a remote Everest climb in Tibet.

The team attempts a new route up…

Book cover of Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life

Jess H. Gutierrez Author Of A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking): A Never-Coming-of-Age Story

From my list on admitting that life is messy.

Why am I passionate about this?

One of the best parts of reaching middle age (with all the scrapes and scars of the forty-year trip) is admitting that the mess of life is what makes life pretty damned fun. I’m an expert on little but have a whole lot to say. I love reading stories about people being themselves, figuring out what it means to grow and change, and screwing up along the way. I believe the disaster of admitting I’m a mess has been the journey of a lifetime. We’re all just getting from one point to another in the best way we can—imperfections. I’m here to throw a party for the blips along the way. 

Jess' book list on admitting that life is messy

Jess H. Gutierrez Why did Jess love this book?

I realize I have said this before (probably in this list), but there are not enough words to describe how much I adore this book. I will die on the hill that has me saying, “Ali Wong is the very best at all things funny.” I am obsessed with the sardonic tone, matter-of-fact truths, and the hilarity throughout the tome written for the comedian’s daughters.

I love how the book covers all the need to know from start to finish about being a woman, being someone you like, being a working mom, and, well, just being. Wong tells it like it is in letters to her girls and, in the process, lets the rest of us know, too. The book is undeniably funny, which is a must for me, but I like that it is also vulnerable in places. I learned lessons, tore up, and felt empowered in equal parts…

By Ali Wong,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Dear Girls as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Heartfelt and hilarious essays from the Emmy and Golden Globe Award–winning actress, star of the Netflix original series Beef, and two-time member of Time’s 100 Most Influential People of the Year list
 
“A collection of letters to her baby girls that are barn-burning reflections on being a working mom, marriage, sex, and more. If you’ve ever wanted to have Ali Wong’s signature voice in your head for 200-plus pages, now’s your chance.”—Glamour

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: Time, Variety, Chicago Tribune, Glamour, New York

In her hit Netflix comedy special Baby Cobra,…


Book cover of So You Want to Talk about Race

Wendy-O Matik Author Of Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships

From my list on to ignite the revolution and smash patriarchy.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a rebellious woman who is passionate about words and the revolutionary force of books, I know the power of stories. Stories are the seeds that give life to your purpose. Stories give you a reason to fight the good fight, care about something bigger than yourself, and want to be a part of social justice and positive change. The daily grind can kick you down, but a good story can remind you that there's still time to rise up, speak truth to power, help others less fortunate, and commit to what you value most. The books that I’m recommending are meant to be your personal guide to what really matters most in life to you.

Wendy-O's book list on to ignite the revolution and smash patriarchy

Wendy-O Matik Why did Wendy-O love this book?

If you seriously care about racial healing, you have to read this book. White people are so damn afraid to say the wrong thing or to offend anyone when it comes to the topic of race, that we end up not saying anything at all. And silence is death to a movement. If you care about Black and Brown lives, then this book will shake you up in a good way, and remind you of the importance of being a good listener to the concerns of people of color. When you listen, you can have empathy. When you have empathy, you can start to be a part of the racial reckoning and healing that’s starting to take place in our nation.

By Ijeoma Oluo,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked So You Want to Talk about Race as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

n So You Want to Talk About Race, editor-at-large of The Establishment Ijeoma Oluo offers a contemporary, accessible take on the racial landscape in America, addressing head-on such issues as privilege, police brutality, intersectionality, micro-aggressions, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the "N" word. Perfectly positioned to bridge the gap between people of color and white Americans struggling with race complexities, Oluo answers the questions readers don't dare ask, and explains the concepts that continue to elude everyday Americans.

Oluo is an exceptional writer with a rare ability to be straightforward, funny, and effective in her coverage of sensitive, hyper-charged…


Book cover of They Didn't See Us Coming: The Hidden History of Feminism in the Nineties

Melissa Estes Blair Author Of Revolutionizing Expectations: Women's Organizations, Feminism, and American Politics, 1965-1980

From my list on U.S. grassroots feminism.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have loved history since I was a girl, visiting my grandparents in Virginia and reading American Girl books. I began to focus on women’s history when I learned in college just how much the women’s movement of the generation before mine had made my life possible. So much changed for American women in the ten years before I was born, and I wanted to know how that happened and how it fit into the broader political changes. That connection, between women making change and the bigger political scene, remains the core of my research. I have a B.A. in history and English from the University of Kentucky, and a Ph.D. in American history from the University of Virginia.

Melissa's book list on U.S. grassroots feminism

Melissa Estes Blair Why did Melissa love this book?

Levenstein’s subtitle says it all: we generally don’t think there was a ‘90s feminism. Her book pairs especially well with the others on this list, because it demonstrates how women of color took the lead in an intersectional feminism that focused on a huge range of issues at the end of the 20th century. It’s also a great read about the role of the early internet in 1990s feminist organizing. If you think social media was the first time computer technology shaped grassroots activism, her chapter on technology alone will blow your mind.

By Lisa Levenstein,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked They Didn't See Us Coming as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

On January 21, 2017, massive demonstrations in Washington DC and sister marches held in over 600 American cities drew crowds of over four million people. Popularly called 'The Women's March,' it became the largest single-day protest in American history. The feminism that shaped the consciousness of millions in 2017 had distinct roots in the 1990s.

In They Didn't See Us Coming, historian Lisa Levenstein argues we have missed much of the past quarter century of the women's movement because the conventional wisdom is that the '90s was the moment when the movement splintered into competing factions. But by showcasing voices…


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Book cover of The Truth About Unringing Phones

The Truth About Unringing Phones By Lara Lillibridge,

When Lara was four years old, her father moved from Rochester, New York, to Anchorage, Alaska, a distance of over 4,000 miles. She spent her childhood chasing after him, flying a quarter of the way around the world to tug at the hem of his jacket.

Now that he is…

Book cover of The Duke Who Didn't

Katherine Grant Author Of The Viscount Without Virtue

From my list on historical romances for intersectional feminists.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a historical romance reader, I’m a sucker for stories about the glamorous aristocracy falling in love. While Regency and Victorian romances have explored feminism for at least the last two decades, the genre often falls short of asking more of itself. Of course the debutante shouldn’t need a man – but while the story liberates her, it doesn’t take any notice of the non-aristocratic,  non-Anglican, non-White, less-abled, and/or non-cishet straight characters around her. I yearned for stories that required my favorite aristocrats to acknowledge, examine, and leverage their privilege. All five of these authors deliver – without forgetting our favorite tropes and genre conventions!

Katherine's book list on historical romances for intersectional feminists

Katherine Grant Why did Katherine love this book?

When I pick up a Courtney Milan historical romance, I know I will be hit in the heart with a story that is as insightful as it is moving.

The only question was which of her books to include in this list!

I chose The Duke Who Didn’t because it explores class, race, and gender roles in the delightful setting of a small town in the English countryside hosting an annual sports festival.

The plot reckons with the aristocrat’s responsibility to his people, the challenges and joys of a working-class community, and the exploitation of non-British identities for profit.

And because it is a Courtney Milan novel, it does so with plenty of clever tropes and swoon-worthy romance!

Book cover of Anarchafeminism

Jesse Cohn Author Of Underground Passages: Anarchist Resistance Culture, 1848-2011

From my list on how might one live an anarchist life.

Why am I passionate about this?

I knew I was an anti-authoritarian before I had words for it, and my education in social justice has been long and slow. I have been researching and writing about anarchism for the better part of three decades, and am now a board member of the Institute for Anarchist Studies. Anarchy is a subject that engages me both at the level of intellectual passion, what lights up my mind, and on a visceral level, in my revulsion at the inequalities and iniquities in this world and my yearning for a fully emancipated way of life.

Jesse's book list on how might one live an anarchist life

Jesse Cohn Why did Jesse love this book?

Bottici is another such friend at first reading, another partisan of the Spinozan current, but one deeply immersed in the feminist thought that Colson regrettably ignores. Hers is a fully intersectional feminism, attending especially to the margins of society, where its freaks and pariahs live. Like Colson, she offers opportunities for difficult thinking that reward us with new vistas, new possibilities for life.

By Chiara Bottici,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Anarchafeminism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

How can we be sure the oppressed do not become oppressors in their turn? How can we create a feminism that doesn't turn into yet another tool for oppression? It has become commonplace to argue that, in order to fight the subjugation of women, we have to unpack the ways different forms of oppression intersect with one another: class, race, gender, sexuality, disability, and ecology, to name only a few. By arguing that there is no single factor, or arche, explaining the oppression of women, Chiara Bottici proposes a radical anarchafeminist philosophy inspired by two major claims: that there is…


Book cover of Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower

Kim Imas Author Of Beast Mom

From my list on women and anger.

Why am I passionate about this?

We talk a lot about the big public events that expanded the #MeToo movement so astronomically, like the election to the US presidency of a man who bragged about assaulting women, and the allegations made against Harvey Weinstein. But I think most American women have other, more personal beefs that originate from their being a woman. I, for one, was shocked at how unnecessarily difficult it was to be a new mother in the US. Other places support this vulnerable group much more than we do here, and living that disparity angered me—like, for example, when my husband exhausted what little parental leave he had available before our twins were even released from the NICU.

Kim's book list on women and anger

Kim Imas Why did Kim love this book?

Cooper details the unique experiences that Black women have when feeling and expressing their anger.

I found this not only an indispensable resource for expanding my understanding of intersectional feminism but also an indispensable examination of the ways that white women like myself exacerbate the challenges faced by Cooper and other Black women.

By Brittney Cooper,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Eloquent Rage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Far too often, Black women's anger has been caricatured into an ugly and destructive force that threatens the civility and social fabric of American democracy. But Cooper shows us that there is more to the story than that. Black women's eloquent rage is what makes Serena Williams such a powerful tennis player. It's what makes Beyonce's girl power anthems resonate so hard. It's what makes Michelle Obama an icon. Eloquent rage keeps us all honest and accountable. It reminds women that they don't have to settle for less. When Cooper learned of her grandmother's eloquent rage about love, sex, and…


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Book cover of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

Who Is a Worthy Mother? By Rebecca Wellington,

I grew up thinking that being adopted didn’t matter. I was wrong. This book is my journey uncovering the significance and true history of adoption practices in America. Now, in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over women’s reproductive rights places…

Book cover of Western Women and Imperialism: Complicity and Resistance

Tracey Jean Boisseau Author Of White Queen: May French-Sheldon and the Imperial Origins of American Feminist Identity

From my list on the history of feminism and imperialism.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a historian of feminism, I have been trying for decades to understand how gender, race, class, and nationality are knotted together in ways that are not always obvious or trackable in our personal experience. The books I recommend here have served as brilliant lanterns for me—not simply pointing out the flawed history of western feminism but instead explaining the complicated effects of whiteness and imperialism in the development of today’s feminist identities, ideologies, and consciousness. For me, these histories offer intersectional keys decoding the map of the world we’ve been dropped into and offering a path leading to a more justly feminist future….I hope they do for you too!

Tracey's book list on the history of feminism and imperialism

Tracey Jean Boisseau Why did Tracey love this book?

A collection of very short but incredibly interesting and illuminating essays, this book inaugurated the field of study we might call “feminism and empire.” Strobel and Chaudhuri gathered up the most important histories written to that date that explained how nineteenth and twentieth-century feminism emerged from colonialist contexts all over the world. Asking the question “what difference does gender make?” each author teases out the importance of gender for colonial travel and politics in Asia, Africa, and the Americas. Reading this book made me want to contribute to that kind of historical understanding of gender, modeling for me what an “intersectional feminist” method of historical investigation might look like.

By Nupur Chaudhuri (editor), Margaret Strobel (editor),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Western Women and Imperialism as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"[Western Women and Imperialism] provides fascinating insights into interactions and attitudes between western and non-western women, mainly in the 19th and early 20th centuries. It is an important contribution to the field of women's studies and (primarily British) imperial history, in that many of the essays explore problems of cross-cultural interaction that have been heretofore ignored." -Nancy Fix Anderson

"A challenging anthology in which a multiplicity of authors sheds new light on the waves of missionaries, 'memsahibs,' nurses-and feminists." -Ms.

". . . a long-overdue engagement with colonial discourse and feminism. . . . excellent essays . . ." -The…


Book cover of Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem
Book cover of Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light: Essays
Book cover of Midlife Bites: Anyone Else Falling Apart Or Is It Just Me?

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