The best books that admit that life is messy (and that messy is okay)

I loved this book so very much because it’s honest, raw, and so funny. I think that most of us can agree that life is both beautiful and brutal. It’s okay to admit that even the best of times can be rife with bullshit. The events leading up to some of my best memories were disastrous. The author gets that and unabashedly tells her embarrassing, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy, tragic stories.

I felt seen and in good company when reading it. Here’s the thing: I relished cackling over the stories of Ellis and her people because they felt familiar—they felt like my people. Ellis is the funny one in her friend group. I am the funny one in mine. I feel she and I could get into some real trouble together. Even better? We could co-write a killer essay in the aftermath. 

Reading this book was like curling up on my best friend’s sofa, a cheap glass of wine in hand, ratty sweatpants snugged around my legs, and an old episode of Sex and the City playing in the background. The overall tone feels like a reel from my head, and I have had to remind myself so often that the author isn’t a close friend.

I love being so engrossed and connected to a work that I feel like I know the main players personally. Realizing that other people think, obsess, and critique how I do was reassuring in more ways than I can describe. I love the conversational tone of this book because it’s light and easy in the best way possible.

Okay, the author of this book is Generation X. Though I am an elder millennial, thereby not allowed in the elite ranks of the generation before me, I absolutely love this book. From the very jump, with a reference to one of my all-time favorite movies, Reality Bites, I was sucked in.

This author readily admits to being a white-hot mess with little hope of ever being a true expert on anything. Same, girl. Same. It is so refreshing to read someone else’s story that feels true to my own. Our situations, circumstances, and specific happenings are so different, but the common thread of sheer messiness runs true through both of our lives.

When I’m running late to school car line, swearing at the punk student driver in front of me, dreading my kid’s piano lessons, I don’t need to read another manual from a have-it-all perfect Pinterest mom. I want a diatribe from a woman like Mann, who is real about the rough patches. 

I realize I have said this before (probably in this list), but there are not enough words to describe how much I adore this book. I will die on the hill that has me saying, “Ali Wong is the very best at all things funny.” I am obsessed with the sardonic tone, matter-of-fact truths, and the hilarity throughout the tome written for the comedian’s daughters.

I love how the book covers all the need to know from start to finish about being a woman, being someone you like, being a working mom, and, well, just being. Wong tells it like it is in letters to her girls and, in the process, lets the rest of us know, too. The book is undeniably funny, which is a must for me, but I like that it is also vulnerable in places. I learned lessons, tore up, and felt empowered in equal parts while reading.

This one had me running to see what else the comedian has written and fervently wishing that someday she would drop into my DMs with a “Why aren’t we besties yet?” kind of message. 

As a new inductee to midlife, I was excited to read the funny tales of this book. As I age, I feel like a new member of a club that I didn’t necessarily want to be a part of. I didn’t mean to register or apply, but here I am. The author of this book would certainly commiserate because here she is, too.

We are both navigating what it’s like to be in a body that’s older in years than we feel. Likewise, we understand what it means to have a new generation become the louder voice in the room. Navigating aging is a wild ride, and it’s nice to have bedfellows as messy as me punching tickets for the seat next to me.

If nothing else, we can swap stories about creaking knees and complain about gas prices until we reach our destination. I love the humor and naked truths told in these pages—it’s a must-read if you’re coming to grips with AARP membership fliers and bird watching.