The best books for women done with leaning in

If you want to be happy, the first thing you need to do is put happiness first.

“But what if I’m a type-A achiever who wants a big title and salary?” you ask. That’s great! People find happiness in all sorts of things, and maybe a corner office is your jam. The point, says Dr. Tal Leead, is to prioritize the purposes, activities, and relationships that bring joy to your life.

We can’t always avoid doing stuff we don’t enjoy, but we can make a mental shift to create our unique, soul-deep definition of happiness—and pursue it. This simple shift to a Happier Being mindset has helped me more than all the to-do lists, success seminars, and exhortations to “lean in.”

It may seem strange to include a jobseeker’s guide in a list of leadership books, but Agile Unemployment is the resource for anyone faced with the hardest leadership task of all: leading yourself through a time of trial.

Sabina Sulat has been there—on both sides of the HR desk for “that conversation”—and she offers her well-earned wisdom with deep candor, much-needed encouragement, and straight-shooting practicality. In my early career days, I always found the “What color is your parachute” genre pretty useless, not to mention incredibly depressing. I wish I’d had Sulat’s sound guidance back then; it would have helped me lean in, out, up, down, and sideways with far more grace and optimism.

I am an anxious achiever. In fact, I’m an overachiever with a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

The great thing about this book is that, while it’s no substitute for the medications and therapy we anxiety sufferers may need, it helps us see that we’re not alone; moreover, that we can succeed not just despite our anxious personality, but because of it.

Good things happen, says Morra Aarons-Mele, “when we learn to manage anxiety and take advantage of its hidden gifts.” In other words, we can lean in (to our fear) and conquer. If you’re like me, well versed in the ways of an edgy brain, skip straight to Part Two, which offers a powerful toolset for managing anxiety at work.

LaPora Lindsey's key message, that we can make a profound positive impact no matter how little formal authority we have, is the leadership message for our time.

And her key metaphor—"life at the bottom of the food chain," whence all energy originates—is a brilliant way to express it. I’ve come to realize that this perspective on careers isn’t just for entry-level youngsters; it’s also for us oldsters with top jobs and/or years of experience.

We imagine it’s our bird’s-eye strategies and top-down direction that count, but oftentimes, it’s our earth-bound energy and support that make the biggest difference. When we say, “Yes, good idea, I’ll get behind that. Here’s how I’ll help,” we gain more power than we know. 

I’m an old corporate-training pro who wrestled for decades with one problem: how to get folks to apply the skills and mindsets we taught, actually altering their behavior on the job.

“Just do it” does not work, for as soon as learners encounter any sort of adversity—an irate customer, difficult conversation, project setback, or plain old lack of time—good intentions fly out the window, entrenched habits fly back in, and the air goes out of the intended change.

Meg Poag’s The Adversity Hack offers a solution. No "mindfulness" platitudes here; just a simple yet effective method for getting out of our own way and leaning into our best selves, especially when the path is rough. (And honestly, when is it not?)