100 books like The Survivor's Guide to Sex

By Staci Haines,

Here are 100 books that The Survivor's Guide to Sex fans have personally recommended if you like The Survivor's Guide to Sex. Shepherd is a community of 11,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It

Michael Castleman Author Of Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age

From my list on sex and sexuality.

Why am I passionate about this?

During a career spanning almost 50 years, Michael Castleman has become the world’s most popular sex expert you’ve probably never heard of.  He has answered more sexuality questions than anyone else on the planet.

Michael's book list on sex and sexuality

Michael Castleman Why did Michael love this book?

Most men think sex is largely about intercourse, and that intercourse is how women get to orgasm. Actually, the organ that triggers orgasm in women is the clitoris, which sits outside the vagina an inch or so above it nestled beneath the top junction of the vaginal lips. Only a small fraction of women can work up to orgasm during intercourse. Most need gentle, direct, extended clitoral caresses, by hand, mouth, or sex toy. This book explains the primacy of the clitoris in women’s pleasure. It should be required reading for all men.

By Laurie Mintz,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Becoming Cliterate as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

We've been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don't orgasm this way. We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm-clitoral stimulation-from how we feel we should orgasm-penetration. As a result, we've created a pleasure gap between women and men:

50% of 18-35-year-old women say they have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner 64% of women vs 91% of men said they had an orgasm at their last sexual…


Book cover of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

Laurie Mintz Author Of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It

From my list on improving your sex life.

Why am I passionate about this?

Before children, I had a robust sex drive. When my second daughter was born, poof—it disappeared. Upon asking, I discovered that my friends were also struggling. I immersed myself in the research literature and found solutions—yet was dismayed that this information wasn’t readily available to women. So, I translated the scientific literature into an accessible self-help book. My passion was ignited. I immersed myself in sex education and therapy, publishing my second book based on the experiences of students in a university-level human sexuality course I teach. I find deep meaning translating sexual science for the lay public and helping people gain knowledge and comfort with sex.

Laurie's book list on improving your sex life

Laurie Mintz Why did Laurie love this book?

This book is written for men about how to pleasure women (with oral sex).

The author, a well-known sex therapist, reveals at the start of the book how he discovered the art of cunnilingus. He suffered from premature ejaculation and thought he could thus never please a woman—until he discovered (in his own words) that “the tongue is mightier than the sword!” 

Ian writes from a knowledgeable, compassionate voice, giving readers information and skills to please their female partners. I’ve recommended this book to countless individuals. The term “cliterate” first appeared on the back of this book cover.

When I wanted to use it on my book cover, I called Ian and asked his permission. He graciously said, “Of course! The more cliterate people in the world, the better!”

By Ian Kerner,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked She Comes First as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”
—Cosmopolitan

 

Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—anessential guidebook to oral sex from the author of Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either. The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.” An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves…


Book cover of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

Shafia Zaloom Author Of Sex, Teens & Everything in Between: The New and Necessary Conversations Today’s Teenagers Need to Have about Consent, Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love, and More

From my list on healthy sexuality and relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

Shafia Zaloom is a health educator, parent, consultant, and author whose work centers on human development, community building, ethics, and social justice. Shafia has worked with thousands of children and their families in her role as teacher, coach, administrator, board member, and outdoor educator. She has contributed articles to The New York Times, The Washington Post, and numerous parenting blogs. Shafia’s book, Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between has been reviewed as “the ultimate relationship guide for teens of all orientations and identities.” It is one that “every teen, and every parent and educator - and every other adult who interacts with teens - should read.”

Shafia's book list on healthy sexuality and relationships

Shafia Zaloom Why did Shafia love this book?

This is the textbook I teach from in my high school healthy sexuality and relationship class. Ideally, it would be on the shelf of every teenager and young adult. Corinna tackles all of the real and relevant, as well as trickiest, topics about healthy sex, relationships, and love. It provides comprehensive, medically accurate information on any and everything a teen and young adult needs to know about understanding sex and sexuality within this popular culture, it also addresses the nuances of cultural messaging and the complexities of human relationships. From how to sort out gender and sexual identities to updated information on safe sexuality practices to finding and cultivating meaningful and healthy relationships, to how to set and respect boundaries, communicate desires, and rock consent, this book is an all-in-one resource for empowering young people. The information and guidance it provides encourages the joys and responsibilities of healthy bodies and…

By Heather Corinna,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked S.E.X. as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

As a teen or emerging adult, dealing with all the changes going on in your life, body, and mind can be mighty overwhelming. When it comes to sex, everyone seems to have strong feelings and opinions about who you should be and what you should (shouldn't) do. How do you decide who to listen to? Heather Corinna and Scarleteen have provided sex education and information to millions of young people, parents, and mentors since 1998 S.E.X tackles all the big topics:Self-image and how to find and claim your own sexual selfHow to best protect and support your sexual and emotional…


Book cover of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage

Michael Castleman Author Of Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age

From my list on sex and sexuality.

Why am I passionate about this?

During a career spanning almost 50 years, Michael Castleman has become the world’s most popular sex expert you’ve probably never heard of.  He has answered more sexuality questions than anyone else on the planet.

Michael's book list on sex and sexuality

Michael Castleman Why did Michael love this book?

Most men feel impatient with foreplay, and believe sex is all about intercourse. Actually, satisfying, high-quality lovemaking is based on leisurely, gentle, playful, mutual whole-body massage that eventually -- after 20 minutes or so--focuses on the genitals. Foreplay is not some obligation to get through. It's the bedrock basis of sizzling sex. This book is an engaging, comprehensive, hands-on guide to mutual whole-body massage. Co-author Patti Britton is one of the nation’s most distinguished and creative sex educators, and her book is marvelous.

By Patti Britton, Helen Hodgson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Tender and erotic, a sensual massage is a highly pleasurable experience--and one of the best ways to express love and affection. Fully illustrated and easy to read, The Complete Idiot's Guide (R) to Sensual Massage includes original massage programs especially devised to relax, delight, and arouse both men and women. Everything you need to know about giving and receiving sensual massage is here: sensual massage as foreplay, for body gratification, and for healing touch methodology. The book also explains the difference between sensual massage and other types of massage, as well as how sensual massage enhances intimacy. The book will…


Book cover of The Courage to Be Me: A Story of Courage, Self-Compassion and Hope After Sexual Abuse

Meg-John Barker Author Of Sexuality: A Graphic Guide

From my list on comic books about sexuality.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a queer writer who is passionate about getting good awareness of gender, sexuality, relationships and mental health out there into the world. I create comics, zines, blog posts, and self-help style books to try to reach as wide an audience as possible, bringing together the work of activists, scholars, therapists, and creators - and drawing on a diverse range of knowledge and experiences - in the hope of helping us all understand ourselves and our world better.

Meg-John's book list on comic books about sexuality

Meg-John Barker Why did Meg-John love this book?

Post #metoo there’s a lot more awareness around sexual abuse and assault, but still few books to help readers to understand why it impacts them the way it does. 

In The Courage to Be Me, cartooning psychologist Nina Burrowes presents what we know from the science of sexual trauma, and tells the stories of a group who support each other around their experiences. 

Having several different stories, all illustrated by different comic artists, emphasises the diverse forms that assault and abuse can take, and the ways in which they hit us all differently. Despite the tough topics covered, this is an uplifting book which helps the reader to see their experiences reflected, and to learn some skills for how to look after themselves around what happened with the kindness they deserve.


By Nina Burrowes, Alexander Bertram-Powell (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Courage to Be Me as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

How do you rebuild your life after sexual abuse? Join a group of women as they share their stories of courage, self-compassion and hope. Find out how meeting each other and learning about recovery helped them find the courage to be themselves. The courage to be me combines science, storytelling and illustration to send a message of hope to the millions of people who are living with the impact of rape or sexual abuse. Written by psychologist and researcher Dr Nina Burrowes


Book cover of The Evolution of Human Sexuality

Stephen K. Sanderson Author Of Human Nature and the Evolution of Society

From my list on understanding the biological basis of social life.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a PhD in sociology but know almost as much about anthropology. I am a comparative sociologist specializing in the study of the entire range of human societies. This gives me an advantage in knowing which social practices are universal, which are only common, and which are uncommon or not found at all. This is critical in being able to assess the basic features of human nature. For over thirty years I have been studying the literature on Darwinian approaches to human behavior, especially sociobiology and evolutionary psychology. I am one of the leading sociologists in the world today studying the biological basis of social behavior. 

Stephen's book list on understanding the biological basis of social life

Stephen K. Sanderson Why did Stephen love this book?

This is a classic work taking a Darwinian perspective on human sexual behavior. A central theme is that there are sharp differences between male and female sexuality. Male sexuality is more urgent and less discriminating than female sexuality. Males also have a stronger desire than females for sexual variety. This is because males can promote their reproductive success by mating with many females, whereas sexual variety provides no real reproductive advantage for females. Males are in competition with other males for access to mates, especially mates of high reproductive value. The author takes up the question of whether the female orgasm is an adaptation or a by-product of the male organism, concluding that it is a by-product.

By Donald Symons,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Evolution of Human Sexuality as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Author Donald Symonds examines the differences between men and women in sexual behavior and attitudes, concluding that these differences are innate and that it is impossible to achieve identical sexualities in males and females. A central theme of this book is that, with respect to sexuality, there is a female human nature and a male human nature, and these natures are extraordinarily different, though the differences are to some extent masked by the compromises
heterosexual relationships entail and by moral injunctions. Men and women differ in their sexual natures because throughout the immensely long hunting and gathering phase of human…


Book cover of Living Underground

Susan E. Wadds Author Of What the Living Do

From my list on flip the script on women’s sexuality, pleasure, and cultural roles.

Why am I passionate about this?

In my writing and in my life, I look at life and relationships in terms of what is and isn’t expected or acceptable. I’ve been fascinated by how pleasure itself has become a dirty word and how it can be exploited and used. Women have so much more potential and are so much more complex than what is given to us by media and social constructs. I write to expose the underside of identity, beliefs, and especially how past encounters color and shape our ability to experience pleasure.

Susan's book list on flip the script on women’s sexuality, pleasure, and cultural roles

Susan E. Wadds Why did Susan love this book?

Again, I loved this book because it examines a young life from an unconventional point of view. How love and perceived romance can occur outside of acceptable cultural norms.

I love that music brings these people together. I love when a book makes me understand how what I might think is wrong or immoral is just another face of love and life.

By Ruth Walker,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Living Underground as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A woman's lover from her youth resurfaces in her adult life, and she is drawn into the turmoil surrounding disturbing accusations about his Nazi past. From pre WWI Dresden, Germany to contemporary urban Toronto, the dual point of view narrative crosses continents and moves through time as it explores the ambiguity of human emotion, how our natures can embody both the ideals and delights of love alongside the most base and dispassionate sensibilities.


Book cover of Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Sara Nasserzadeh Author Of Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love

From my list on how to move from surviving to thriving in your relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an author, speaker, researcher, and thinking partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality, intercultural fluency, and relationships. I have over two decades of experience working with individuals, couples, companies, and governments across 40 countries. I truly believe that we can create world peace one relationship at a time, and embrace it as my mission. My third book in English, Love By Design, is the result of two-decade-long research on the status of thriving relationships and its key ingredients. These could be applied to relationships in all spaces, from bedrooms (most intimate) to the boardrooms (most public).

Sara's book list on how to move from surviving to thriving in your relationships

Sara Nasserzadeh Why did Sara love this book?

Dr. Emily Nagoski's approach to understanding the intricacies of human sexuality is not only refreshing but also deeply insightful and relatable. This book doesn't just scratch the surface; it delves into the complexities of desire, arousal, and satisfaction with unparalleled clarity.

What sets it apart is Nagoski's ability to distill complex scientific research into practical, accessible guidance for couples. The messages are simple (although scientifically sound). 

I've seen this book empowering individuals to embrace their unique sexual selves and foster a deeper, more fulfilling connection with their partners. It's a must-read for anyone seeking to enhance intimacy and revitalize their sex life.

By Emily Nagoski,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Come as You Are as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER.

An essential exploration of women's sexuality that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

After all the books that have been written about sex, all the blogs and TV shows and radio Q&As, how can it be that we all still have so many questions? The frustrating reality is that we've been lied to - not deliberately, it's no one's fault, but still. We were told the wrong story.

Come as You Are reveals the true story behind female sexuality, uncovering the little-known science of what makes us tick…


Book cover of My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

Lil O'Brien Author Of Not That I'd Kiss a Girl: A Kiwi girl's tale of coming out and coming of age

From my list on young women who are unorthodox but interesting.

Why am I passionate about this?

My love for strange women began with a love of the tomboy, growing up in the ‘80s and 90’s with characters like Pippi Longstocking and George from The Famous Five. They’re young women who broke the rules of decorum or gender presentation—and they just always seemed to be having a lot more fun. Or at least more interesting experiences. This love of rebels and unruly women has stuck with me, and I think our depiction of women like this has become deeper and more varied. I just love a character who’s a bit of an odd duck, is irrepressible or voracious, or just plain messy. Nice is boring—give me the chaos.

Lil's book list on young women who are unorthodox but interesting

Lil O'Brien Why did Lil love this book?

Very few books have affected me more than this autobiographical Japanese manga. The book's author, artist, and protagonist is a young woman navigating her family relationships, mental health, and sexuality. In the grips of depression, desperate to be touched, the protagonist goes to an escort agency—but the plot is not the point.

Nagata’s willingness to “go there” feels so fresh, and is so vulnerable and heartfelt. As a queer person there was a lot to identify with, as a writer I took away a determination to try and be even half as vulnerable in my writing, and as a young woman I felt seen in a new way. 

By Nagata Kabi,

Why should I read it?

4 authors picked My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness is an honest and heartfelt look at one young woman's exploration of her sexuality, mental well-being, and growing up in our modern age. Told using expressive artwork that invokes both laughter and tears, this moving and highly entertaining single volume depicts not only the artist's burgeoning sexuality, but many other personal aspects of her life that will resonate with readers.


Book cover of For Real

Arnold Miles Author Of Special Delivery

From my list on exploring sexuality and intimacy in and between men.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have a passion for the themes and moods of this list because they explore so many parts of my emotions. They rile me, they work me up into a hot frenzy, they turn me on, they fascinate me, they bruise me, they heal me. I see myself in these books, and I feel that I understand other people. I’ve enjoyed (and still enjoy) reading these books published for free on blogs online, but now I want to write more and read more than I’ve done before. This list is a starting point, and I hope you enjoy them!

Arnold's book list on exploring sexuality and intimacy in and between men

Arnold Miles Why did Arnold love this book?

I love this book because it balances the desire to get up close and personal while watching two men find their way to an emotionally strong relationship so well.

It’s kinky, sexy, and British. The dialogue is great, and the descriptions are great. And in places, it is pure smut. 

By Alexis Hall,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked For Real as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.


5 book lists we think you will like!

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