61 books like How to Love a Child

I first read this book in the mid-1990s as I was honing my skills as a therapist.

It hit me hard, as if the author, a psychiatrist, had been a fly on the wall of my childhood home. Miller holds no punches about what drives some people to become clinicians.

Part One of her book is titled “The Drama of the Gifted Child and How We Became Psychotherapists.” It helped me get clear about my choice of career. It was painful reading, but critical to my skills as a clinician and my own mental well-being. I’ve never forgotten it.

Whether you are a therapist, thinking about becoming one, or want to read a book that tears the cover off the myths of childhood, this is essential reading. 

If you have read a parenting book or taken a parenting course in the last sixty years, chances are you have been influenced by the wisdom of Haim Ginott, even if you didn’t realize it.

He and his students, including the authors of How to Talk So Children Will Listen, set the groundwork for what is known today as connection parenting, conscious parenting, gentle parenting, playful parenting, and authoritative (but not authoritarian) parenting.

When my mom passed away and I looked through her books, I saw she had a first edition of Between Parent and Child, first published when I was a young boy.

When I read it, I felt a strong flash of recognition about the way she raised me. Ginott gets children, and he gets parents.

Vivian Paley was the only classroom teacher to win a Macarthur “genius” grant.

Her particular genius was deeply understanding the inner life of young children, and creating innovative ways for them to reveal and explore that inner life.

She listened carefully to children, told stories to reach them at the heart, and encouraged them to share their stories and act them out.

It was hard to pick one book by Paley to highlight, since I also loved her respect for children’s dramatic play in Molly is Three and Bad Guys Don’t Have Birthdays, and I loved her recognition of the depth of children’s empathy in The Kindness of Children.

As an added bonus, Vivian Paley was a classmate at Newcomb College with my mother, and they both went into early childhood education.

I read every Nicholson Baker book as soon as it arrives, and not just because I knew him before he published his first short story.

My favorite novels of his explore what it is to be a thinking (and sometimes, overthinking) human being.

In The Everlasting Story of Nory, he applies his wit and wisdom to the mind of a nine-year-old girl, and he captures beautifully what that time of life is like.

Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America probes what I consider to be the basic dilemma of modern American parenting – how the love for children and concern for their welfare has led to growing anxiety among parents eager to do it right. 

In imaginative research into different dimensions of culture, Stearns shows that middle-class parents became increasingly self-conscious and self-questioning about meeting the needs of their children starting in the early twentieth century. The book probes the emotional consequences of modern parenting’s commitment to encouraging child expression and individual happiness.

Stearns’s exploration demonstrates one of the consequences of the revolution—from viewing children as having utility to having only emotional value—first defined by Zelizer. It suggests how even the best-intended changes can have unexpected consequences.

I love Wenner Moyer’s warmth and humor interwoven with good old-fashioned science about how to parent kids to be decent human beings.

I devoured the book on Kindle and then immediately bought a hard copy so I could easily pull it off the shelf for reference. And I often do.

She is the furthest from preachy or self-righteous while giving rationales and tips for how to raise empathic kids who aren’t racist, sexist, or completely self-absorbed. It’s a must for every parent’s bookshelf.

Parents are the foundation of our society. However, too many parents do not receive the support they need to meet the needs of their children.

Dr. Dana Suskind, my incredible wife, combines the latest science on the key role of parents in the development of children’s brains with stories of the experience of parents left shouldering this vital responsibility. Leaving parents unsupported is detrimental not only to children and families, but also society.

This book is essential for all members of society to read in order to understand why and, importantly, how we must support parents. Parent Nation provides a blueprint for a more sustainable future.

I have long been interested in Seigman's work on positive psychology. Increasingly, we are living in a world where hope is a diminishing commodity. Wars, economic downturns, and the climate crisis are all making life feel more uncertain, and 24-hour news culture and an omnipresent internet make it difficult for young people to escape the negative images that bombard them.

Statistics on children and young people’s mental health are frightening, with NHS England estimating that in 2023, 1 in 5 children and young people aged between 8 and 25 had a probable mental health disorder. Parents and practitioners alike are looking at these statistics in dismay and wondering how we can best equip and safeguard our children. Seligman’s book confronts these issues head-on in a thought-provoking and evidenced-based way.

This highly practical book considers how optimism can be learned and that by viewing setbacks as temporary, children and young people… show more.

It took me a long time to understand how my mother’s well-intentioned decision to send me to a child psychologist derailed my whole life, but Bad Therapy finally put the pieces together. In being diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a teen—and consequently medicated for it—a message was sent by the adults around me: I did not have the capacity to help myself.  

That unspoken message haunted me for the next fifteen years, leading me down a path of self-induced victimhood, fragility, and, paradoxically, more depression. I see this happening with an entire generation, and this book explains why—a must-read for every parent or medicated kid. 

I loved this book because Reber makes it all about the parent in service of an easier parenting experience. And she takes on what can be a highly stressful and isolating parenting experience – raising neurodivergent kids.

This book is for parents who feel like parenting experts don’t “get it.” I felt so understood and supported while also learning some fundamental ways to better care for myself while also understanding my children better.