100 books like The Polyamorists Next Door

I have found this book to be essential reading for my own life as well as in providing culturally-competent and effective counseling for clients in my private practice. 

Rowman and Littlefield has been a pioneer in publishing books with accurate and up-to-date information about consensual non-monogamy, LGBTQ issues, and kink and BDSM relationships. This is especially important as they make these books available to universities and other institutions that are training therapists and psychologists so that these clinicians will be qualified to work with these specialized populations that are so often misunderstood and cannot find appropriate mental health services. In addition, these books are written so that the layperson can understand and benefit from them. As a result, individuals who are seeking guidance and information about alternative sexualities and non-traditional relationships can easily utilize these books in their own lives.

Dr. Deborah Anapol wrote what is recognized as the first… show more.

By the time Dr. Anapol wrote this book, a mainstream publisher like Rowman and Littlefield was willing to publish on this controversial subject. The book explains why some people choose relationships where they and their partners have the freedom to have multiple sexual and/or love relationships, as well as providing a primer on how to conduct such relationships ethically and honestly. While Anapol’s first book provided guidance and tools for successful polyamorous relationships, this book benefits from being written 20 years later, when a lot more people were openly practicing polyamory. As a result, she was able to interview many people who had created happy and healthy open relationships and could offer their hard-earned lessons and advice. Many of her interview subjects tackle the tough subject of jealousy, which is the key obstacle for most people in making polyamory work. They offer some fresh perspectives and approaches to managing and… show more.

Another treasured book on my “polyamory bookshelf” is Martha Kauppi’s fantastic book, Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), also published by Rowman and Littlefiled in 2020. This is the first and only training manual for psychologists and psychotherapists who want to provide highly-skilled therapy for polyamorous individuals, couples, and others in nonmonogamous relationship configurations. 

I have been waiting for over 30 years for someone to write this book! I receive calls nearly every week from confused and anxious therapists who have absolutely no idea how to provide counseling for clients who have come to them for help with their nonmonogamous relationships. I also frequently hear from individuals and couples who have gone to numerous therapists for counseling about their polyamorous relationships and the therapists have done more harm than good, due to a lack of training and knowledge about this type of relationship. Thanks to this… show more.

This is a brand-new Rowman and Littlefield book by Glen Olson and Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers, fresh off the presses in December 2022: Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement. Both Olson and Brussel-Rogers have been involved in the polyamory movement for nearly half a century, and have been founding members of some of the pivotal polyamory organizations throughout the decades. They know this history both personally and politically, and know most of the key players and have interviewed them extensively for the book. 

Even though I have been involved in the polyamory community and movement for decades, I learned so much from this book! This is not a dry history book; it’s a very fascinating and lively read! The book chronicles the evolution of polyamorous philosophy and ideas, as well as the organizational development involved in taking this lifestyle from a very discreet experience… show more.

When people hear the word “polyamory,” many think of free love communes or wild sex parties. Not many people think of a suburban mom. Gracie X offers her story of discovering polyamory within the context of the average American family. Most importantly, the author shares her perspective on navigating non-monogamy while also raising children, a perspective that is sometimes neglected in polyamory discourse. If you have kids but also have an interest in non-monogamy, check out this honest take on the benefits and risks of practicing polyamory as a parent. 

Whenever I’m working with clients who are trying to figure out if polyamory is for them, I always recommend finding a way to connect to real-life polyamorous folks. It’s so important to hear genuine stories from a wide variety of perspectives—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Going to a local meetup group is the best way to do this, but reading this book comes in at a close second. Dr. Eli Sheff, a researcher who has conducted several longitudinal studies on polyamorous families, presents this compilation of personal stories from many different folks in non-monogamous families and networks. These stories span the range from hilarious to heartbreaking. 

At the beginning of this book, I recognized the ingredients that make up popular erotic novels. The main character, Edie, a Black woman and struggling artist, is beginning a relationship with an older, wealthy, successful white man in an open marriage. There’s a power imbalance. To a certain extent, this excites Edie, and in this way, the book fits neatly into the parameters of the genre.

However, the relationship becomes messy, and Edie’s life, both with and away from Eric, is fraught with bad decisions. Race, wealth, and gender intersect with sex in a complex and uncomfortable milieu. Through all of this, and with the guidance of Eric’s wife, Edie begins to make progressive, less destructive choices, and as she does, her art progresses.

I love this memoir because Robin Rinaldi fiercely loves and trusts herself for being sexual, and shows us from the inside what it means to positively claim our sexuality in midlife.

Rinaldi undertook a brave and vulnerable journey—a year-long break from her companionable but passionless marriage to find passion by pursuing a variety of sexual traditions and relationships with men. Her story is not only an entertaining page-turner, but deeply vulnerable and satisfying. 

She chronicles her heart as well as her body, and reminds us that it is not always easy to take risks—there are challenges, heartaches, and rewards in creating a deeply satisfying life. Further modeling bravery, she also wrote an Atlantic article about transcending the slut shaming she received from writing the book.  

Ainsley and Peter are struggling, and they decide to try an open marriage. A risky proposition, given that neither trusts the other—and rightly so, the reader soon discovers. But when one of Ainsley's dates follows her home and Peter kills him, they are forced to co-operate so they can get away with the crime. Nothing like a joint project to rekindle the flames of passion!

This book is nearly perfect. Yes, there are a few twists which could have been foreshadowed better, but the wicked glee with which the author tells her story is contagious. I could practically hear her palms rubbing together as I read.

I deeply appreciate Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's book for its courage in challenging societal norms around relationships.

The book's exploration of ethical non-monogamy pushes me to examine my personal boundaries and expectations. I value its discussion not just on sexuality but on all relationship dynamics.

The book resonates with me intensely, serving as a catalyst for self-discovery and understanding, which is why I hold it in such high regard.