100 books like Tell Me How to Be

My husband is a native Bostonian, so when I discovered this novel takes place in the historic Back Bay neighborhood of the city, I was immediately intrigued.

The story follows Meena Dave, an orphan who has inherited an apartment from a woman she has never met. As she attempts to figure out their connection, she forms an unexpected friendship with a trio of meddling aunties who also live in the building and have been in each other’s lives since birth.

Through these women, Meena learns not just of her past, but of the importance of community, culture, and the sacrifices of sisterhood. 

I was in my forties, the first time I ever read a novel about a Gujarati American family, and this was the one. I was on a beach in Mexico, experiencing for the first time what it felt like to see my comfort foods, my family’s mannerisms, and my culture’s ideologies represented in a book. The story is told from the perspective of three generations of women in a family and it made me think about my own relationships with my mother and grandmother, and what secrets each of them may be carrying because nothing is ever as simple as it seems. 

There is so much wit and humor in this memoir that touches upon the immigrant experience from the perspective of the first-generation adult child. Deb goes on a journey to learn who his parents are as individuals and gains a perspective that is often difficult to achieve in the Indian community because parents don’t often share with their children who they are on the inside. The vulnerability with which Deb shares his childhood desire to blend into the white community in which he was raised was so relatable because I’d had a similar upbringing in another part of the country. This book made me laugh hard, think more deeply, and want to know my parents better.

Like me, the author is a former lawyer, so I knew I had to read her book, and it did not disappoint. Judge pushes the boundaries of what we have traditionally seen from Indian American authors and tells a complex story of how a single day can forever change one’s path. Told from multiple perspectives, her characters break stereotypes and make some questionable decisions, but beneath it all are still rooted in love and loyalty to their family. Judge gracefully tackles topics like addiction, filial piety, and divorce, subjects that are not often discussed openly in the Indian community. This one was both heart-wrenching and hopeful.

I read this sublime short story collection just after I moved to England from India. Saying that these stories of displacement, yearning, loss, love spoke to me is an understatement. I was new to England, missing India which I still thought of as home and while some of the stories brought India back vividly to me, others I could absolutely identify with as they detailed the immigrant experience so beautifully. A book that will always be very close to my heart as I read it and laughed and cried and yearned alongside the characters. 

When Dimple Met Rishi is one of the first young adult romances featuring Indian American teenagers to garner international acclaim. What makes this story so powerful is not necessarily the romantic plot—although Rishi is quite the swoon-worthy hero, and Dimple is an empowered heroine that commands her audience’s attention straight away. In fact, When Dimple Met Rishi succeeds in its deliberate bridging of the Indian American diaspora, taking the time to emphasize that one can subscribe to both cultures without losing one or the other. As a young adult in this diaspora as well, I can really resonate with Dimple and Rishi’s struggles, and it was a joy to see them overcome these challenges and fall in love all at once.

Another novel in verse, I loved Rajani LaRocca’s Red, White, and Whole for its emotional complexity.

Though a work of fiction, LaRocca has said that many of the aspects of the book are based on her own experience growing up as an Indian American in the 1980s. In the story, thirteen-year-old Reha straddles two worlds: expected to honor Indian traditions and expectations at home, while fitting into the life of an American teenager at school.

But when Reha’s mother is diagnosed with cancer, Reha must confront more than just her fear of blood. I love this book for the mirrors and windows it provides readers of all ages.

The Knockout is about Kareena Thakkar, a Muay Thai fighter who straddles multiple worlds. In her Indian community, she struggles with not feeling “Indian enough,” and her athletic goals only accentuate that outsider status. At school, nobody knows she’s a serious athlete and because she’s unable to be her true self, she doesn’t feel as though she has a place. Finally, she’s a fierce athlete, carving a name for herself and a path to the US Muay Thai Open, which might lead directly to the first-ever Olympic team. As if straddling three separate worlds wasn’t complicated enough, she falls for a guy who challenges her in all the ways. 

The rhythm and energy of American Desi!!! It is an absolute delight to read this story. The repeated question, “Which is the color of me?” paired with the bright, colorful, fiber illustrations will surely draw anyone into the book. As all these different colors and threads and fibers come together, we celebrate as the little girl celebrates, “All the colors of me!” As the child of Jamaican immigrants, born and raised here in the States, I very much relate to these complicated in-between experiences of living in multiple worlds, having threads that connect with numerous places, and trying to figure out where I fit, where I belong. American Desi is truly a book for our global society.  

Veena Rao’s Purple Lotus is an inspiring story of one woman’s (Tara) search for and discovery of self-worth, self-determination, inner strength, and authenticity. I admired the author’s fine writing which powerfully captures the harsh realities of a young immigrant’s life in an abusive marriage in a new, foreign country, the pressures and expectations from her traditional family and community back in India, and, ultimately, Tara’s ability and courage to recognize that she is undeserving of such treatment. Concurrently, she realizes that her struggles are emblematic of broader, systemic issues, which Tara forthrightly and eloquently addresses head-on.