The best dating and relationship advice books

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a late bloomer, born and raised in Beverly Hills by two Hollywood talent agents. I am the product of divorce, an admitted commitment-phobe, serial dater, marriage first-timer at 51, and badass with a heart of gold. I am an ICF-certified life coach, dating and relationship coach, and long-time fitness professional passionate about politics, policy, and people of all ages and abilities. I co-host the podcast Done Being Single with my husband Robby Scharf, a fellow late bloomer. Together, we deliver dating intervention and relationship advice to listeners all over the world.


I wrote...

Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer's Guide to Love

By Treva Brandon Scharf,

Book cover of Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer's Guide to Love

What is my book about?

The tell-all that helps all: you’re never too old, and it’s never too late.

Treva Brandon Scharf paid her dues in the dating world. She loved and lost, dumped and got dumped, and finally became a first-time bride at the age of 51. Her debut book is part self-help/dating advice, part-memoir, and 100% delightful. If you can stop laughing long enough, you’ll realize you’ve just met a one-of-a-kind force of nature who has managed to acquire an invaluable store of knowledge on life, love, and personal growth. If you’re freaking out in your 20s, hyperventilating in your 30s, living a life of not-so-quiet desperation in your 40s (like Treva was), or needing a jump start in your 50s and beyond, she's got you covered.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

Treva Brandon Scharf Why did I love this book?

My husband gave me this book way before I started writing my book (he may have unknowingly planted a seed in my mind).

What I love about this book is that even though it's written by a success coach, it actually makes great dating advice. Dating success and life success go hand-in-hand.

When the author talks about visualizing a parking space and seeing it open up, I thought, what the hell, let me see if this works in other areas of my life. Call it the power of positive thinking, or just using your mind’s eye for manifestation, it definitely works.

By Jen Sincero,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked You Are a Badass as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

YOU ARE A BADASS IS THE self-help BOOK FOR PEOPLE WHO DESPERATELY WANT TO IMPROVE THEIR LIVES BUT DON'T WANT TO GET BUSTED DOING IT. In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, bestselling author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bitesized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word, helping you to: Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours that stop you from getting what you want, Create a life you totally love. And create it NOW, Make some damn money already. The kind you've never made before. By the…


Book cover of How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate

Treva Brandon Scharf Why did I love this book?

I read this book while I was writing my book.

Unlike Jennifer, I’m not a psychologist. I draw from my own dating experiences and use that as data, but Jennifer uses real clinical research and science, which I loved.

There are so many dating how-to books, but this one is different because the author teaches singles how to be single.

As a dating coach, I was inspired by her philosophy and views on singlehood. I practice them with my clients, and I used them as a central theme in my book: The happier you are being single, the sooner you won’t be single.

By Jennifer Taitz,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Be Single and Happy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Single, less stressed, and free

If you’re tired of swiping through dating apps, ghosting, and hearing well-meaning questions about why you’re still single, it’s hard not to feel “less-than” because you haven’t found your soul mate.

Until now.

How to Be Single and Happy is an empowering, compassionate guide to stop overanalyzing romantic encounters, get over regrets or guilt about past relationships, and identify what you want and need in a partner. But this isn’t just another dating book. Drawing on her extensive expertise as a clinical psychologist, as well as the latest research, hundreds of patient interviews, and key…


Book cover of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—And Keep—Love

Treva Brandon Scharf Why did I love this book?

Have you ever wondered why certain people act certain ways in relationships?

Apparently, our attachment styles can be the reason why relationships are harder for some people more than others! Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller do a great job of explaining the psychology and theory behind our relationship instincts in this book.

By Amir Levine, Rachel Heller,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Attached as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.”
—The New York Times

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John…


Book cover of All About Love: New Visions

Treva Brandon Scharf Why did I love this book?

There is a reason why this book is considered a classic in self-help nonfiction.

It does such a great job of making you think deeper about the ways we love and why. I recommend this for those seeking introspective guidance and understanding, especially around the topics of love and empathy.

By bell hooks,

Why should I read it?

5 authors picked All About Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"The word "love" is most often defined as a noun, yet...we would all love better if we used it as a verb," writes bell hooks as she comes out fighting and on fire in All About Love. Here, at her most provocative and intensely personal, the renowned scholar, cultural critic, and feminist skewers our view of love as romance. In its place she offers a proactive new ethic for a people and a society bereft with lovelessness. As bell hooks uses her incisive mind and razor-sharp pen to explore the question "What is love?" her answers strike at both the…


Book cover of Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

Treva Brandon Scharf Why did I love this book?

Dr. Faith G. Harper does not hold back in this short and sweet guide to boundaries.

What I love about this is how straightforward she is: If you’re mad about someone crossing your boundaries, she is too. If it’s an upsetting subject, then her writing style reflects that.

It’s validating as well as educational!

By Faith G. Harper,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Unfuck Your Boundaries as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Boundaries are the ways we communicate our needs. They are what allow us to feel safe among strangers, in everyday interactions, and in our closest relationships. When we have healthy boundaries, we have a strong foundation in an uncertain world. And when someone crosses your boundaries, or you cross someone else's, the results range from unsettling to catastrophic. In this book, bestselling author Dr. Faith Harper offers a full understanding of issues of boundaries and consent, how we can communicate and listen more effectively, and how to survive and move on from situations where our boundaries are violated. Along the…


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Book cover of Act Like an Author, Think Like a Business: Ways to Achieve Financial Literary Success

Joylynn M Ross

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What is my book about?

Act Like an Author, Think Like a Business is for anyone who wants to learn how to make money with their book and make a living as an author. Many authors dive into the literary industry without taking time to learn the business side of being an author, which can hinder book sales and the money that can be made as an author.

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