The best books to help you talk about mental health, because it’s freaking hard

Shame is a big piece of the mental illness puzzle; it can be both a symptom and what keeps us from reaching out when we struggle. I didn’t really understand that until I read Brené Brown’s extensive work on the subject of shame. 

I recommend Rising Strong specifically because in addition to helping to understand the shame piece, it gave me a useful tool. Brown talks about the stories we tell ourselves that are often rooted in our fears. For me that resonated because when my depression gets worse my brain tells me darker and darker stories about everything.

This book helped me see that and communicate it. Learning to say “the story I'm telling myself right now is” was a relationship game changer, especially during dark times.

It can be incredibly frustrating to try to talk about how broken the mental healthcare system is (especially in the United States). Most people have no frame of reference for it.

Similarly the impact mental illness can have on family and loved ones is, for many, uncharted territory. Enter No One Care About Crazy People.

Powers expertly weaves the history of mental healthcare in America together with the story of his family’s battles with schizophrenia. The result is a heartbreaking and beautiful and horrifying and eye-opening book that leaves you better equipped to have those frustrating conversations. 

I’m not going to lie to you, this is a hard one to read. It hurts. That said, it is one of my all-time favorite books.

When it comes to living with and talking about mental illness, you need boundaries.

From protecting your necessary self-care, to getting folks to understand that what you tell them about your mental state isn’t news to share with the whole family, boundaries are important.

For a long time I knew this but didn't actually know what to do about it and, consequently, I spent a lot of time very frustrated. Then I found Nedra Glover Tawwab on Instagram and recognized myself in her posts which led to reading her book. It was an absolute game changer.

This approachable, digestible, dare I say enjoyable book makes boundaries understandable and accessible, doesn’t shame you for struggling with them, and gives concrete examples to help you navigate them. 

We've reached the only actual “how to do mental illness” book on this list and it’s an all time favorite of mine.

Skoczen is not a doctor or a therapist and isn’t afraid to drop a couple of f-bombs when talking about mental health… so, yeah, he’s a lot like me, which may be part of why I love this book so much.

Engaging, reassuring, and full of concrete strategies for navigating depression both as someone with it and as someone who loves someone with it, I have recommended this book for years. 

I never take a bath or a vacation without a Marian Keyes book. That said, beneath the “chick lit” veneer, Keyes’ books typically contain keen insights on depression, addiction, grief, and more.

I recommend her entire canon but my starting point was Rachel’s Holiday. It gave me an understanding of my least favorite parts of myself when I wasn’t looking for it, an introduction to mental health vocabulary long before I ever knew I would need it, and a firm grasp on the importance of addressing the parts of you that frighten you—even if they seem unrelated to the “real” problem—where I never expected to find it.