The best memoirs about illness, aging, or death, with moving stories told through gorgeous, memorable prose

Michelle Zauner’s writing is rich with detail, especially descriptions of Korean foods and visits to relatives in Korea that blossom with imagery, scents, and sounds. Against the backdrop of those vivid childhood scenes and the food shopping and eating scenes, the story remained vivid as her mother succumbs to cancer.

Two themes struck me throughout the book: Michelle’s father is Caucasian American, her mother is a Korean immigrant, and M. struggles to find her place in either culture. Her youthful rebellion against her mother’s over-protectiveness and very Korean-ness becomes painful to face as her mother is sick and dying.

I was deeply moved as Michelle came to accept her mother, forgive herself, and embrace the family and culture her mother had given her.

This book attracted me because, as a gerontologist/social worker, I’m interested in the subject of Alzheimer’s disease (AD) and dementia. This book, rather than describing the long, sad decline of a loved one, tells Bloom’s story of trying to help her spouse with AD to end his life.

Bloom is a clinical social worker who writes with a deep understanding of human behavior and motivation, most notably her own, which makes her a fine memoirist. She writes candidly about her emotions, unafraid to reveal less flattering details.

Her story is a sad one, with many ups and downs, but the overwhelming sense I got was of her powerful love for her husband and desire to give him what he needed in the face of his dementia diagnosis.

I was absolutely blown away by the late Paul Kalanithi’s memoir about his life and cancer struggle because of his beautiful writing and the philosophical thinking behind that writing. The author reviews and comes to terms with his life’s meaning and value for himself and, ultimately, for the reader.

So many parts of this book made me ponder my life’s meaning and worth and how I would have dealt with what Kalanithi was going through. As a physician, he relates his situation to the inherent vulnerability of the human form and the shortcomings of modern medicine. This makes his story so moving, as he is denied blissful ignorance.

I love that this tragic story of a life cut short contains humor, beauty, and Kalanithi’s final satisfaction with the life he lived. 

When I read this memoir by Suleika Jaouad soon after its release, I couldn’t put it down. Another illness memoir that is also a coming-of-age story, here the author must navigate her love life and budding career amid horrendous cancer symptoms and treatments over several years.

It’s a gripping story as she slowly realizes and must adapt to the fact that life will never be the same for her. She is destined to live “between two kingdoms” – the living and the dead – in the realm of the sick.

I was drawn in by her experiences, her humor, and her literate references to history, literature, and culture. I’m a huge fan of Suleika, and I recently reread this memoir to remind myself of her wise and beautiful writing. 

This graphic memoir by Roz Chast is one of my favorite books of all time. I completely relate to the story, which focuses on Chast’s relationship with her parents as they age and become less capable of managing independently.

The book depicts her repeated efforts to coax her parents to face the reality of their aging and failing health as she gradually does more and more to help them, a situation I’m very familiar with and wrote about in my recent memoir. As an only child (like me), she must deal with every crisis and decision.

Her drawings add humor and emphasis to the story, but the prose alone vividly portrays her frustrations and heartbreak as Chast faces complication after complication and loss after loss in her parents’ final few years.