The best picture books about loss, grief, and healing

This book shows a child grieving after the death of his mother.  The gorilla is a subtle but strong metaphor about those who help us through the journey of grief. Words are spare; the illustrations are powerful. In this picture book, grief is shown as heavy, silent, and colorless.

Sometimes it can help to tend to gardens or fly kites or just think about something else.  But mostly, it helps to simply talk about it.” Words and images in this book show a comforting and caring relationship between a boy mourning his mother and an imaginary gorilla.  The gorilla encourages the boy to do the activities he once did with his parents – helping with the garden or flying kites. The gorilla helps the boy talk to his father about missing Mom, and in doing so, together, they find a way to heal.

A family moves through the darkness and isolation of depression and anger, two emotions that are part of their grieving the father’s death. Images and words of the natural world show the sadness and confusion of their feelings.  Finally the moment arrives when anger is fiercely expressed – why did you die, Dad?

Anger as part of grieving is often hidden – because how can one be angry at someone for dying?  All this pent-up emotion comes out in negative ways.  In The Pond, Nicola Davies effectively uses the metaphor of a pond as that well of anger – a dirty, dead, ugly, lifeless, and stinky pond.  Slowly the pond changes as family members pause, reflect, and express feelings.  The pond begins to fill with new life, even with tadpoles that Dad had once imagined.  Now the pond offers discovery, peace, and beauty, a place and a way for the family to come together and move beyond anger and toward acceptance.

In the delightful book, a granddaughter enjoys many fun activities with her grandmother, especially dancing like a leaf. Grandmother begins to change in many ways, especially physically and with her memory. And then “Grandmother’s bed is empty.” The child grieves but slowly feels comfort and even joy as she celebrates the many activities she had shared with her grandmother.

With few words and simple images, we journey with a child as she becomes friends with an elderly neighbor who also loves birds, nature, the changing seasons, and expressing that love through art. But as the change of seasons continues, the girl’s elderly friend becomes fragile in health and strength. Even with an ache in her heart, the child discovers the comfort of remembering special times together and gathering together the drawings they shared. At night, while watching the rising of the full round “frog moon,” the child bundles up close to her mother and “My hands feel warm, and the covers feel soft, and I think of my friend until I fall asleep.”

In this book, we observe the mourning traditions of a Jewish family. A young daughter and her father show us their grief for their mother and wife. They do not want to invite others to come to their home and “sit Shiva” with them. They feel alone in their loss. But friends and family come. 

People bring food, memories, stories, love, and caring. Healing begins. In her author's note, Erin Silver concludes, "What every faith has in common is the idea of community. When someone dies, people bring food; they talk, and they gather. People have a need to care for each other, and the mourning process gives people that chance to share."

It is this coming together – the expression of care and kindness - that is the power of community to help us all heal.