The best books with queer monsters who need a little kiss

Tentacles get a bad rap, which is a shame.

What most people fail to appreciate is that each new tentacle is another location for a little kiss. Vesper Rune, a warm-hearted eldritch horror, has tentacles, and, as librarian Sebastian Rath can attest, each could do with at least one little kiss.

Jordan L Hawk, author of the popular Whyborne and Griffin series, is a titan in the world of kissable monstrosities, and the cultist-turned-hero Vesper Rune is possibly my favorite. After a lifetime of hiding, he finally finds a place where he can be safe, open about both his queerness and his untraditional anatomy, and receive many little kisses. Widdershins knows its own. 

One appeal of falling in love with a monster is the knowledge that a creature more than capable of killing you has chosen to cherish you instead.

The tigers in this book are dangerous, as both Dieu, paramour of tiger Ho Thi Thau, and Chih, a cleric anxiously telling Dieu and Ho Thi Thau’s story to a trio of hungry tigers can attest. Luckily for Dieu, Ho Thi Thau finds her more interesting than appetizing, with the romantic impulse to see each of her moods—anger and joy and frustration—knowing she will adore them all.

While there may be quibbles over the details of the story, it is safe to say that tigers and humans alike will agree that Ho Thi Thau deserves a little kiss, and that Dieu is just the woman to deliver it.

Many books have kissing in the forest, but how many are about kissing the forest itself?

Fenton has watched countless hunters enter his forest to claim a wish by killing the white-tailed stag. Each hunter has taken: a sip from the stream, a flower from the vine, wood to light a fire. Each hunter has subsequently died.

Prior is different; he takes nothing, instead asking for a god’s assistance in waking his sister from her sleeping sickness. Fenton—who is the forest and the white-tailed stag and a son of Old Nan and also, definitely, a god—decides to pack up the forest and help Prior out.

Where I come from, that sort of thing will get you a little kiss or two at the very least.

The first time Rowan and the Huntress kissed, I half expected Rowan’s lips to stick to the Huntress’ face like a tongue on a light pole in winter.

Luckily, Rowan—the Belle in this Beauty and the Beast retelling—is a thawing influence, and the kiss progresses as kisses should. And thank goodness, as the Huntress desperately needs to be kissed. Isolated, cursed, and haunted by her own callousness, the lonely Huntress is separated from the world by her own past and a literal mile of frozen water.

But in the Huntress’ fortress of ice, love grows like the petals of a winter rose, and little kisses, like hope, spring eternal.

Just because you’re a monster doesn’t mean that you have to be a monster professionally.

Viv is an orc who leaves her past as an adventuring barbarian behind in favor of opening a cafe. In focusing on enjoyment instead of terror, growth instead of destruction, and staying in one place instead of forever roaming, she gives herself and her community a place to find peace.

The romance is almost incidental; as Viv puts down roots, her bond with Tandri naturally blooms. Tandri, too, is tasked with shirking the expectations of a creature of her non-human nature. Together, they reaffirm that each of them is dictated by choice, not destiny: the more powerful force by far. And after coffee, little kisses.