The best books to crush it at dating, and feel great about being single

Why am I passionate about this?

 I was the nerdy kid at school, so when I stumbled upon the world of pick-up artists, and the fact you could learn how to get better at dating, I was all over it! In time my coaching and my company grew with the ideology that we wanted to teach practical skills for dating in a way that was inclusive and ethical. 


I wrote...

Do This, Not That: Dating

By Hayley Quinn,

Book cover of Do This, Not That: Dating

What is my book about?

How do you deal with dating apps, that commitment question, or if you want kids but they don't? Do This, Not That: Dating is here to help with all your relationship situations.

Romantic relationships can be full of challenging situations and emotions, and no matter how passionate, frustrated, excited, or downright angry you feel, it’s important for you to communicate and find a solution that works for you and your partner. Whether you’re struggling to find the right words or simply aren’t sure how to approach a topic, this book will give you the tools you need to move forward…or learn when to let go and move on. In Do This, Not That: Dating, you’ll find eighty common relationship issues covering everything from your first date to your first fight—and beyond. 
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The books I picked & why

Book cover of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

Hayley Quinn Why did I love this book?

Penetrating? Secret Society? Pick Up Artists? Okay you’re going to have to trust me, that despite its nebulous reputation Strauss’ voyage into the underworld of the “pua” community has some merits. Firstly, it’s a fantastically funny, twisted story. Secondly, whilst every “technique” the book advocates to hone your seduction skills is squarely on the side of skeezy, just the idea that you can learn skills for dating is cool. It gripped me 15 years ago, and started me on my quest in the dating industry. 

By Neil Strauss,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Game as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

When Neil Strauss a self-proclaimed AFC (average frustrated chump) withdraws $500 and signs-up for a workshop with notorious pick-up artist Mystery, he embarks upon a life-changing journey into the bizarre underworld of 'players'. Creating their own vernacular and codes of honour, these are men that have devoted their lives to perfecting techniques of seduction. In the course of the next two years, Neil transforms himself from a frustrated, insecure journalist into the quick thinking, smooth talking Style, a character irresistible to women. Then, as he is voted The World's Number One Pick-up Artist, he falls for a woman who could…


Book cover of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—And Keep—Love

Hayley Quinn Why did I love this book?

Do you find yourself perennially trapped in relationships that can’t give you what you want? The answer may lie in your attachment style. Attached is an incredibly useful book, which provides a model for relationships that may well help you to understand why you’re always choosing the wrong person. The book uses self-reporting quizzes to help you to figure out your attachment style, and whilst that might sound like a bad horoscope. Attached is genuinely insightful, and will deliver a eureka moment or two. 

By Amir Levine, Rachel Heller,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Attached as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.”
—The New York Times

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John…


Book cover of The Art of Seduction

Hayley Quinn Why did I love this book?

When I’m coaching people to improve their dating lives, I like to teach them that there’s not one way to be attractive. Creating attraction with someone is like rummaging around in your archetype toolbox and finding what makes you uniquely attractive. Robert Greene takes a literal romp through fictional, and historical seductive characters to get to the essence of what makes them so compelling; along the way cajoling you to learn their tricks. 

By Robert Greene,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Art of Seduction as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A fascinating inside look at the nature of seduction uses a vast array of sources, from Freud and Nietzsche to Cleopatra and Josephine Bonaparte, to uncover the truth about this important feature of the human animal.


Book cover of You

Hayley Quinn Why did I love this book?

Okay, so this novel is technically about a deviant, sociopathic stalker. However, written from the first person perspective, you’ll find yourself oscillating between shock and admiration at Kepnes’ antihero Joe Goldburg, who’s on a Machiavellian quest to make Beck fall in love with him. Whilst, Joe is a sexual perpetrator, Kepnes also gifts him with fantastic wit, borrowable chat-up lines, and the ability to hold a glib mirror to the world of modern dating. 

By Caroline Kepnes,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

*** NOW A MAJOR NETFLIX SERIES ***
'Thriller of the Year' Daily Mail
'Hypnotic and scary' Stephen King
'Examines the fine line between seduction and stalking . . . Ludicrously readable' Guardian

When aspiring writer Guinevere Beck strides into the bookstore where Joe works, he is instantly smitten.

But there's more to Joe than Beck realises and much more to Beck than her perfect facade. And the obsessive relationship quickly spirals into a whirlwind of deadly consequences...

A chilling account of unrelenting, terrifying deceit, Caroline Kepnes' You is a thriller more perversely clever and dangerously twisted than any YOU have…


Book cover of One Day

Hayley Quinn Why did I love this book?

We all need a good love story, especially one that (spoiler alert) isn’t contingent on a Walt Disney-esque happy ending. One Day follows the near misses of Emma and Dexter over decades of almost falling in love. As you may expect, it’s a bittersweet, high-brow romcom, that gives inspiration to those who are still searching. 

By David Nicholls,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked One Day as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'ONE DAY is destined to be a modern classic' - Daily Mirror Twenty years, two people, ONE DAY. The multi-million copy bestseller that captures the experiences of a generation. 'I can imagine you at forty,' she said, a hint of malice in her voice. 'I can picture it right now.' He smiled without opening his eyes. 'Go on then.' 15th July 1988. Emma and Dexter meet for the first time on the night of their graduation. Tomorrow they must go their separate ways. So where will they be on this one day next year? And the year after that? And…


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Book cover of Benghazi! A New History of the Fiasco that Pushed America and its World to the Brink

Ethan Chorin Author Of Benghazi! A New History of the Fiasco that Pushed America and its World to the Brink

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Story-lover Middle East expert Curious Iconoclast Optimist

Ethan's 3 favorite reads in 2023

What is my book about?

Benghazi: A New History is a look back at the enigmatic 2012 attack on the US mission in Benghazi, Libya, its long-tail causes, and devastating (and largely unexamined) consequences for US domestic politics and foreign policy. It contains information not found elsewhere, and is backed up by 40 pages of citations and interviews with more than 250 key protagonists, experts, and witnesses.

So far, the book is the main -- and only -- antidote to a slew of early partisan “Benghazi” polemics, and the first to put the attack in its longer term historical, political, and social context. If you want to understand some of the events that have shaped present-day America, from political polarization and the election of Donald Trump, to January 6, the US withdrawal from Afghanistan, Russian expansionism, and the current Israel-Hamas war, I argue, you need to understand some of the twists and turns of America's most infamous "non-scandal, scandal.”

I was in Benghazi well before, during, and after the attack as a US diplomat and co-director of a medical NGO. I have written three books, and have been a contributor to The NYT, Foreign Affairs, Forbes, Salon, The Financial Times, Newsweek, and others.

By Ethan Chorin,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Benghazi! A New History of the Fiasco that Pushed America and its World to the Brink as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

On September 11, 2012, Al Qaeda proxies attacked and set fire to the US mission in Benghazi, Libya, killing a US Ambassador and three other Americans.  The attack launched one of the longest and most consequential 'scandals' in US history, only to disappear from public view once its political value was spent. 

Written in a highly engaging narrative style by one of a few Western experts on Libya, and decidely non-partisan, Benghazi!: A New History is the first to provide the full context for an event that divided, incited, and baffled most of America for more than three years, while silently reshaping…


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