My husband of 35 glorious years died of Pancreatic cancer in 2020. In two months, as COVID slammed, we had to put our beloved dog down, my husband’s lesson horse went hooves up, my husband died, I replaced two HVAC units and a water heater. I am a writer/journalist whose style is conversational. Writing about my grief maelstrom as if telling a friend focused me on the dark humor. My book Horse Sluts and articles in Horse Nation and other equine and/or mature-focused magazines are written in the same, “I’m no expert, but this is my experience” POV. I know the tone that helps.
I wrote
Adrift on a Sea of Grief: (With a Quart of Ice Cream and a Fifth of Gin)
I’m not a fan of memoirs – especially grief journeys, but the infusion of the life preserver of childhood Korean food poked the core of me – the memories of the joy of food in my own home. The journey through the horrors of dignity-robbing cancer and the universal search for a new identity forged from loss was a mirror for me.
I recognized the trials of caretaking – the longing to prepare tempting food for her mother, who couldn’t eat it. Zaumer shares that H Mart is where “parachute” kids went to find the type of noodle that reminded them of home. Food, loss, and emotional survival are deliciously woven into Crying at H Mart. I cried at Kroger. I still do.
The New York Times bestseller from the Grammy-nominated indie rockstar Japanese Breakfast, an unflinching, deeply moving memoir about growing up mixed-race, Korean food, losing her Korean mother, and forging her own identity in the wake of her loss.
'As good as everyone says it is and, yes, it will have you in tears. An essential read for anybody who has lost a loved one, as well as those who haven't' - Marie-Claire
In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer,…
I felt a kinship at Schulz’s expression of dislike for the “well-intentioned” euphemisms for dying.
Her visual explanations of what well-wishers really feel and the almost cinematic movement through her experience in losing her father reveal a skilled writer. I’m drawn more to fine writing than trodding through a stranger’s personal journey. The confusion of grief is shared in a scholarly manner including literary references that show loss is a time-worn path.
The self-assignment as torch bearer for our focus of grief is another mantle I recognized. I have found that the legacy of the one we’ve lost becomes a painful need. As with Schulz, keeping the flame burning relieves the ache until the ache burns out in its time. An uplift from the loss is Schulz’s “finding” of love. Hope pushes through the sorrow.
'Extraordinary . . . a profound and beautiful book . . . a moving meditation on grief and loss, but also a sparky celebration of joy, wonder and the miracle of love . . . Witty, wise, beautifully structured and written in clear, singing prose' - Sunday Times
Longlisted for the 2022 National Book Award for Nonfiction
Eighteen months before Kathryn Schulz's beloved father died, she met the woman she would marry. In Lost & Found, she weaves the stories of those relationships into a brilliant exploration of how all our lives are shaped by loss and discovery - from…
“Bat shit is patient.” Simple, clear, dead on to describe the crazy life-clowns that leap from dark corners as I fend off grief... loss.
I Was Better... may not be a “grief” book, per se, but Fierstein dances us through the fears, struggles, and losses in his journey to live a life he wants. His quote, “Look back, but don’t stare” felt as though he quoted it for me to help deal with many joyous and painful memories of my husband.
I Was Better... is a tropical island where I could escape the squalls of my life of loss. I relished his musicals, strode the flamboyant streets of New York, and was embraced by Fierstein’s poignant and dearly funny honesty. His rage against the night was mine too. He and I kept dog paddling – together.
NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A poignant and hilarious memoir from the cultural icon, gay rights activist, and four-time Tony Award–winning actor and playwright, revealing never-before-told stories of his personal struggles and conflict, of sex and romance, and of his fabled career
Harvey Fierstein’s legendary career has transported him from community theater in Brooklyn, to the lights of Broadway, to the absurd excesses of Hollywood and back. He’s received accolades and awards for acting in and/or writing an incredible string of hit plays, films, and TV shows: Hairspray, Fiddler on the Roof, Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, Cheers, La Cage…
Come on, we who slog through loss need a break from other people’s grief. I offer The Cruelest Month as one of my favorite L. Penny books in which to escape.
I escape to the façade of the idyl of Three Pines. Smell the brioche from Gabri and Olivier’s Bistro, dodge an insult from Ruth walking her duck. Despite betrayal and mortal danger, Inspector Gamache is sure to prevail. I need these people.
Death is complicated by human emotional frailty in The Cruelest Month as death is in “true” life. The séance at the evil Hadley House offers hope, for some, of bringing back lost souls. I too sometimes yearn to bring back my wandering souls. Penny has talent with phrasing, braiding of stories within the story, and professorial knowledge of the arcane. All a break from “dealing” with the mire of loss.
'No one does atmospheric like Louise Penny' ELLY GRIFFITHS
There is more to solving a crime than following the clues. Welcome to Chief Inspector Gamache's world of facts and feelings.
It's Easter, and on a glorious Spring day in peaceful Three Pines, someone waits for night to fall. They plan to raise the dead . . .
When Chief Inspector Gamache of the Surete du Quebec arrives the next morning, he faces an unusual crime scene. A seance in an old abandoned house has gone horrifically wrong and someone has been seemingly frightened to death.
Loss and grief torpedo inner peace. Dogfulness is a tap on the head that reminds me I can rest on islands of serenity.
Loss makes us hold on, to grip. My dog flops down and goes Zen. Instead of pacing through the minefield of my mind, Dogfulness urges me to go for a walk. This book nudges me to “travel hopefully.” Like my dog, every walk is a good walk.
Simple, brief, golden peace filled quotes and reminders. Dogfulness gives me permission to be more present each day. To enjoy acts of kindness, mine, and others towards me. To allow the promise of giving and receiving love again.
Words of support don’t have to come from long, dreary memoirs, airy-fairy self-help books, or “You think you are suffering? I’ll see your tragedy and raise you one” best sellers. Respite can come from a dog.
The path to inner peace? Let your dog show you the way! Dogs have nailed how to enjoy living life to the fullest, in the moment, often at our expense. Dogfulness is an affectionate take on the things dogs do that drive us around the bend, but we love them in spite of their selfish dog-centered behavior.
Something important is taking place in our society today: People are being dogful. At home, at work, in love and relationships, in the back of vehicles, and curled up on the sofa, being dogful is an idea, a new way of being whose…
"Adrift” is an irreverent tacking through the stormy seas of loss. Adrift is a “How It Is” book – a gust against “give-up-itis.” As we struggle to keep our heads above the squall, grasping at normal, we get such sage advice as “You should get a dog.” Get a dog! That’s the solution to the shipwreck that’s my life?
“How are you?” ranks as the most trying question asked of a griever. Answers as to why – and a few snappy retorts for a macabre comedy relief – lighten the journey. We who grieve, feel loss, who need a smile, sail together in Adrift. Bonus – this book is a primer on what not to say to a friend mired in loss.
I’m an OB/GYN, passionate about adventuring beyond what’s expected. This has led me to pivot multiple times in my career, now focusing on writing. I’ve written a play, The Post-Roe Monologues, to elevate women’s stories. I cherish the curiosity that drives outer and inner exploration, and I love memoirs that skillfully weave the two. The books on this list feature extraordinary women who took risks, left comfort and safety, and battled vulnerability to step into the unknown. These authors moved beyond the stories they’d believed about themselves–or that others told about them. They invite you to think about living fuller and bigger lives.
Tap Dancing on Everest, part coming-of-age memoir, part true-survival adventure story, is about a young medical student, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor raised in N.Y.C., who battles self-doubt to serve as the doctor—and only woman—on a remote Everest climb in Tibet.
The team attempts a new route up the East Face without the use of supplemental oxygen, Sherpa support, or chance for rescue. When three climbers disappear during their summit attempt, Zieman reaches the knife edge of her limits and digs deeply to fight for the climbers’ lives and to find her voice.
The plan was outrageous: A small team of four climbers would attempt a new route on the East Face of Mt. Everest, considered the most remote and dangerous side of the mountain, which had only been successfully climbed once before. Unlike the first large team, Mimi Zieman and her team would climb without using supplemental oxygen or porter support. While the unpredictable weather and high altitude of 29,035 feet make climbing Everest perilous in any condition, attempting a new route, with no idea of what obstacles lay ahead, was especially audacious. Team members were expected to push themselves to their…
