My favorite books about the gift of friendship across racial and cultural barriers

I’ve known Phil Yancey as an author-friend for many years. But I’d never heard his personal story in such a poignant, powerful way as this memoir. Yancey grew up in the racist south, absorbing the common prejudices and racist attitudes that permeated the culture, even his religious teaching. But then he worked one summer with Dr. Cherry, a Black scientist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Says Philip: “Here was the smartest man I’d ever met, and it just blew away all the categories I’d been taught”—especially the lie that blacks are innately inferior. From that point on, Philip discovered what I discovered in my life journey—relationships with people different than you enriches your life. Each person, each culture, has gifts to share.

As a white college student, Chris Rice volunteered at Voice of Calvary Ministries in Jackson, MS, where he met Spencer Perkins, son of African American civil rights activist and elder statesman, John Perkins. Chris and Spencer began a lifelong friendship and partnership. My husband and I got to know both Chris and Spencer as our paths crossed in developing Christian community and relationships across racial boundaries. As Chris so poignantly writes in this book, cross-racial relationships are not always easy and take a lot of grace—but are 100% worth it. This book became one of my important books about grace in relationships as I worked on my series—so grateful!

Two people who worked for Wendell Berry’s family when he was a child had a profound effect on his life—“Aunt Georgie” Ashby and Nick Watkins. With the simplicity of their lives birthing profound wisdom, Berry credits them for helping to expose the hidden wound of racism and putting his feet on a path to reject the deeply ingrained racism of his youth. The result is a deeply thoughtful book of reflections and wisdom on the cancer that infects our society and what we must do to lance and heal it—if we will. A “must read” on your bookshelf.

My husband and I got to know Brenda Salter McNeil when we were members of the same multi-cultural church. Before she ever wrote this book, we knew her as a reconciler with a passion for racial justice—especially in the churches. In this book, she invites all of us—white, black, brown, yellow—to the table for honest and passionate conversations about the reconciling nature of the gospel. When things got tough and we struggled with some church issues, Brenda was more than encouraging and supportive—not with easy answers, but with the solid foundation of love between brothers and sisters of faith.

I didn’t know Rachel Held Evans personally, though I did meet her at one of the “Why Christian?” conferences she co-hosted with Nadia Bolz-Weber. But Rachel, who grew up in a white conservative culture like I did, boldly gave me permission to struggle with my faith, to dare to doubt cultural overlays on the basic truths of the gospel. This book—only partially completed when she died suddenly a couple years ago but finished from her various blogs and other writings by author-friend, Jeff Chu—continues to remind me that “wholehearted faith” is to “love God with my whole being and to love my neighbor as myself.” The two greatest commandments. It’s as simple—and as difficult—as that.