It is said that Michelangelo could see a statue inside of a block of marble. I believe I have a similar gift – I can find the most idiotic angle to any given story or event and free it into the world. Okay, so some gifts are better than others but this “talent” has afforded me the ability to stay relatively sane in a completely nutso era. Relatively. And to underscore my qualifications, I would ask the reader to take a gander at my sample title below. I rest my case.
I wrote
Zombies for Zombies: Advice and Etiquette for the Living Dead
Talk about standing the test of time. Good grief, I could lead with any number of Vonnegut books but this one gets the vote because I’m a true believer in the art of the short story. And maybe it’s because I’m a songwriter first -- I love telling a story in a short amount of time. Vonnegut was a master at that. And if you’re looking for absurdity, the classic tale, “Harrison Bergeron,” knocks it out of the park. Here’s the thing, though, about great absurdity: it’s always got an element of truth to it. Like satire, it needs to be rooted in a level of believability. This book will be at the top of my list forever.
A MASTERFUL COLLECTION OF TWENTY-FIVE SHORT STORIES FROM THE INIMITABLE AUTHOR OF SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5, KURT VONNEGUT
'Vonnegut is George Orwell, Dr Caligari and Flash Gordon compounded into one writer...a zany but moral mad scientist' Time
A diabolical government asserts control by eliminating orgasms. A scientist discovers the secret to unlocking instant happiness, with unexpected consequences. In an America where everyone is equal every which way, a tennage boy plans to overthrow the system.
Welcome to the Monkey House gathers together twenty-five of Kurt Vonnegut's short stories from the 1950s and 1960s. Shot through with Vonnegut's singular humour, wit and bewilderment…
The original Looney Tunes should be required viewing for children and adults alike. When I’m King of the World (cue the ominous cellos – wait, we’ve only got one cello? What the hell?), that will be one of my first mandates. Seriously, this book has every beautifully dopey invention from the Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner series, along with a few extras, and the design of the book is stellar. As the cover says so succinctly: “Quality is our #1 dream.”
This hilarious catalogue from Acme Products features loads of useless items - many of which were used by Wile E. Coyote himself in pursuit of the Roadrunner. Starting with a letter to the consumer from Acme President, Canteerya Winan, the book then goes on to showcase page after page of Acme products in all their glory - including both the classics and a whole slew of new and untested products.
This is one of those books you can open to any page and immediately start laughing. It resembles an encyclopedia but every given subject is shredded with wit and insight. Personally, I’m eternally grateful to the folks at The Onion for trying to keep up with the organically occurring absurdity in modern life that now has rendered most satire obsolete. It must be a whole lot like dogpaddling. In Jell-O. In the dead of winter.
Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE is packed with valuable information-such as the life…
This hard-to-find book is a masterpiece and I’m not using the term loosely. Doug Kenney and P.J. O’Rourke were responsible for much of this whip-smart gem. The writers perfectly mock every mundane aspect of much of high school life. (For what it’s worth, I genuinely enjoyed high school, but was aslo painfully aware of the deep-seated screwiness of much of the atmosphere.) If you can find this, snap it up. You won’t regret it.
In honor of the thirty-ninth reunion of the class of 1964 of C. Estes Kefauver High School in Dacron, Ohio, a new edition of their hilarious yearbook brings back such zany characters as Chuck U. Farley, Maria Teresa Spermatozoa, Purdy "Psycho" Lee Spackle, and Larry Kroger, accompanied by a "Where are they now?" addendum and a DVD of the popular film Animal House. 100,000 first printing.
From 1932-33, Groucho and Chico (two of my role models) appeared on a radio show aired on NBC. It was about a shady law firm (Groucho is Waldorf T. Flywheel – a fine lawyerly name) and you can imagine how that goes. This book contains the scripts of about two dozen episodes, I think. If you’re a Marx Brothers fan, this is a ton of fun. And if you’re not, then I must believe you’re some variety of filthy lout and I would ask you to stand away from me.
This is a collection of radio scripts of the comedy series starring Groucho, Waldorf and Chico Marx which ran for six months from November 1932. They have recently been discovered and are published here for the first time.
Published in 2009, Z4Z was my first book. The far-fetched premise of this jaunty number involves a global out-of-control virus that wreaks havoc on people and economies (Uhhhh – scratch that far-fetched part…) Anyway, this is a self-help book/system for the recently bitten, offering numerous cheerful products and activities to help slow down the spread of infection. It also features some mighty brilliant artwork by Mr. Daniel Heard. Absurd? Yup, but not as much as, say, Matt Gaetz’s hair. Woof!
As a child, I lived in a small valley sheltered from the night city lights. I could see the stars, and from that time, that is where my imagination dwelled. As a teenager, I read several of the books I have listed here, and from that point, I was inspired to read more and also to write myself. I sincerely believe that despite our current problems, humanity will outlive its troubled childhood and reach for the stars. We are destined for the stars, and only in the works of science fiction writers is that future explored. The books below helped me to become a successful author in my own right.
An alien starship appears in the Solar System! Humanity faces a glorious future, or total extinction, and only Joe Falcon can make the choice. Never would Joe have imagined it would fall to him to make the decision that would alter the destiny of two worlds, launching humanity towards a glorious future, or to extinction.
Falcon's Call is an action packed dive into the unknown, written in the style of the great, classic, science-fiction stories. If you like surprising plot twists, compelling characters and a hero who actually cares, you must read this new novel by Mike Waller.
Reader's Favorite Gold Medal winner 2019 B.R.A.G. Medallion Honoree 2019 Chill With A Book Premier Award 2019
In a heart-pounding battle for humanity's survival, one man holds the key to a glorious future or utter extinction.
In a race against time, Earth and Mars race to claim a derelict alien ship as it enters the Solar System, both aware that whichever planet succeeds might in so doing achieve technological advantage over the other. But who should they send? Joe Falcon, an unlikely candidate, never saw himself as the "right" person. Accompanied by a crew of misfits, each fleeing their own…
