Monsters in Love

By Resmaa Menakem,

Book cover of Monsters in Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy-and What You Can Do About It

Book description

Conflict is a natural part of any intimate relationship. Yet most couples either avoid it or try to smooth over their differences. This results in at least one partner compromising their integrity-and stunting their own growth.

Monsters in Love challenges the idea that conflict between partners is unhealthy or something…

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Why read it?

1 author picked Monsters in Love as one of their favorite books. Why do they recommend it?

The theme of this book is growing up and relating in a way that honors your own integrity.

Menakem is a relationship therapist and a long-time married person who promotes the idea of clean pain vs. dirty pain. Clean pain is doing the hard work of speaking what is true for you in your relationship. Dirty pain is blaming or manipulating your partner.

With a rare and rigorous honesty, I learned from this book that conflict is actually necessary for healthy relationships. 

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A fresh take on the difference between trauma and hardship in order to help accurately spot the difference and avoid over-generalizations.

The book integrates the latest findings in brain science, child development, psycho-social context, theory, and clinical experiences to make the case that trauma is much more than a cluster…

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