Drinking

This is another book I read before I ever dreamed it might apply to me.

Caroline describes her experience with anorexia, alcoholism, and intimacy issues while working as a journalist in a way that I found incredibly compelling. And when I realized I had the same problems, I found her writing incredibly comforting as well.

I’m so sad that she ended up passing away from lung cancer way too young, but I’m so happy she left us this memoir.

This book came out in 1996, six years after I got sober. It was the first memoir I read about alcohol abuse and the title and subtitle were the things that immediately grabbed my attention. For 25 years, I was in love with the way drinking made me feel (or better yet, not feel), so I knew I would like this book. And even though, at the time, Knapp’s credentials were way out of my league, I related to so much of her story. Like going to a meeting, it made me feel less alone. 

Knapp’s book felt like a friend holding my hand through my early stages of recovery. Her cool and smooth language brilliantly highlights the way alcoholics rationalize the most self-centered actions. I was on perma-nod throughout the read. Knapp describes her obsession with alcohol like falling in love and then breaking up with an abusive lover. There is no more perfect description of the diabolical disease that ends so many lives. Knapp asks many of the same questions I did: “Am I an alcoholic? Was my bottom really that bad?” highlighting how the alcoholic’s mind is never recovered. If not treated,… show more.

Knapp dazzled me with her honesty about her addiction and her battle with its hold on her. The courage it takes for her to admit she has a problem and her journey to recovery are both astounding and relatable. I was also so glad to read about a female struggle with trauma and addiction.

Knapp writes about her life and struggles with anorexia and alcoholism with the same attention to detail that she put into her career as a journalist. The writing is witty, heartfelt, and encouraging to any alcoholic and any woman struggling to find their true worth.

Knapp’s memoir is one of the best books ever written about “functional” alcoholism. In her mid-30s, Knapp knew she was drinking too much, but she told herself that a “real alcoholic” would drink in the morning (which she never did), or be so hungover that she’d miss work (which she never did) or get fired (which she never was). Still, every time she went to a party she would solemnly swear to herself that she’d stop after three or four glasses of wine. A few hours later, after five, seven, or 10 glasses, she’d be smashed. Lying in bed on… show more.