The best men’s self-development books that don’t totally suck

Why am I passionate about this?

In 2013, my father–an amazing man who was the picture of health–died suddenly and unexpectedly while at the gym. At the time, I was miserable and unfulfilled. My father’s passing sent me down a path of deep self-exploration, where I realized that life is simply too short and unpredictable to settle for less than what you truly want. As I endeavored to change my life, I became a certified life coach, relationship coach, and happiness trainer, initially to help myself, but soon discovered a passion for helping others. I've been lucky to have incredible mentors like Dr. Robert Glover. My unconventional brand of self-help has been featured in numerous publications.


I wrote...

The Big Stick: Collected and Applied Wisdom from the Teachings of Dr. Robert Glover

By Tony Endelman, Robert Glover,

Book cover of The Big Stick: Collected and Applied Wisdom from the Teachings of Dr. Robert Glover

What is my book about?

In the world of self-improvement, there is perhaps no other book that has impacted the lives of men as profoundly as Dr. Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy. Fans and followers of Dr. Glover might also be familiar with his two additional books, his transformative online courses, and his vast library of podcast recordings, Q&A forums, articles, worksheets, and other resources for both men and women. This book pulls from all of it and more.

Truly a man’s guide to (almost) everything, it encapsulates nearly 40 years of Dr. Glover's groundbreaking work as a marriage and family therapist, a dating and relationship coach, an educator, a public speaker, and a pioneer in men’s self-improvement.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life

Tony Endelman Why did I love this book?

This book didn’t just change my life; it may have saved it.

Countless men across the world will say the same thing. It is an eye-opener. A game changer. A big stick upside the head. It turned my whole world upside down in the best possible way. 

While in the throes of depression and heartbreak, this was the only book that put a name to the beliefs and behaviors that seemed to govern my existence. It gave me the tools to develop more confidence, more resilience, and more self-respect. It also provided a roadmap to a better life. 

By Robert A. Glover,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked No More Mr. Nice Guy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.” Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”

“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not…


Book cover of The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

Tony Endelman Why did I love this book?

While No More Mr. Nice Guy may have saved my life, this book has repeatedly saved my ass.

In the book, Dr. Smith uses his years of clinical experience (and his distinct sense of humor) to offer men a plan to attract the right women and confidently move on from the wrong women. This was a plan that I desperately needed. 

This book forced me to examine my unhealthy relationship patterns. It showed me how to meet amazing women and avoid emotionally unstable women. It taught me how to identify red flags, see women more clearly, and have healthier partnerships.

By Shawn T. Smith,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Tactical Guide to Women as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

For men, love is a high-stakes gamble. The right woman can be the best part of a man's life, and the wrong one can lead to personal and financial ruin. In today's climate, no man should venture into romance without a reliable risk-management strategy.

The Tactical Guide to Women delivers a solid plan for allowing the right women into your life, and keeping the wrong ones at a safe distance. You'll discover how to:

Identify good women of low drama and high character Reduce your vulnerability to women who seem perfect for you--but aren't Spot the early warning signs of…


Book cover of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

Tony Endelman Why did I love this book?

Though not a traditional self-development book, this book made me think, made me laugh, and made me question the way I’d been going about life.

It is a fascinating and highly entertaining read that turns conventional self-help advice on its head. Among other things, it introduced me to an alternative “negative path” to happiness that requires us to embrace what we spend our lives trying to avoid.

In the book, Burkeman talks to experimental psychologists, terrorism experts, Buddhists, hardheaded business consultants, Greek philosophers, and modern-day gurus, and they all argue that our constant effort to be happy is exactly what’s making us all f*cking miserable.

The book's subtitle is Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, "kind of perfect for a guy like me." 

By Oliver Burkeman,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Antidote as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Self-help books don't seem to work. Few of the many advantages of modern life seem capable of lifting our collective mood. Wealth—even if you can get it—doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Romance, family life, and work often bring as much stress as joy. We can't even agree on what "happiness" means. So are we engaged in a futile pursuit? Or are we just going about it the wrong way?

Looking both east and west, in bulletins from the past and from far afield, Oliver Burkeman introduces us to an unusual group of people who share a single, surprising way of…


Book cover of Deep Meditation: Pathway to Personal Freedom

Tony Endelman Why did I love this book?

Whenever I recommend meditation to other men, they all ask the same questions I once asked: How the hell do I meditate? What exactly am I supposed to do? So, I’m supposed to sit there for how long? And think about nothing?

All the answers are in this book. Yogani is the author of the Advanced Yoga Practices (AYP) system, covering all aspects of Full-Scope Yoga Practice.

Unlike other books, this book actually offers concise step-by-step instructions for a method of meditation that has allowed me to experience more inner peace, creativity, and energy in my daily life.

By Yogani,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Deep Meditation as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Deep Meditation is a concise step-by-step instruction book for a simple yet powerful method of daily meditation that will systematically unfold inner peace, creativity and energy in daily life. Whether you are seeking an effective tool for reducing stress, improving your relationships, achieving more success in your career, or for revealing the ultimate truth of life within yourself, Deep Meditation can be a vital resource for cultivating your personal freedom and enlightenment. 

Yogani is the author of groundbreaking books on highly effective spiritual practices, including: Advanced Yoga Practices - Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living (two comprehensive user-friendly textbooks) and The…


Book cover of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

Tony Endelman Why did I love this book?

David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., is a pioneering researcher in the field of consciousness and is internationally lauded as a lecturer, physician, and scientist.

This book gave me practical techniques to help remove some of the inner blocks that always seemed to stand in the way of my happiness. The techniques in the book can be applied to all areas of life, from health and wealth to sex and relationships.

By David R. Hawkins,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Letting Go as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A powerful mechanism to help you surrender anything holding you back on your path to Enlightenment and find fulfilment, truth and spiritual growth.

Letting Go describes a simple and effective means by which to let go of the obstacles to Enlightenment and become free of negativity. During the many decades of the author's clinical psychiatric practice, the primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to relieve human suffering in all of its many forms.

The inner mechanism of surrender was found to be of great practical benefit and is described in this book. Dr Hawkins's previous books focused…


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Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

By Rebecca Wellington,

Book cover of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

Rebecca Wellington Author Of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

I am adopted. For most of my life, I didn’t identify as adopted. I shoved that away because of the shame I felt about being adopted and not truly fitting into my family. But then two things happened: I had my own biological children, the only two people I know to date to whom I am biologically related, and then shortly after my second daughter was born, my older sister, also an adoptee, died of a drug overdose. These sequential births and death put my life on a new trajectory, and I started writing, out of grief, the history of adoption and motherhood in America. 

Rebecca's book list on straight up, real memoirs on motherhood and adoption

What is my book about?

I grew up thinking that being adopted didn’t matter. I was wrong. This book is my journey uncovering the significance and true history of adoption practices in America. Now, in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over women’s reproductive rights places an even greater emphasis on adoption. As a mother, historian, and adoptee, I am uniquely qualified to uncover the policies and practices of adoption.

The history of adoption, reframed through the voices of adoptees like me, and mothers who have been forced to relinquish their babies, blows apart old narratives about adoption, exposing the fallacy that adoption is always good.

In this story, I reckon with the pain and unanswered questions of my own experience and explore broader issues surrounding adoption in the United States, including changing legal policies, sterilization, and compulsory relinquishment programs, forced assimilation of babies of color and Indigenous babies adopted into white families, and other liabilities affecting women, mothers, and children. Now is the moment we must all hear these stories.

Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

By Rebecca Wellington,

What is this book about?

Nearly every person in the United States is affected by adoption. Adoption practices are woven into the fabric of American society and reflect how our nation values human beings, particularly mothers. In the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over women's reproductive rights places an even greater emphasis on adoption. As a mother, historian, and adoptee, Rebecca C. Wellington is uniquely qualified to uncover the policies and practices of adoption. Wellington's timely-and deeply researched-account amplifies previously marginalized voices and exposes the social and racial biases embedded in the United States' adoption industry.…


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