The best books about dating toward marriage

Why am I passionate about this?

Marcia Naomi Berger's passion is to help people create lasting, fulfilling marriages. An experienced clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and medical school clinical faculty member, Berger has held senior-level positions in child welfare, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry. She says, "I stayed single for a long time because of my parent's divorce. Now happily married for over thirty-four years, I fill my books with the hard-earned wisdom I've gained professionally and personally."  


I wrote...

Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

By Marcia Naomi Berger,

Book cover of Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love

What is my book about?

If you want to marry, you can! With warmth, wisdom, and humor, Marriage Minded tells you how to overcome obstacles, meet a potential partner, date successfully, and create a wonderful marriage. You'll learn what qualities you need in a partner for lasting happiness, the great ones you'll offer, and how you can grow. Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love is the most thorough book of its kind; it presents over 100 topics alphabetically. Marriage Minded is friendly and easy to read, covering each subject concisely. The index can guide you directly to what interests you. The real-life stories show how singles of all ages became happily married.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did I love this book?

I especially like this reader-friendly book because of its thoroughness, honesty, and wise advice. The authors are a married couple and social workers who draw from decades of experience counseling couples, leading workshops and seminars, and their marriage. I mention honesty because I'm impressed with the authors' openness, integrity, and conversational style.

Whether you're already married or hope to soon or someday, you'll probably benefit from how Linda and Charlie freely share knowledge gained from their successes and some embarrassing mistakes they've survived and corrected during their fifty-year, fulfilling marriage. Their commitment to growing as individuals and as a couple can be contagious, so check out this book and be prepared to stretch!

By Linda Bloom, Charlie Bloom,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What if you could learn important relationship lessons now, rather than after you make the mistakes that most couples make? You can, and this best-selling book will point the way!
Linda and Charlie Bloom were in their early 20's when they met and fell in love. At twenty five they married and their first-born came eighteen months later.

According to Charlie, "We were young and we made a lot of mistakes; enough to fill a book." Fast forward about twenty years.

Charlie's little sister Claire was about to get married and she invited him to read something inspirational at her…


Book cover of If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did I love this book?

I like how author Susan Page gets to the heart of why terrific women who say they want marriage continue to stay single and what they can do about it. Hidden ambivalence is a powerful internal conflict. The author explains how unconscious marriage fears can prevent us from moving forward.

For a long time, I acted out my unconscious ambivalence by finding "warts" or shortcomings in men who wanted a serious relationship. So I can relate to hidden ambivalence as a reason many marriage-minded women stay single.

Susan Page gives many examples of ways people express their ambivalence. I agree with her that living together with no plan to marry is one example, and I admire this author for stating this now that this lifestyle has become so common. Awareness is the first step toward change. This book fosters self-awareness and empowers us to move past what's getting in our way.

By Susan Page,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single? Relationship expert Susan Page asks - and answers - this puzzling question in her classic book. She helps singles sweep aside popular excuses for not finding a mate and helps identify the real reasons love may seem so hard to find. Using revealing anecdotes, case studies and quizzes, Susan reveals ten essential steps to help you define your own plan of action and change your approach to dating and love forever. Are you stuck with a dead-end lover? Learn how to say no to B.T.N (Better Than Nothing) relationships. Are you…


Book cover of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did I love this book?

This book can help many communication-challenged couples. It offers specific guidance on how to talk about topics for partners to address to foster long-term happiness. Couples who are dating and not yet committed will learn if deal-breakers exist by having conversations about whether they want children, what fidelity means to them, whether they're likely to support each other's goals and dreams, and more.

I strongly agree with the authors' ideas about addressing conflict with the goal of understanding rather than winning, making your relationship your top priority to succeed in marriage, and having fun together.

Many happily married people implement the ideas naturally without following the Eight Dates formula. However, as a couples therapist, I know that many will benefit from having the kinds of conversations the authors prescribe. I'm recommending this book to couples in my practice.

By John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams , Rachel Carlton Abrams

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Eight Dates as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Happily Ever After is not by chance - it's By Choice.

John and Julie Gottman are cofounders of the Gottman Institute, bestselling authors, and award-winning researchers. Together, they have a deep understanding of what makes relationships work. Now, they bring that lifetime's worth of knowledge, research, and wisdom to bear in Eight Dates, a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. Eight Dates is written for any serious couple, and its dates are structured around the concepts of trust, dealing with conflict, sex and intimacy,…


Book cover of First Date Stories: Women’s Romantic and Ridiculous Midlife Adventures

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did I love this book?

I found this book engaging and fun to read. It's filled with well-written, informative stories of many women's first dates. Some of the dismal dates remind me of the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."

Sometimes my mouth would drop open in shock while reading about a miserable first date. Other stories had happy endings. Some couples continued dating and married. Others had successful first dates because the people liked each other but decided then, or after a few dates, that they weren't a good fit for a romantic relationship.

First Date Stories makes for a friendly, optimistic companion to women experiencing the ups and downs of dating. It reassures them that they are not alone, worthy, and likely to succeed in reaching their goal if they persevere. The implication is that every first date is successful because of the learning it offers. After each story, the author offers lessons or tips from that date.

By Jodi Klein,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked First Date Stories as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Ellen meets Jim at a posh restaurant, hoping for an evening of fine wine and better conversation. Maria sets out on a walk with a man she's been looking forward to meeting. In First Date Stories, these women, and others, enter into initial liaisons with well-honed expectations-and come out on the other side with extraordinary tales to tell.

Chances are, every woman in her mid-thirties and over who is seeking a loving companion has a first date tale of triumph or disaster. Each of the candid and memorable stories Jodi Klein shares here imparts a bit of wisdom-with the help…


Book cover of Choosing ME Before WE: Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love

Marcia Naomi Berger Why did I love this book?

I like this book because the author shares her story of transforming a heartbreaking broken engagement into enhanced self-understanding and a happy marriage. The book is easy to read. As the title suggests, if a woman loves herself before entering a relationship, she'll choose wisely instead of marrying someone who's not right for her to prove she deserves love.

I'm impressed by the author's affirmation of serendipity, willingness to be open to the unexpected. Christine used to think her future marriage partner should have traits like her ex-fiancé had: average height, a full head of hair, and professional occupation.

Before she felt ready for another serious relationship, Christine writes that she started dating a man who was bald, very tall, and seemed to lack ambition. She found him fun, comfortable, and with excellent character traits. Christine married him.

By Christine Arylo,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Choosing ME Before WE as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Full of sass, soul, and the type of empowering wisdom that no woman should live without, Choosing ME before WE is like a heart-to-heart with your closest girlfriend. And best of all, you’ll discover that your closest girlfriend is your own truest self, inside you, always ready to offer wise, loving advice about what is best for you.

Designed to challenge and guide women to create the relationships they want instead of the ones they often find themselves stuck in, this book is packed with stimulating questions to uncover what’s true for you, powerful techniques to change old habits that…


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Alpha Max

By Mark A. Rayner,

Book cover of Alpha Max

Mark A. Rayner Author Of Alpha Max

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Human shaped Pirate hearted Storytelling addict Creatively inclined

Mark's 3 favorite reads in 2023

What is my book about?

Maximilian Tundra is about to have an existential crisis of cosmic proportions.

When a physical duplicate of him appears in his living room, wearing a tight-fitting silver lamé unitard and speaking with an English accent, Max knows something bad is about to happen. Bad doesn’t cover it. Max discovers he’s the only human being who can prevent the end of the world, and not just on his planet! In the multiverse, infinite Earths will be destroyed.

Alpha Max

By Mark A. Rayner,

What is this book about?

★★★★★ "Funny, yet deep, this is definitely worth venturing into the multiverse for."

Amazing Stories says: "Snarky as Pratchet, insightful as Stephenson, as full of scathing social commentary as Swift or Voltaire, and weirdly reminiscent of LeGuin, Alpha Max is the only multiverse novel you need this month, or maybe ever."

Maximilian Tundra is about to have an existential crisis of cosmic proportions.

When a physical duplicate of him appears in his living room, wearing a tight-fitting silver lamé unitard and speaking with an English accent, Max knows something bad is about to happen. Bad doesn’t cover it. Max discovers…


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