The best books as life rafts from loss – with a shot of gin

Why am I passionate about this?

My husband of 35 glorious years died of Pancreatic cancer in 2020. In two months, as COVID slammed, we had to put our beloved dog down, my husband’s lesson horse went hooves up, my husband died, I replaced two HVAC units and a water heater. I am a writer/journalist whose style is conversational. Writing about my grief maelstrom as if telling a friend focused me on the dark humor. My book Horse Sluts and articles in Horse Nation and other equine and/or mature-focused magazines are written in the same, “I’m no expert, but this is my experience” POV. I know the tone that helps.


I wrote...

Adrift on a Sea of Grief: (With a Quart of Ice Cream and a Fifth of Gin)

By Candace Wade,

Book cover of Adrift on a Sea of Grief: (With a Quart of Ice Cream and a Fifth of Gin)

What is my book about?

"Adrift” is an irreverent tacking through the stormy seas of loss. Adrift is a “How It Is” book – a gust against “give-up-itis.” As we struggle to keep our heads above the squall, grasping at normal, we get such sage advice as “You should get a dog.” Get a dog! That’s the solution to the shipwreck that’s my life? 

“How are you?” ranks as the most trying question asked of a griever. Answers as to why – and a few snappy retorts for a macabre comedy relief – lighten the journey. We who grieve, feel loss, who need a smile, sail together in Adrift. Bonus – this book is a primer on what not to say to a friend mired in loss.

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Crying in H Mart

Candace Wade Why did I love this book?

I’m not a fan of memoirs – especially grief journeys, but the infusion of the life preserver of childhood Korean food poked the core of me – the memories of the joy of food in my own home. The journey through the horrors of dignity-robbing cancer and the universal search for a new identity forged from loss was a mirror for me.

I recognized the trials of caretaking – the longing to prepare tempting food for her mother, who couldn’t eat it. Zaumer shares that H Mart is where “parachute” kids went to find the type of noodle that reminded them of home. Food, loss, and emotional survival are deliciously woven into Crying at H Mart. I cried at Kroger. I still do.

By Michelle Zauner,

Why should I read it?

9 authors picked Crying in H Mart as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

One of Barack Obama's Favorite Books of 2021

The New York Times bestseller from the Grammy-nominated indie rockstar Japanese Breakfast, an unflinching, deeply moving memoir about growing up mixed-race, Korean food, losing her Korean mother, and forging her own identity in the wake of her loss.

'As good as everyone says it is and, yes, it will have you in tears. An essential read for anybody who has lost a loved one, as well as those who haven't' - Marie-Claire

In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer,…


Book cover of Lost & Found: Reflections on Grief, Gratitude, and Happiness

Candace Wade Why did I love this book?

I felt a kinship at Schulz’s expression of dislike for the “well-intentioned” euphemisms for dying.

Her visual explanations of what well-wishers really feel and the almost cinematic movement through her experience in losing her father reveal a skilled writer. I’m drawn more to fine writing than trodding through a stranger’s personal journey. The confusion of grief is shared in a scholarly manner including literary references that show loss is a time-worn path.

The self-assignment as torch bearer for our focus of grief is another mantle I recognized. I have found that the legacy of the one we’ve lost becomes a painful need. As with Schulz, keeping the flame burning relieves the ache until the ache burns out in its time. An uplift from the loss is Schulz’s “finding” of love. Hope pushes through the sorrow.

By Kathryn Schulz,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Lost & Found as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Extraordinary . . . a profound and beautiful book . . . a moving meditation on grief and loss, but also a sparky celebration of joy, wonder and the miracle of love . . . Witty, wise, beautifully structured and written in clear, singing prose' - Sunday Times

Longlisted for the 2022 National Book Award for Nonfiction

Eighteen months before Kathryn Schulz's beloved father died, she met the woman she would marry. In Lost & Found, she weaves the stories of those relationships into a brilliant exploration of how all our lives are shaped by loss and discovery - from…


Book cover of I Was Better Last Night: A Memoir

Candace Wade Why did I love this book?

“Bat shit is patient.” Simple, clear, dead on to describe the crazy life-clowns that leap from dark corners as I fend off grief... loss.

I Was Better... may not be a “grief” book, per se, but Fierstein dances us through the fears, struggles, and losses in his journey to live a life he wants. His quote, “Look back, but don’t stare” felt as though he quoted it for me to help deal with many joyous and painful memories of my husband.

I Was Better... is a tropical island where I could escape the squalls of my life of loss. I relished his musicals, strode the flamboyant streets of New York, and was embraced by Fierstein’s poignant and dearly funny honesty. His rage against the night was mine too. He and I kept dog paddling – together.

By Harvey Fierstein,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Was Better Last Night as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A poignant and hilarious memoir from the cultural icon, gay rights activist, and four-time Tony Award–winning actor and playwright, revealing never-before-told stories of his personal struggles and conflict, of sex and romance, and of his fabled career

Harvey Fierstein’s legendary career has transported him from community theater in Brooklyn, to the lights of Broadway, to the absurd excesses of Hollywood and back. He’s received accolades and awards for acting in and/or writing an incredible string of hit plays, films, and TV shows: Hairspray,  Fiddler on the Roof, Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, Cheers, La Cage…


Book cover of The Cruelest Month

Candace Wade Why did I love this book?

Come on, we who slog through loss need a break from other people’s grief. I offer The Cruelest Month as one of my favorite L. Penny books in which to escape.

I escape to the façade of the idyl of Three Pines. Smell the brioche from Gabri and Olivier’s Bistro, dodge an insult from Ruth walking her duck. Despite betrayal and mortal danger, Inspector Gamache is sure to prevail. I need these people.

Death is complicated by human emotional frailty in The Cruelest Month as death is in “true” life. The séance at the evil Hadley House offers hope, for some, of bringing back lost souls. I too sometimes yearn to bring back my wandering souls. Penny has talent with phrasing, braiding of stories within the story, and professorial knowledge of the arcane. All a break from “dealing” with the mire of loss.

By Louise Penny,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Cruelest Month as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'No one does atmospheric like Louise Penny' ELLY GRIFFITHS

There is more to solving a crime than following the clues.
Welcome to Chief Inspector Gamache's world of facts and feelings.

It's Easter, and on a glorious Spring day in peaceful Three Pines, someone waits for night to fall. They plan to raise the dead . . .

When Chief Inspector Gamache of the Surete du Quebec arrives the next morning, he faces an unusual crime scene. A seance in an old abandoned house has gone horrifically wrong and someone has been seemingly frightened to death.

In idyllic Three Pines, terrible…


Book cover of Dogfulness: The Path to Inner Peace

Candace Wade Why did I love this book?

Loss and grief torpedo inner peace. Dogfulness is a tap on the head that reminds me I can rest on islands of serenity.

Loss makes us hold on, to grip. My dog flops down and goes Zen. Instead of pacing through the minefield of my mind, Dogfulness urges me to go for a walk. This book nudges me to “travel hopefully.” Like my dog, every walk is a good walk.

Simple, brief, golden peace filled quotes and reminders. Dogfulness gives me permission to be more present each day. To enjoy acts of kindness, mine, and others towards me. To allow the promise of giving and receiving love again.

Words of support don’t have to come from long, dreary memoirs, airy-fairy self-help books, or “You think you are suffering? I’ll see your tragedy and raise you one” best sellers. Respite can come from a dog.

By Susanna Geoghegan,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Dogfulness as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The path to inner peace?  Let your dog show you the way!  Dogs have nailed how to enjoy living life to the fullest, in the moment, often at our expense.  Dogfulness is an affectionate take on the things dogs do that drive us around the bend, but we love them in spite of their selfish dog-centered behavior.

Something important is taking place in our society today:  People are being dogful.  At home, at work, in love and relationships, in the back of vehicles, and curled up on the sofa, being dogful is an idea, a new way of being whose…


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Feral Maril & Her Little Brother Carol

By Leslie Tall Manning,

Book cover of Feral Maril & Her Little Brother Carol

Leslie Tall Manning Author Of Maggie's Dream

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

Author Mentor Laugher Research nut Avid reader

Leslie's 3 favorite reads in 2023

What is my book about?

Winner of the Literary Titan Book Award

Bright but unassuming Marilyn Jones has some grown-up decisions to make, especially after Mama goes to prison for drugs and larceny. With no one to take care of them, Marilyn and her younger, mentally challenged brother, Carol, get tossed into the foster care system. While shuffling from one home to another, Marilyn makes it her mission to find the Tan Man, a mysterious man from her babyhood she believes holds the key to her family’s happiness.

But Marilyn’s quest is halted when her daddy, an ex-con she has never met, is chosen by the courts as the new guardian. Caleb Jones wants something more than a father-daughter relationship. He sends Carol far away, where the boy won’t be a hindrance to his plans. Marilyn devises a plan of her own: to locate her little brother, kidnap him, and run away.

Independence, however, often comes at a high price.

As Marilyn weathers the unexpected and often brutal storms of her childhood and adolescence, hope becomes her ally as she winds through small southern towns, wrapping herself around an assortment of hearts along the way. With unexpected help from a caring social worker, a carnival of misfits, her first true love, and even the elusive Tan Man himself, Marilyn will discover that “family” isn’t always what we imagine it to be.

"A dazzling piece that delves deep into the themes of survival, the casualties of self-discovery, and the power of familial ties." ~ Prairies Book Review

Feral Maril & Her Little Brother Carol

By Leslie Tall Manning,

What is this book about?

Bright but unassuming Marilyn Jones has some grown-up decisions to make, especially after Mama goes to prison for drugs and larceny. With no one to take care of them, Marilyn and her younger, mentally challenged brother, Carol, get tossed into the foster care system. While shuffling from one home to another, Marilyn makes it her mission to find the Tan Man, a mysterious man from her babyhood she believes holds the key to her family's happiness.

But Marilyn's quest is halted when her daddy, an ex-con she has never met, is chosen by the courts as the new guardian. Caleb…


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