The most recommended self-control books

Who picked these books? Meet our 24 experts.

24 authors created a book list connected to self-control, and here are their favorite self-control books.
Shepherd is reader supported. When you buy books, we may earn an affiliate commission.

What type of self-control book?

Loading...
Loading...

Book cover of True (. . . Sort Of)

Michelle Mulder Author Of After Peaches

From my list on kids’ stories about speaking up.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a kid, I rarely spoke up, and I certainly didn’t think I had much influence. As a young adult, though, I came across true stories of kids who stood up for what they believed in. These kids inspired many of my own books, and now whenever I’m looking for something to read, I look for novels about kids who screw up their courage to speak up for a fairer, more inclusive, richer world.

Michelle's book list on kids’ stories about speaking up

Michelle Mulder Why did Michelle love this book?

Katherine Hannigan creates quirky characters that I love, so when I saw True (… Sort Of) in our apartment building’s book exchange box, I snatched it up. Delly Patterson is an unlikely hero. She starts the book as the town troublemaker, bold in a way that I never dared to be as a child. Reading this book was like catapulting myself into a wilder, more adventurous childhood of my own without getting into trouble myself. Delly eventually uses her boldness to stand up for someone with more bravery than many adults might have. (I’d also like to give a shout-out to Katherine Hannigan for including a nonbinary character at a time when hardly anyone else – in society, and especially in children’s books – acknowledged nonbinary people.)

By Katherine Hannigan,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked True (. . . Sort Of) as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 8, 9, 10, and 11.

What is this book about?

Can friendship save you? The day Ferris Boyd moves to town, Delly Pattison is sure a special surpresent (a present that is a surprise) is on its way. Instead, Delly ends up in even more trouble than usual. The Boyds' arrival in River Bluffs means big changes for Brud Kinney, too. He can't believe who he's hanging around with. Ferris Boyd isn't like anyone Delly or Brud have ever known. Ferris is a mystery and a wonder. Through friendship, though, Delly, Brud, and Ferris discover truths that will change their lives. And bring them the best surpresent of all. Includes…


Book cover of Find Your Red Thread: Make Your Big Ideas Irresistible

Michelle A. Mazur Author Of 3 Word Rebellion: Create a One-of-a-Kind Message that Grows Your Business into a Movement

From my list on creating a standout message for your marketing & sales.

Why am I passionate about this?

Michelle Mazur is a messaging expert who works with brilliant business owners who are shaking things up but having trouble talking about it. She combines the tools of successful social movements with the qualitative research skills she earned in her Communication Ph.D. to help them craft their powerful, captivating message. She lives in Seattle, WA with her adoring husband, three obsessive felines, and a huge collection of Duran Duran memorabilia. 

Michelle's book list on creating a standout message for your marketing & sales

Michelle A. Mazur Why did Michelle love this book?

Most business owners have a difficult time translating their ideas into words. Without the right words, it’s impossible to get buy-in for your big ideas. The Red Thread is a simple method to make a compelling argument for why your idea matters and why people should care. If you’re looking to get clarity around an idea and make it irresistible for others, this book is a great place to start.

By Tamsen Webster,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Find Your Red Thread as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Make your idea irresistible.

You have a terrific idea. It’s so powerful that it could change a life, a market, or even the world. There’s just one problem: others don’t see its power—yet. If you truly value the possibility of your idea, then you’re ready to find your Red Thread—the throughline that connects your idea to your audience’s hearts and minds.

The best part is, the Red Thread already exists. It’s the connection that makes the invisible link between your audience’s problem and your solution tangible—and actionable. With the Red Thread, you’ll inspire audiences to act and get the outcome…


Book cover of Social Skills for Kids: From Making Friends and Problem-Solving to Self-Control and Communication

Joni Hilton Author Of Family Funbook

From my list on family activity books.

Why am I passionate about this?

I love playing with my kids. When my eldest was eight and we were sitting on the porch together he said, “On my last day of being playful, I want to play with you the whole day. I sure hope it’s on a Saturday.” My kids know that I turn most things into a game, that I’ll screech and stop for a tarantula on the road because it’s educational, that I'll get them to sing their quiz answers, and that I’ll sculpt a cake into almost anything for a school project. I believe learning should be fun, so we would drink lemonade out of measuring cups, guess how many hops from the bed to the closet, and have Whipped Cream Spray Wars every summer (outside, thank you). I also think families would spend more time together if they had a great collection of cool—and easy—stuff to do together. As a writer I’m creative, and never run out of fun ideas. Why not share them with the world?

Joni's book list on family activity books

Joni Hilton Why did Joni love this book?

Even tiny kids get glued to their game screens, without being connected to the internet yet. And older kids are even more addicted. We've all heard how dependent kids are on "likes" and how depressed they get if their life doesn't compare with what they see online. This means we have an entire generation of kids who spend waaay too much time on the computer. They haven't developed as many social skills as they're going to need. And this book addresses it. Children will feel more confident at school and in any social setting. I'd love to see manners and etiquette lessons come back-- here's a start!

By Keri K. Powers,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Social Skills for Kids as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Help your children develop essential social skills-including groups, one-on-one interactions, and virtual communication-with these 150 easy, fun activities to teach your kids how to socially succeed.

From taking turns to making eye contact to staying engaged during conversations, developing appropriate social skills is an important factor for kids to be able to succeed in school and life in general. But how can you tell if your child is really making progress while you read the same stories, have the same conversations, and chaperone the same playdates? The answer is to add some variety to your child's daily activities with these…


Book cover of Elena Rides

Elizabeth Verdick Author Of Bike & Trike

From my list on bikes and biking for kids.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a Minnesota-based children’s writer focusing on a mix of books for kids ages baby to teen. I love writing stories as well as nonfiction books focused on Social-Emotional Learning (SEL). After more than 25 years spent writing for a young audience, I started thinking about how I may be old but don’t necessarily feel old. An image came to mind: a rusty, dusty old tricycle. How might “Trike” feel if a happy, snappy new bike were to appear in the garage? Bike & Trike is the story that arose, one about old vs. new and a daring challenge to determine which bike will be the winner on wheels.

Elizabeth's book list on bikes and biking for kids

Elizabeth Verdick Why did Elizabeth love this book?

Elena may be a big, bright purple elephant, but she’s determined to ride her bike successfully.

She’s got a bright red bird friend to cheer her on and loads of resilience to get her through every wobble, bobble, and fall. Simple language and onomatopoeia make this story a great read-aloud, perfect for early readers and riders. 

By Juana Medina,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Elena Rides as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

Beginning readers—and beginning riders—will be drawn to this bright, buoyant story of a determined elephant and her loyal sidekick, from the award-winning creator of Juana & Lucas.

Elena wants to ride her bike. She steadies, she readies. She wobbles, she bobbles . . . KA-BANG! Learning to ride a bike is hard. But Elena can do it. She just has to try, try again. With this reassuring story of childlike persistence, Juana Medina, creator of the acclaimed Juana & Lucas series, introduces Elena, a plucky elephant, and the little red bird who is Elena’s faithful cheerleader. Simple, energetic text and…


Book cover of Good Different

Kathy MacMillan Author Of Sword and Verse

From Kathy's 3 favorite reads in 2023.

Why am I passionate about this?

Author American Sign Language interpreter Storyteller Reader Educator Language geek

Kathy's 3 favorite reads in 2023

Kathy MacMillan Why did Kathy love this book?

How I adore this book! The author’s gorgeous use of imagery puts us directly into Selah’s point of view.

I felt the itchiness of that school uniform and smelled that sour milk big-box store smell. Every detail, from Selah’s dragon metaphors to Pop’s four-colored pen to a through-the-bathroom-stall-wall conversation at FantasyCon, is pitch perfect. 

By Meg Eden Kuyatt,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Good Different as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 8, 9, 10, and 11.

What is this book about?

A debut novel-in-verse about understanding and celebrating
your own difference.
Selah knows her rules for being normal.

This means keeping her feelings locked tightly inside, despite
the way they build up inside her as each school day goes on, so
that she has to run to the bathroom and hide in the stall until she
can calm down. Selah feels like a dragon stuck in a world of humans,
but she knows how to hide it.

Until the day she explodes and hits a fellow student.

As her comfortable, familiar world crumbles around her, Selah
starts to figure out more…


Book cover of I Really Want the Cake

Lisa Wheeler Author Of People Don't Bite People

From my list on picture books that are even better read aloud.

Why am I passionate about this?

I'm an award-winning children's book author who loves everything about kid's books--including the smell! With over 50 books on bookstore shelves-- which have been read aloud hundreds of times all over the world-- I feel that I've become an expert on the subject.

Lisa's book list on picture books that are even better read aloud

Lisa Wheeler Why did Lisa love this book?

When our heroine and her little dog spy a spectacular cake just sitting alone on the kitchen table, it's on! The note attached from Mom says "You must not eat the cake." But what's a kid to do? She tries lots of activities to help her forget about cake but will temptation win out? This book is fun, funny, and well written. I love the drama of the situation and the art (by Lucia Gaggioti) is spot on. Fun to read dramatically aloud to both kids and adults. (Pair it with a reading of Green Eggs and Ham!)

By Simon Philip, Lucia Gaggiotti (illustrator),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked I Really Want the Cake as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 3, 4, and 5.

What is this book about?

There's a smell I can't ignore.
It's wafting through the kitchen door.
It's time for me to find out more.
I think it might be cake.

How do you resist the most amazing cake ever? Especially when your mum has left a note saying that you MUST NOT eat the cake?

This wonderful rhyming text from Simon Philip, author of You Must Bring a Hat, is illustrated with huge energy and humour by Lucia Gaggiotti.


Book cover of White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession, and the Psychology of Mental Control

Bruce M. Hood Author Of SuperSense: Why We Believe in the Unbelievable

From my list on magical thinking and superstition.

Why am I passionate about this?

When I was a child, I was fascinated by the supernatural and wanted to believe in the paranormal. On reaching university, I discovered there was no reliable evidence for such phenomena but rather there was a much more satisfying explanation based on the weaknesses and wishes of human psychology. Development is critical to human psychology and as I specialized in children’s thinking, I found more reasons to understand the natural origins of the peculiarities of our reasoning. SuperSense was my first popular science book to expound my ideas, but all of my subsequent books apply similar novel ways of explaining human behaviour from surprising perspectives. 

Bruce's book list on magical thinking and superstition

Bruce M. Hood Why did Bruce love this book?

This is an easily accessible book based on Wegner's brilliant work on consciousness and mental control. I have always found Wegner’s work utterly fascinating as it provides such a convincing picture of a mind constantly in a struggle to think coherently – something that I easily recognise in my own conscious awareness. The findings on intrusive implicit thoughts were particularly influential in my own writing about the conflict between dormant thoughts and conscious appraisal that may be factors in why magical thinking surfaces in the rational mind.

By Daniel M. Wegner,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In a series of groundbreaking experiments, Daniel M. Wegner told subjects not to think about white bears. Of course, they found it impossible to avoid thinking of the bears--just as it often seems impossible to stop thinking about forbidden foods, a painful memory, or everyday fears and worries. Synthesizing a wealth of scientific knowledge in an accessible, engaging style, this book reveals that the more we attempt to push away or avoid unwanted thoughts, the deeper they take hold. Wegner offers compelling insights into how unpleasant or obsessive thoughts get out of control--and what we can do to break free…


Book cover of Governing the Soul: The Shaping of the Private Self

Bonnie Evans Author Of The Metamorphosis of Autism: A History of Child Development in Britain

From my list on the making of the modern self.

Why am I passionate about this?

My interest in this topic began after my father died when I was a young teenager and I was left looking for answers, explanations, and meanings. My dad was an architect and had written a book on Jeremy Bentham’s panoptican and prison architecture published before the French philosopher Michel Foucault’s famous Discipline and Punish. A small collection of Foucault’s books stood prominently on my father’s bookshelves and I really wanted to understand them. At university I studied all of Foucault’s works and many authors inspired by him. These are the best books that explain how we have developed philosophical and psychological theories to understand ourselves in the contemporary world.

Bonnie's book list on the making of the modern self

Bonnie Evans Why did Bonnie love this book?

Nikolas Rose’s exceptional book Governing the Soul expanded Foucault’s arguments, focusing on how government networks were created in collaboration with psychological specialists in the 20th century to create unique webs of expertise that helped individuals to manage and govern themselves. The result is an excellent exposition of the theory of governmentality. Rose begins with a discussion of how the Second World War encouraged new forms of ‘psychological warfare,’ where strength of mind could be assessed and selected to create the most successful fighting subjects. This created a group of professionals who also advised on the organisation of labour forces and who could teach the population to be productive and contented workers.

This expertise was extended to training children as young citizens who had to adapt to government needs via schools and social services. Rose’s point is that this created a system of power and government that was not top-down…

By Nikolas Rose,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Governing the Soul as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This work is now widely recognised as one of the founding texts in a new approach to analyzing the links between political power, expertise and the self. This "governmentality" perspective has had important implications for a range of academic disciplines including criminology, political theory, sociology and psychology and has generated much theoretical innovation and empirical investigation. This second edition adds a new introduction setting out the methodological and conceptual bases of this approach and a new final chapter that considers some of the implications of recent developments in the government of subjectivity.


Book cover of Asceticism of the Mind: Forms of Attention and Self-Transformation in Late Antique Monasticism

Jamie Kreiner Author Of The Wandering Mind: What Medieval Monks Tell Us About Distraction

From my list on medieval brainiacs.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a historian of the early Middle Ages. There are all sorts of unexpected differences and similarities between modern and medieval life, and things get especially interesting when it comes to thinking about thinking. Our understanding of how our minds work has obviously changed—and so have the ways that we actually use them. Medieval thinkers in Europe and the Mediterranean world struggled with concentration and memory and information overload, just like we do. But they were savvier in dealing with those problems, and these books invite you into the wonderful world of their cognitive practices. You’ll probably find yourself experimenting with many of these techniques along the way!

Jamie's book list on medieval brainiacs

Jamie Kreiner Why did Jamie love this book?

Early Christian monks in the eastern Mediterranean chalked up many of their mental struggles to demonic interference—and yet their approaches to the problem of attention share some striking similarities to modern psychology.

Graiver makes the case that monks’ talk of demons was not a superstitious diagnosis but a pragmatic one: it helped monks try to strike a balance between monitoring their thoughts and thinking too hard about them, deal with unwanted thoughts before they became all-consuming, and figure how to keep it together when their thoughts were all over the place.

I love that this book takes early monks and modern psychologists equally seriously. And even if you don’t start blaming your problems on demons after reading it, you will still have learned a lot about the promises and perils of attention management.

By Inbar Graiver,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Asceticism of the Mind as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Asceticism is founded on the possibility that human beings can profoundly transform themselves through training and discipline. In particular, asceticism in the Eastern monastic tradition is based on the assumption that individuals are not slaves to the habitual and automatic but can be improved by ascetic practice and, with the cooperation of divine grace, transform their entire character and cultivate special powers and skills. Asceticism of the Mind explores the strategies that enabled Christian ascetics in the Egyptian, Gazan, and Sinaitic monastic traditions of late antiquity to cultivate a new form of existence. At the book's center is a particular…


Book cover of The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness

Jude Sclater Author Of Think Like a Coach: Empower your team through everyday conversations

From my list on managers who want to empower their teams.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a practical, straight-talking New Zealander who has lived in the UK since 2007. I’ve coached managers for over a decade, and one thing they all have in common is that they want to develop and empower their teams. What I love the most about my work is seeing the ‘aha’ moments unfold when they work out a path that is right for them. I’ve chosen these books for the ‘aha’ moments they sparked in me, and I hope they do the same for you.

Jude's book list on managers who want to empower their teams

Jude Sclater Why did Jude love this book?

I love this book because it taught me emotional self-control. One of the things I really disliked about myself was how stressed I’d get and then take it out on my team. I’d always apologize, but I think they were often afraid of me and not sure which Jude they’d get. Peters’ Chimp model helped me to understand why this was happening and what to do about it.

I learned to nurture my ‘chimp’ brain more, notice when I was talking to other ‘chimps,’ know how to calm them, and most of all, manage my stress better. I often explain this model to the managers I coach to help them embrace their emotions as a way of managing them.

By Steve Peters,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Chimp Paradox as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Do you sometimes behave irrationally or impulsively? Do you face some situations with fear and trepidation? Do feelings of self-doubt consume everyday activities?

Leading Consultant Psychiatrist, Prof Steve Peters, knows more than anyone how impulsive behaviour or nagging self-doubt can impact negatively on our professional and personal lives.

In this, his first book, Steve shares his phenomenally successful mind management programme that has been used to help elite athletes and senior managers alike to conquer their fears and operate with greater control, focus and confidence.

Seemingly complex concepts are made simple with the use of memorable analogies -- such as…