The most recommended interpersonal communication books

Who picked these books? Meet our 61 experts.

61 authors created a book list connected to interpersonal communication, and here are their favorite interpersonal communication books.
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Book cover of Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life

Dianna Booher Author Of Communicate Like a Leader: Connecting Strategically to Coach, Inspire, and Get Things Done

From my list on leadership communication.

Why am I passionate about this?

Dianna Booher is the bestselling author of 49 books (Penguin Random House, HarperCollins, McGraw-Hill), in 62 foreign editions, with nearly 4 million copies sold. More than two dozen of her books focus on communication, and she’s facilitated workshops on the topic for 4 decades. She helps leaders shape their own message in book form at Booher Book Camps.

Dianna's book list on leadership communication

Dianna Booher Why did Dianna love this book?

Having read so very many books on body language (and having written a couple myself), I love finding a book that provides much broader cross-cultural research and deeper insights on a specialized, important aspect like facial expressions!

How shocking to learn that there are more than 500 micro-facial expressions, telling people exactly what we feel about any given situation! To be able to read such facial expressions would give leaders an incredible advantage as they communicate—negotiating around the conference table, . . . conducting a job interview, . . . or strategizing with a potential partner, . . . or choosing a spouse!

By Paul Ekman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Emotions Revealed as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Whatever culture we come from, emotions play a huge role in our lives and in every relationship within them. Whether anger, joy, fear or sorrow, they can be incredibly powerful things - but can be equally hard to understand or control. In "Emotions Revealed", Paul Ekman draws on a lifetime's study to take the reader on a complete tour of the emotional self. Against a background of specially commissioned photographs and forceful news images from around the world, he examines and explains how, when and why we become emotional and how far we can change what we get emotional about;…


Book cover of You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

Carol T. Kulik Author Of Human Resources for the Non-HR Manager

From my list on making work a better place to be.

Why am I passionate about this?

The average person spends over 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime – that’s roughly one quarter to one third of a person’s life. I’m an academic researcher who studies work. I know how to design workplaces that are good for organizations (high productivity) and the people who work in them (high employee well-being). But if we leave it all up to senior management, we won’t generate positive changes fast enough. There’s a robust body of evidence that we can all use to make our local workplaces more supportive, inclusive, and fulfilling. I’m on a mission to make the world a better place, one workplace at a time. 

Carol's book list on making work a better place to be

Carol T. Kulik Why did Carol love this book?

Deborah Tannen has a unique ear for the different ways that men and women communicate.

The book resonated with my personal experiences, and helped me to understand why I was having different kinds of conversations with men than with women – particularly around work issues. Professor Tannen emphasizes that these communication styles are taught to us when we are very young (and they are reflected in the different games men and women play as children).

But that means we can change our communication styles too – we can communicate more clearly about our work-related needs, and adapt our communication patterns to better align with the listener. Professor Tannen inspired me to bring research evidence to the attention of people who can use it in their daily lives.  

By Deborah Tannen,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked You Just Don't Understand as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This guide highlights problems of communication between men and women, who can interpret the same conversation completely differently, even when there is no apparent misunderstanding. It examines how the sexes can work through communication barriers and get to the heart of the matter.


Book cover of How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide

Melinda Lewis Author Of Social Policy for Effective Practice: A Strengths Approach

From my list on igniting students’ passions about policy change.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a policy advocate, grassroots activist, university professor, and author committed to social change—at scale—to advance social work values of racial, economic, environmental, and social justice. Recognizing that most social workers are drawn to our profession because they want to make a difference in the lives of their clients, one by one, I invest my energies and skills to making policy study and practice accessible, relevant, and urgent. My students quickly get used to noting the book recommendations I sprinkle throughout class discussions and in assignment feedback, because when you see the world through a social policy frame, everything has a policy implication! 

Melinda's book list on igniting students’ passions about policy change

Melinda Lewis Why did Melinda love this book?

There are many examples in this book that make my students angry—which is one of the reasons I want them to read it.

As people committed to engaging with others to pursue justice, we have to become proficient—if never comfortable—in having conversations with people who do not share our worldview, and in using our active listening skills and deep regard for human relationships to find common ground.

The skills and practices in this book equip us for effective engagement beyond the silos we frequent, help us see our own arguments as others may encounter them, and catalyze the kind of thoughtful interactions social change demands. 

By Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Have Impossible Conversations as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a civil conversation with someone who has a different opinion. Dialogue is shut down when perspectives clash. Heated debates on Facebook and Twitter often lead to shaming, hindering any possibility of productive discourse. How to Have Impossible Conversations guides readers through the process of having effective, civil discussions about any divisive issues--not just religious faith but climate change, race, gender, poverty, immigration, and gun control.

Coauthors Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay distinguish between two types of conversations: those that are oriented toward arriving at truth, and those that may require…


Book cover of How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want

Aryanne Oade Author Of Bullying in Teams: How to Survive It and Thrive

From my list on workplace bullying.

Why am I passionate about this?

Aryanne Oade works as a chartered psychologist, executive coach, and author of eight books. She has over thirty years’ experience in guiding clients through the challenge of complex workplace dynamics, and specialises in enabling detoxification and recovery from workplace bullying. Author of the best-selling award-winner Free Yourself from Workplace Bullying: Become Bully-Proof and Regain Control of Your Life, Aryanne’s work and books have been featured in The Independent, Sunday Independent (Ireland), Psychologies, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, The Belfast Telegraph, HR Magazine, Safety & Health Practitioner, SHP Online, Nursing Times, and Midwives.

Aryanne's book list on workplace bullying

Aryanne Oade Why did Aryanne love this book?

I love the simplicity of this book. I recommend it to clients who have a hard time being assertive. The book gives straightfoward, no nonsense input on how to handle a variety of challenging situations in a way which is both self-protective and likely to enable the reader to get a favourable outcome. Situations include how to say no without alienating the other person; asking in a way which makes it likely you’ll get what you want; and dealing with putdowns or unjust criticism.

By Meryl Runion,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Get to the point! Learn how to use Power Phrases to say what you mean...and get what you want. If you have ever walked away from a situation because you didn't know what to say, or you didn't know what to say but you spoke anyway, you know about all the stress, confusion, wasted time, missed opportunities, and hurt feelings you could have avoided if only you'd said the right thing at the right time. Now internationally acclaimed executive coach and communication guru Meryl Runion introduces you to a powerful, easy-to-master communication technology that lets you say what you mean,…


Book cover of I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

Lida Citroën Author Of Success After Service: How to Take Control of Your Job Search and Career After Military Duty

From my list on success in a civilian life after the military.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m an executive coach, personal branding consultant, and reputation management expert helping global executives, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders manage how they’re perceived and drive towards ideal opportunities. A long-time passionate supporter of the military, I volunteer to help veterans transitioning to civilian careers. My work with veterans comes from gratitude for their sacrifice. I regularly speak at military installations, podcasts, and events on veteran transition and hiring, teach in the TAP program at the US Air Force Academy, and serve on the Board of Directors at Project Sanctuary, which focuses on healing military families. Since 2012, I’ve also been a writer for Military.com.

Lida's book list on success in a civilian life after the military

Lida Citroën Why did Lida love this book?

There are so many books written about active listening and communications, but not many that focus on what the other person really needs: Validation.

As veterans re-integrate into the civilian workforce and lifestyle, the way they communicate is different from when they were serving in the military, and becoming mindful of how they communicate with others is important. This book will guide them through a key skill (validation) that will help them not only in their career, but also in their personal life. 

By Michael S. Sorensen,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked I Hear You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life?

In this 3-hour, conversational read, you’ll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills available—validation. 

Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship with your spouse, navigate difficult conversations at work, or connect on a deeper level with friends and family, this book delivers simple, practical, proven techniques for improving any relationship in your life.

Mastery of this simple skill will enable you to:

Calm (and sometimes even eliminate) the concerns, fears, and uncertainties of…


Book cover of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

Lawrence E. Susskind Author Of Good for You, Great for Me: Finding the Trading Zone and Winning at Win-Win Negotiation

From my list on negotiating for mutual advantage.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a Professor at MIT and co-founder of both the inter-university Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School and the not-for-profit Consensus Building Institute that provides help in resolving some of the most complex resource management disputes around the world. I have been teaching negotiation and dispute resolution, doing research about the circumstances under which various negotiation strategies do and don’t work, and offering online training for more than four decades. Given the many negotiations I've observed, I’m convinced that negotiating for mutual advantage is the way to go -- avoid unnecessary conflict, get what you want in all kinds of negotiating situations, and walk away with good working relationships and a solid reputation.

Lawrence's book list on negotiating for mutual advantage

Lawrence E. Susskind Why did Lawrence love this book?

Doug and Sheila start with the assumption that we all want to learn and grow, but at the same time, we also want to be accepted just as we are. That means, we don’t want to be on the receiving end of evaluations, advice, criticism, or coaching that highlight our flaws. Most of us believe that feedback is essential for ensuring healthy relationships and ensuring our professional development, but as they point out, “we dread it and often dismiss it.” They see feedback as a step in the larger process of negotiation. When I try to convince you of something, I need to offer not just a demand, but an argument or evidence that makes sense to you and backs up what I’m saying.

Doug and Sheila have suggestions for how to avoid the traps (“triggers,” they call them) that get in the way of our accepting or even seeking…

By Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Thanks for the Feedback as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The coauthors of the New York Times-bestselling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: how we see ourselves

Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past fifteen years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, offering a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life's blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited input with curiosity and grace. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and…


Book cover of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-be

Alyssa Gonzalez Author Of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

From my list on neurodiversity and relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

Relationships are treacherous terrain for people outside the mainstream. Whether we’re tangling with the unwelcome biases of those who do not understand us or trying to navigate situations designed without us in mind, trying to find “our people” is tricky and often exhausting. I am an autistic polyamorous sapphic trans woman and each of those adjectives adds a layer of challenge to the life I have to lead. I am also the holder of a doctorate and like to think I’m pretty clever. Between these realities, I’ve found books about relationships, neurodivergence, and what it’s like to be someone like me that I think do a pretty good job. I hope you enjoy them.

Alyssa's book list on neurodiversity and relationships

Alyssa Gonzalez Why did Alyssa love this book?

Neurodivergent people are notoriously averse to small talk, but where to go from there?

Intellectual Foreplay provides an extensive collection of conversation topics and questions one can use to get to know someone better, whether you’re already close or just getting started.

In between, this book provides a treatment of how this sort of conversation works and, crucially, actions that can be taken in response to the answers one receives.

It’s an interesting book, even if it’s not particularly interesting to read straight through. Reference volumes often aren’t, so this is not a point against it.

By Eve Eschner Hogan, Steve Hogan,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Intellectual Foreplay as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This solutions-oriented guide offers problem solving and behavior changing strategies for people working on their most intimate relationships. The book provides readers with: enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners' beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making healthy decisions about lifestyles and boundaries; an in-depth understanding of the role of self-esteem in relationships; increased ability to let go of the past and embrace the present; and the knowledge that it is important not only to choose the right partner, but also to be the right partner. What…


Book cover of We Can't Talk about That at Work! How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics

Barbara B. Adams PsyD Author Of Women, Minorities, and Other Extraordinary People: The New Path for Workforce Diversity

From my list on workforce diversity that won’t piss you off.

Why am I passionate about this?

I don’t have a passion for the diversity, equity, and inclusion topic. I have an obligation. When I didn’t see or understand the horrific injustice of systemic oppression, I couldn’t do anything about it. Now that I see it, I cannot ignore it. I’ve become an expert through my work in organizational development. I work with technology, healthcare, financial services and educational services clients around the globe, and in 2016 I founded GAR (Gender, Age, Race) Diversity Consulting. Prior to GAR, I was a director in the National Diversity and Inclusion office at Kaiser Permanente, and I worked for many years as a global management and technology consultant with American Management Systems, Inc (now CGI). 

Barbara's book list on workforce diversity that won’t piss you off

Barbara B. Adams PsyD Why did Barbara love this book?

In the age of Black Lives Matter, and the racial, political, and structural tensions that permeate society, Mary-Frances Winters has written a gift of a book that helps us understand why polarization occurs and how to manage conversations about topics often seen as taboo. She is nothing short of brilliant in explaining how culture embeds itself in people’s perceptions and beliefs. This small yet powerful book provides everything leaders and managers need to learn to create spaces of safety and facilitate dialogue that is meaningful, insightful, and often profound. This is the book we have been waiting for!

By Mary-Frances Winters,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked We Can't Talk about That at Work! How to Talk about Race, Religion, Politics, and Other Polarizing Topics as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Instead of shutting down any mention of taboo topics, Mary-Frances Winters shows how to structure intentional conversations about them, so people can safely confront biases and stereotypes and create stronger, more inclusive organizations.

Politics, religion, race - we can't talk about topics like these at work, right? But in fact, these conversations are happening all the time, either in real life or virtually via social media. And if they aren't handled effectively, they can become more polarizing and divisive, impacting productivity, engagement, retention, teamwork, and even employees' sense of safety in the workplace. But you can turn that around and…


Book cover of Backable: The Surprising Truth Behind What Makes People Take a Chance on You

Patrick J. McGinnis Author Of The 10% Entrepreneur: Live Your Startup Dream Without Quitting Your Day Job

From my list on for part-time entrepreneurs.

Why am I passionate about this?

I never thought I would be an entrepreneur. In fact, I was happy in corporate life. But when my job in corporate America blew up, I realized that I need to rethink my entire approach to building my career and my life. The result of these efforts is The 10% Entrepreneur. Over the past decade, I have integrated entrepreneurship into my life on a part-time basis, reaping meaningful financial and psychic rewards in the process. In the process, I have taught hundreds of thousands of others that entrepreneurship does not have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.

Patrick's book list on for part-time entrepreneurs

Patrick J. McGinnis Why did Patrick love this book?

This is a compelling and fast-paced read about how you can develop a compelling pitch that will convince people to back you. Whether you are looking for investors, customers, business partners, or employees, knowing how to pitch your ideas in a compelling way is absolutely essential. This book dives deep into that challenge with tons of ideas and advice.

By Suneel Gupta, Carlye Adler,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Backable as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'This remarkable book can be your secret weapon for bringing your idea to life.' DAN PINK, bestselling author of Drive

'Whether you want to get ahead inside a company or build a startup from the ground up, this fascinating book is a must-read.' REID HOFFMAN, co-founder of LinkedIn

'A super-readable and actionable look at how to make your ideas take flight. Whether you're pitching a brand new startup or an idea for your company's next product, you'll find a wealth of insights and stories throughout.'
MIKE KRIEGER, co-founder of Instagram

No one makes it alone. But there's a reason why…


Book cover of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Maryanne O'Brien Author Of The Elevated Communicator: How to Master Your Style and Strengthen Well-Being at Work

From my list on communication and building trusted relationships.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am a work in progress, on my way to becoming a conscious communicator and an even better human being. I believe that intentional communication and (the) quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives, careers, and societies. I’ve spent decades guiding people and cultures to foster open communication, cultivate self-understanding, and deepen trust, from large Fortune 500 to small businesses. Building communication skills is a practice that leads to self-transformation and finding meaning, and happiness. Each of these books will help you to better understand yourself and others, and learn to communicate at the level of trust.

Maryanne's book list on communication and building trusted relationships

Maryanne O'Brien Why did Maryanne love this book?

If you’ve been avoiding having a difficult conversation, this book is for you.

It provides a step-by-step guide for preparing to have difficult conversations and navigating the waters once you’re in them, both personally and professionally. You’ll learn to see your own defensive barriers to communicating well (defensiveness to silence) and how to apply strategies for overcoming these obstacles and creating a safe and productive environment.

It’s a valuable resource you’ll come back to again and again, because people are complex, and communication is the bridge to building trust. 

By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan , Al Switzler

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Crucial Conversations as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate

"[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time."
-from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

"The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here's how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations."
-Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1…