The most recommended extraversion and introversion books

After Rilke, May Sarton is my favourite poet. I love her because her work is about the meanings of everyday things. She sees life through the eyes of an introvert, which I identify with completely, and she is able to bring out aspects of simple things that others miss. Her thoughts on love range from people in love—“Lovers at the Zoo”—to the intense grief at the loss of a pet “Death and the Turtle.”

“Isn’t six figures enough? No, it’s not.” - Rachel Rodgers.

Since 2017, I have told anyone who will listen that I want to be a Billionaire Mum. Only $1B to go. I rarely got pushback, but I also rarely met anyone who had actual dreams, goals, or plans to become a millionaire, much less a billionaire. Then, in 2021, Rachel wrote the book that showed me why making millions of dollars in profit is necessary to make my dreams come true.

My biggest dream is to create a community of fellow ethical billionaires, host Mahlena's Davos–an alternative to the yearly World Economic Forum–and make the Earth a more equitable place. What is yours?

The author is a psychology professor and a leading populariser of personality psychology. His book will give you a great overview of the most widely endorsed model of personality, which is based on the so-called Big Five traits, including extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness. Little is also renowned for his research into 'personal projects' – the goals you have that are meaningful to you. What I particularly took away from this book is how these projects feedback and shape your personality. So, if you want to have more control over who you are and will become, it is worth thinking about the goals that you are pursuing in life – whether they are satisfying and how they might be influencing you.

I discovered this nonfiction book as an adult and can imagine the thrill of fellow introverts who get to read it as kids and see themselves celebrated within its pages. We’re not shy people who will eventually grow out of our shells; we’re born to think deeply, feel deeply, observe details others miss, and be empathetic, steadfast friends. Cain highlights stories of children who have made a mark in their schools, friendships, and family life from the quiet side of the introversion-extroversion spectrum. 

What’s unique and valuable about Matt’s book is his use of scientific research to explain what makes so many of us nervous about public speaking and—knowing those triggers and minefields —how to manage and overcome it.

The book is short, physically small, and focused, but brilliantly so because it reads like a manual and even an ally in your ear, giving you the tips and support you need to speak confidently. Matt includes many “Try This” recommendations and an awesome appendix that reviews a wide variety of physical and psychological anxiety-management techniques.

I have lots of highlight marks and circled sections in my copy, which is a surefire sign that a book is extremely practical. 

I bought this book when I was looking for something else: its title hit me between the eyes. The word “bittersweet” encapsulates everything I often feel; I was nodding along in self-recognition.

If I’m honest, I’ve probably internalised a certain amount of shame around my strong emotions. Definitely, I’ve longed to feel less viscerally about the highs and lows of life. Or, at least, to feel them sequentially – instead of jumbled together: wonderful things tinged with the sadness of impermanence; hard things somehow glowing around the edges with the feeling of being really alive.

What to do with all the emotions? That’s been my recurring question. This book answers – gently, but insistently – make art.

This amazing Australian YA weaves such a delicate web. A quiet, introverted dystopia, and at its heart is the wonderful Hayley. Hayley is such an interesting female protagonist here not because she is deadly or combative, but because of her incredible perseverance and curiosity. Hive is the first in a truly compelling duology. 

The author is well versed in the Myers-Briggs and uses her knowledge of that instrument and years of consulting in this practical and funny book. 

The author focuses on thinking types and feeling types and describes how they can clash and achieve sweet harmony. Thinkers lead with their heads and Feelers lead with their hearts.

This is helpful for me as a “feeler.” I have a roadmap to guide me in the land of thinkers. The “CakFlake” instrument (this gives you a sense of the author’s sense of humor) is a great way to determine when I might fall into a trap like expecting everyone to process information like I do. It is a quick and fun read and you will leave with some actions to take right away.

Although I tend to lean towards being an extrovert, during my divorce, I was a full-blown introvert. I had no interest in going anywhere or doing anything. This book is subtle in humor and I love the journey the author takes you on. If you’re going through a divorce, it can encourage you to try new things, go on trips, and that meeting new people isn’t so bad. Getting out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to get out during a divorce is very important. This book is also a reminder that sometimes we just don’t know the answers in life and that’s ok. 

“The smartest person in the room is usually the person who talks the least.”- Erin King.

In my case, that assessment is totally correct. Though I am not the smartest person in every room I enter, I definitely listen at least twice as much as I speak. It is my nature as an introvert, specifically an INTJ.

This book taught me how and why to write emails, business or otherwise, that are “three sentences max.” This one rule changed my perspective on communication. Stop explaining to other people why they should know, like, and trust you. Let your brevity be the wit that draws your people in.

I also liked the book because it is not that long, and each page has a lot of white space. Concise.