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Lying Awake Paperback – October 1, 2001

by Mark Salzman (Author)

4.5 285 ratings

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Mark Salzman's Lying Awake is a finely wrought gem that plumbs the depths of one woman's soul, and in so doing raises salient questions about the power-and price-of faith.

Sister John's cloistered life of peace and prayer has been electrified by ever more frequent visions of God's radiance, leading her toward a deep religious ecstasy. Her life and writings have become examples of devotion. Yet her visions are accompanied by shattering headaches that compel Sister John to seek medical help. When her doctor tells her an illness may be responsible for her gift, Sister John faces a wrenching choice: to risk her intimate glimpses of the divine in favor of a cure, or to continue her visions with the knowledge that they might be false-and might even cost her her life.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"A lean, seemingly effortless tour de force...a perfect little novel."
--The New Yorker

"Spare, luminous...Salzman makes this cloistered society not only believable, but also compelling."
--San Francisco Chronicle

"A singularly rich and abundant work.... [Salzman has an] ability to convey spiritual states with a lambent clarity."
--The New York Times Book Review

"A satisfying and evocative questioning of faith and art."
--The Oregonian

"Mark Salzman is...a poet, capturing in the pages of Lying Awake, his shining novel about devotion and doubt, a mysticism that reaches back in time to an older tradition, yet dwells easily in the present."
--Los Angeles Times

"A gentle story.... Graceful, lucid and enjoyable."
--Newsday

"Elegant.... Salzman's depiction of Sister John's conflict, convent life and this society of devoted women is a marvelous accomplishment."
--The Seattle Times

"Lying Awake showcases an almost ethereal talent, one that can handle complex ideas with a touch lighter than air."
--New York Post

From the Inside Flap

Mark Salzman's Lying Awake is a finely wrought gem that plumbs the depths of one woman's soul, and in so doing raises salient questions about the power-and price-of faith.

Sister John's cloistered life of peace and prayer has been electrified by ever more frequent visions of God's radiance, leading her toward a deep religious ecstasy. Her life and writings have become examples of devotion. Yet her visions are accompanied by shattering headaches that compel Sister John to seek medical help. When her doctor tells her an illness may be responsible for her gift, Sister John faces a wrenching choice: to risk her intimate glimpses of the divine in favor of a cure, or to continue her visions with the knowledge that they might be false-and might even cost her her life.

From the Back Cover

"A lean, seemingly effortless tour de force...a perfect little novel."
--The New Yorker

"Spare, luminous...Salzman makes this cloistered society not only believable, but also compelling."
--San Francisco Chronicle

"A singularly rich and abundant work.... [Salzman has an] ability to convey spiritual states with a lambent clarity."
--The New York Times Book Review

"A satisfying and evocative questioning of faith and art."
--The Oregonian

"Mark Salzman is...a poet, capturing in the pages of Lying Awake, his shining novel about devotion and doubt, a mysticism that reaches back in time to an older tradition, yet dwells easily in the present."
--Los Angeles Times

"A gentle story.... Graceful, lucid and enjoyable."
--Newsday

"Elegant.... Salzman's depiction of Sister John's conflict, convent life and this society of devoted women is a marvelous accomplishment."
--The Seattle Times

"Lying Awake showcases an almost ethereal talent, one that can handle complex ideas with a touch lighter than air."
--New York Post

About the Author

Mark Salzman is the author of Iron & Silk, Lost in Place, and the previous novels The Laughing Sutra and The Soloist. He lives in Los Angeles.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

July 25
Saint James, Apostle
Sister John of the Cross pushed her blanket aside, dropped to her knees on the floor of her cell, and offered the day to God.

Every moment a beginning, every moment an end.
The silence of the monastery coaxed her out of herself, calling her to search for something unfelt, unknown, and unimagined. Her spirit responded to this call with an algorithm of longing. Every moment of being contained an indivisible -- and invisible -- denominator.

She lit a vigil candle and faced the plain wooden cross on the wall. It had no corpus because, in spirit, she belonged there, taking Christ's place and helping relieve his burden.

Suffering borne by two is nearly joy.

Fighting the stiffness in her limbs, she lifted her brown scapular, symbol of the yoke of Christ, and began the clothing prayer:

Clothe me, O Lord, with the armor of salvation.

She let the robe's two panels drop from her shoulders to the hemline, back and front, then stepped into the rough sandals that identified her as a member of the Order of Discalced -- shoeless -- Carmelites, founded by Saint Teresa of Avila in the sixteenth century.

Purify my mind and heart. Empty me of my own will, that I may be filled with Yours.

A linen wimple, with the black veil of Profession sewn to its crown, left only the oval of her face exposed. Mirrors were not permitted in the cloister, but after twenty-eight years of carrying out this ritual every morning, she could see with her fingers as she adjusted the layers of fabric to a pleasing symmetry.

Let these clothes remind me of my consecration to this life of enclosure, silence, and solitude.

She sat at her desk to read through the poems she had written the night before -- keeping her up until past midnight -- and made a few changes. Then she made her bed and carried her washbasin out to the dormitory bathroom. She walked quietly so as not to wake her Sisters, who would not stir for at least another hour. The night light at the end of the hall was shaded with a transparency of a rose window; its reflection on the polished wood floor fanned out like a peacock's tail.

As Sister John emptied the basin into the sink, taking care to avoid splashing, the motion of the water as it spiraled toward the drain triggered a spell of vertigo. It was a welcome sensation; she experienced it as a rising from within, as if her spirit could no longer be contained by her body.

Wherever You lead me, I will follow.

Instead of going to the choir to wait for the others, she returned to her cell, knelt down on the floor again, and unfocused her eyes.

Blessed is that servant whom the master finds awake when he comes.

Pure awareness stripped her of everything. She became an ember carried upward by the heat of an invisible flame. Higher and higher she rose, away from all she knew. Powerless to save herself, she drifted up toward infinity until the vacuum sucked the feeble light out of her.
? ? ?

A darkness so pure it glistened, then out of that darkness,
nova.

More luminous than any sun, transcending visibility, the flare consumed everything, it lit up all of existence. In this radiance she could see forever, and everywhere she looked, she saw God's love. As soon as she could move again, she opened her notebook and began writing.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group (October 1, 2001)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 192 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0375706062
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0375706066
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.19 x 0.48 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #460,556 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4,725 in Contemporary Literature & Fiction
- #17,019 in Religious Literature & Fiction
- #23,868 in Literary Fiction (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.5 285 ratings

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4.5 out of 5

285 global ratings

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John Joss

Brilliantly crafted

Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2002

Verified Purchase

Writing short is harder than writing long. and subjects beyond average readers' life experience challenge writers to create understanding that builds bridges of credibility and empathy.
Writing about the lives of cloistered nuns, Salzman has met these challenges with exceptional brevity, clarity and elegance. He develops his characters persuasively and compels the reader to care about the outcomes. Cloistered nuns may seem to share little with life in our modern world, yet they are intensely human under the habit, much like us. Salzman conveys this connection convincingly. Simple humanity and goodness shine through the nuns' attitudes. The intrinsic test of becoming and remaining a Carmelite nun underlies every paragraph.
Readers will not, unless blessed with a vocation, rush to the convent to become nuns. Salzman does not attempt an apologia pro vita sua on the part of Sister John and her religious life. Rather he helps us think and feel, open our hearts to wonder and awe, and permits us a rare chance--in a modern existence of relentless busy-ness--to examine another world whose validity and value he demonstrates beyond doubt. The paradox at the heart of this exquisite little book is even more fascinating because it leaves our tension and speculation unresolved. In this respect it is analagous to the problem of understanding and resolving the lives of others, even of our own.
AWAKE is not long but remains in the mind and heart long after the final chapter ends. Salzman has mastered his subject and his language. In an ocean of relentless trivia foisted on us today by a publishing industry (indeed, an entire media industry) seemingly interested only in financial reward, his precise and perceptive gifts to us are invaluable and profoundly memorable.

18 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kathleen J.

A Loving Human Story of a Soul

Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2005

Verified Purchase

Author Mark Salzman in this short novel,develops the

character of Sister St. John,a cloistered,discalced(without

shoes)Carmelite nun so completely,you are drawn into this

remarkable story of Faith versus Science.

Sister St. John experiences severe headaches and otherworldly

feelings which make her think she is becoming closer to

experiencing God.She feels she has been blest.

Her Superior Sister is concerned about the headaches that

proceed Sister St. John's ecstasy,accompanied by a deep desire

to write volumes of religion,after the painful attack subsides.

She understandably sends Sister St. John to a neurologist.

The author explains how when a cloistered nun leaves the

convent for a Drs. appointment,the nun will observe people

with their eyes,due to the fact,that they do not use speech

most of the day.Also,seldom do they leave the quiet confines

of the convent.Sister St. John,who is so lovingly human,

develops a sixth sense this way.A young Dr. examines Sister

and orders tests.The result is a phenonomen when discovered,

surely tests her Faith.

Sister St. John is a very likable person,she is also very

human.Sister's like people in the everyday world,accept by

Faith alone and do not seek to be different.Their struggle is

lifelong as is ours.

A fascinating book.You cannot help but question your own

connection to God and other humans.

An unlikely subject,well researched,this is a beautiful

and interesting work of literature.

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Savvy-Suz

Ecstasies revisited...

Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2009

Verified Purchase

LYING AWAKE is a very spare novel, yet a very luminous little book.

The story is set in modern day Los Angeles and chronicles the life of a Carmelite Nun who has recently experienced ecstasies which are unexplained until it is discovered that her "migraines" (which preceed the light) are in fact the result of a condition known as "temporal-lobe epilepsy." She has become a copious poet and writer, even publishing a book that has benefitted her Convent. The other sister's are in awe of her connection to God!

"...she learned that temporal-lobe epilepsy sometimes caused changes in behavior even when the patient was not having seizures. The changes included hypergraphia (voluminous writng), an intensification but also a narrowing of emotional response, and an obdsessive interest in religion and philosophy. The novelist Dostoevsky, who was epileptic, followed this model so closely that the syndrome was eventually named after him," (pg 120)

"There are moments," Dostoevsky wrote, "and it is only a matter of five or six seconds, when you feel the presence of the eternal harmony...a terrible thing is the frightful clearness with which it manifests itself and the rapture with which it fills you. If this state were to last more than five seconds, the soul could not endure it and would have to disappear. During these five seconds I live a whole human existence, and for that I would give my whole life and not think that I was paying too dearly...."

Others mentioned that were speculated to have this condition were Van Gogh, Tennyson, Proust, Socrates, St. Paul and St. Teresa of Avila.

The central question in the novel centers around having an operation to remove a small meningioma behind her right ear which would stop the progression of the disorder....but take away the high spirtual ectasies that she feels God blessed her with.

I won't give away her ultimate decision, because some of you may wish to read it ...it's a very fast read., but rich with faith and hope

11 people found this helpful

Helpful

batko

A book on faith written by an athiest-and he nails it!

Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2023

Verified Purchase

I bought this copy for a friend. I love this book. I think it is one of the best novels about a life of faith and it was written by a man who does not believe in God! His description of life in a cloistered monastery is spot on.He neither mystifies nor romanticizes contemplative life.

2 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Casey Roo

I know no-one - faith or none - who hasn't been moved and changed by this slight and precious book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 9, 2019

Verified Purchase

I'm on my fifth copy, having had the others 'borrowed.' Ir's one of the most breathtakingly beautiful accounts I've ever read. Whatever your views on religion, do please buy it - it's so very nourishing, so interesting, so clear; not a word wasted, every word takes you forward, makes you care about these women.

Other reviewers tell the story: a Carmelite nun, enclosed for more than 25 years, begins to have astonishing visions in a life that has become arid. But the visions may be due to a brain tumour inducing temporal lobe epilepsy, so what is she to do? She is riven by doubt about the truth of her visions, and about her duty to the community to which she is bound by vow. This book relates the unfolding story.

I wish there were more synonyms for 'beautiful,' because I could use some. The language is sparse, every word placed like a jewel in a mosaic; some of the similes - eg describing an illustrative brain as like a mad scientist's attempt to explain patriotism - will stay forever. Then there's the love the sisters have for one another, and the sense they have of their god and how they have it speak to their conscience ... I know no-one, religious or atheist, who hasn't been moved and changed by this slight and precious book.

3 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Great thought provoking read.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 14, 2015

Verified Purchase

A glimpse into an unknown world and I really felt for the main character having to choose between getting better and possibly leaving her life as she knew it. I really enjoyed the relationships between the nuns and the strength they gave each other. It also made me think about the impact unseen illness has on the patient and their loved ones. I was sad to leave them at the end of the book and would recommend to others.

One person found this helpful

Elaine Simpson-long

Crisis of Faith

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 4, 2006

Verified Purchase

Sister John is a member of an enclosed order. She has visions. These have come to her after years of struggling with her vocation within this order and she feels she has finally found God. She is taken ill and has to go to hospital for tests and is found to suffer a form of epilepsy, the symptoms of which are heightened awareness and visions. So, she finds that her closeness to God was a physical, not a spiritual, manifestation and finds her faith once more is tested to the limit. Having the minor surgery which will cure her of her illness also takes away these visions, these moments of spiritual awareness and she has to find a way back.

Sometimes reading can be an uncomfortable experience and certain books are not easy, with prose which is difficult to grasp. Presumably it is meant to do so. Lying Awake is the polar opposite. Without wishing to sound too fanciful, I found when reading this book that a sense of peacefulness settled upon me, I wanted to be left alone and not be disturbed and reading this at 7 am in the morning meant that I had that blessing. It is a quiet book.

It is also short, under 200 pages, but every page counts. It would not have gained anything by being longer, it is perfect as it is. I read it straight through in one sitting and I would recommend anybody who reads this to do the same, not that I can imaging that anyone starting this book could bear to put it down.

Please read.

13 people found this helpful

R.Saunders

A truly inspirational novel!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 14, 2019

Verified Purchase

I was captivated by this novel and the portrayal of a nuns journey toward deeper faith. beautifully written with a light touch

Anna Pyzel

Three Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 24, 2015

Verified Purchase

It's ok.

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