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The Refuge: My Journey to the Safe House for Battered Women Paperback – April 24, 2014

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 502 ratings

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Until 1971, female victims of domestic violence were expected to 'kiss and make up' with their husbands, hide their black eyes and bruises, and bear the shame that somehow their partners' brutality was their fault. Chiswick Women's Aid was Europe's first ever refuge for what were then called 'battered women', and Jenny Smith was one of the first females who bravely made their way to this much-needed safe house. Desperate, and in fear for her life and the welfare of her two small children, Jenny had fled her dangerously schizophrenic partner, carrying only a few possessions. In the Chiswick shelter, founded by famous women's rights campaigner Erin Pizzey, Jenny found other women in the same position, all with harrowing, extraordinary stories to tell. Amenities were basic, but the respect, kindness and humanity of the community would help to give Jenny a new lease of life and strength. When the safe house came under threat of closure, she lobbied parliament and drove across Europe in a convoy of women in camper vans to raise awareness of their plight. Jenny's story is a slice of social history that begins in a Derbyshire mining village in the 1950s and takes the reader to inner city of Hackney in the 1960s, and Jenny's heart-breaking journey to the refuge. The house was the subject of a famous documentary, Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, which, when first broadcast in 1974, sent shockwaves through the UK. Jenny was one of the first women to break a taboo by speaking publicly about domestic abuse. With the new start afforded her by the refuge, Jenny went on to find love, have another child and work as a foster carer.
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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster UK; Paperback Original edition (April 24, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1471129489
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1471129483
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.12 x 0.79 x 7.8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 502 ratings

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Jenny Smith
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4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
502 global ratings

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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars A truly inspiring tale.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Jenny Smith born in 1946 was brought up in Derbyshire and the Prologue describes the warm, happy memories she has of her early childhood, the Roast dinners, homemade cakes, loving parents and lots of children in the neighbourhood to get into mischief with. Sadly her mother is diagnosed with schizophrenia and this has a huge impact on Jenny's emotional well-being as she struggles to make sense of her mothers rages and hallucinations. At the age of 13 Jenny runs away to London where she ends up getting involved in prostitution in order to survive. After a year on the streets she is reunited with her family only to be sentenced to a year in an Approved school.

Jenny's book covers so many sad topics, mental illness, runaways, prostitution, homelessness, Mixed race marriage, poverty and domestic violence. After getting into an abusive relationship Jenny manages to escape with her two daughters to a refuge for battered women in Chiswick, run by Erin Pizzey. The strength of these women is incredible and Erin has made a promise to never turn a battered away. The book describes Jenny's time at the refuge and beyond. The book mentioned two documentaries that were filmed in the refuge, "Scream quietly or the neighbours will here" and "Sanctuary" which was filmed in 1991 for Channel 4. The former was filmed with the same title as Erin Pizzey's book written a couple of years prior to the documentary. I would love to see this book available on Kindle and I'm also now in search online of any clips of the Sanctuary documentary. Erin Pizzey sounds an amazing woman with the strength to fight for what she believed in no matter what the personal cost.

Jenny's style of writing makes this a very easy read despite the harrowing subject matter. She is excellent at creating imagery of what it was like to live in Hackney, London in the late 60's early 70's and the racism that many new immigrants from the West Indies faced from the locals and the police. There are brighter moment where she describes the atmosphere at the Shabeens, the Caribbean food that she comes to love and the smells and sounds of the local markets. As well as living in the same district as the notorious Kray twins.

Later in life Jenny becomes a foster carer something which she is well equipped for with her past experiences. An excellent read, tragic yet inspiring in equal measure.
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Mskittenheels
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring and Pioneering
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 19, 2014
I am not sure of the etiquette for these type of reviews but I really enjoyed this book in the sense of how well written it was how much it kept the reader engaged etc. It certainly wasn’t a tale of woe is me.

Jenny is an inspiration to women who may still now be trapped in a relentless horrifying domestic abuse situation. I won’t give any spoilers in case you haven’t read the book but to say she was a pioneer will not be an understatement.

The only thing I wanted to question was (I appreciate this was in the early 1970's) but was violence acceptable in those days? I mean if a person in the street had hit another person would they have been arrested for assault etc.? If it was a crime to hit people in those days then I can’t understand why the police were reluctant to prosecute? Jenny said she visited hospital on occasions surely they knew what had happened to her why wasn’t it logged as a crime?

I am so glad that life has become less barbaric, and I am glad that Jenny has managed to continue her life as a great mother and become a foster carer.
Christine Preece
4.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 8, 2014
This book was very interesting, it detailed a girl's life at home growing up and what she went through when she left home and how she had to survive. shocking details of the suffering she endured with her abusive husband and the struggles getting a refuge open for many women who suffered abuse from their partners, at a time when women were expected to do as their husbands told them too and treated as property. just awful how women were treated at that time. Very very good book, very very strong women. glad I bought it. this book would be good to read for someone who has (as I had) suffered abuse to give them strength and hope to fight on.
Mr. M. K. Egan
5.0 out of 5 stars "You have so much to give, Jenny"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 15, 2015
Several years ago I read an old book from the library on Crisis Intervention Strategies and the authors mentioned a book called 'Scream quietly or the neighbours will hear' by Erin Pizzey who founded the first women's refuge in 1971. I was immediately interested as I was born in 1986 so I have lived through a time where refuges for Domestic Violence have always existed.

Unfortunately most of Erin Pizzey books can only be bought second hand as they are no longer in print but I managed to track down a second hand copy of 'Scream Quietly or the neighbours will hear' on Amazon and I went on to buy 'Prone to violence' by Erin Pizzey (again second hand) and I last bought 'This Way to the Revolution: A Memoir' an autobiography by Erin Pizzey which thankfully is still in print! Amazon suggested I buy 'The Refuge' by Jenny Smith when I purchased 'This Way to the Revolution', which I duly did.

The first half of the book is essentially an autobiography detailing the author's life with the second half focusing on her time in the refuge and beyond. Jenny comes from a Northern working class background, the daughter of a miner, and she describes how living with her mother's Schizophrenia drove her to run away from home at an early age to London.

For someone of my age, it gives you a fascinating insight into what life was like before the pioneering work done by Erin Pizzey and others. Victims of Domestic Violence or battered wives as they were then known would often be classed by Local Authorities as "intentionally homeless" for escaping abusive partners and they often received little sympathy or help from people they turned to such as doctors and clergymen. There are some appalling accounts in the book of people just turning a complete blind eye to the violence.

If you have already read books by Erin Pizzey, Jenny Smith' book gives you a different perspective as you learn the life events of someone which led them to the Refuge and it details her first hand experiences of it. If you haven't read any books by Erin Pizzey and you enjoy reading 'The Refuge' then I strongly recommend reading them as they are a fascinating historical account of a very important issue which remains with us today.

Finally I would like to thank Jenny for sharing her story as it is an important one. As someone said to her in the book "You have so much to give, Jenny" and this book gives an illuminating account of a very complex problem.
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Judith Haire
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 21, 2014
I bought The Refuge by Jenny Smith after Jenny spoke on the Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2. I read it in two sittings and found it compelling. Jenny takes us on an evocative journey through her life and tells the harrowing story of an abusive relationship which culminates in her escape to a women's refuge. There surrounded by women who support and validate her, she recovers her lost self esteem. Jenny writes eloquently and though her story is distressing and poignant , with episodes of excessive violence, ultimately it is Jenny's endurance and bravery that save her and she is a most inspiring woman who has been brave enough to recount her experience. Her book is essential reading and shows how the human spirit and the will to survive can carry an individual out of the darkest of places. Highly recommended.