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Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships Paperback – July 31, 2007

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,209 ratings

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Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.

Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In
Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.

Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.

Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?

The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Passionately argued … lucid."—Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Daniel Goleman, PH.D. is also the author of the worldwide bestseller Working with Emotional Intelligence and is co-author of Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence, written with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

Dr. Goleman received his Ph.D. from Harvard and reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for twelve years, where he was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. He was awarded the American Psychological Association's Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science His other books include
Destructive Emotions, The Meditative Mind, The Creative Spirit, and Vital Lies, Simple Truths.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 055338449X
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam; Reprint edition (July 31, 2007)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 416 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780553384499
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0553384499
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.13 x 0.9 x 8.23 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,209 ratings

About the author

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Daniel Goleman
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DANIEL GOLEMAN is the author of the international bestsellers Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, and Social Intelligence, and the co-author of the acclaimed business bestseller Primal Leadership. His latest books are What Makes a Leader: Why Emotional Intelligence Matters and The Triple Focus: A New Approach to Education. He was a science reporter for the New York Times, was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, and received the American Psychological Association's Lifetime Achievement Award for his media writing. He lives in Massachusetts.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
1,209 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2008
This is a well thought out, well organized and very insightful work. In my opinion it is heavy reading. I generally can read a book a week. This one took about 50% longer. There are a number of reasons for this. There is very little white space on any page. The subject matter is new and different and unless you have made a deep study of the brain, its various parts and functions, you will often need to refresh your memory about what the various parts do.

Having said that, I would highly recommend the book to anyone who wishes to learn more about why we do what we do. There are some very valuable lessons that have application in everyday life. For example, Goleman talks about how fear in social situations engages the the flight or fight part of the brain, overriding the cognitive part. He gives everyday examples of how this shows up in our daily lives. The teacher randomly calling on students in the classroom can evoke social fear, shutting down the cognitive/learning part of the brain.

Goleman deals with numerous other social situations in life - love, anger, empathy, prejudices, crime and punishment. His insights are sharp and easy to understand. Some are real eye-openers.

The book is long, some 334 pages with 65 pages of notes. This means that the concepts set forth in the book have been well researched and he provides the sources for those who wish to do additional research on a particular point of view.

If you have any interest in why people do what they do, then this is an important book. Just realize that it requires some thought to read and grasp all the concepts put forth in the book.
27 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2021
This book brought a lot of good information and insight into perspective. I study people and the mind so a lot of the information in this book, I knew but could never put a name to it, nor did I know the reason behind a lot of it, but this book did a great job in breaking things down and informing me on the part the brain plays in it all. Very well written and easy to understand if you don’t know a lot about brain function or parts of the brain. Very happy I purchased this book. And if you’re big on learning emotional and social intelligence, this book is a must have for the arsenal.
6 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2016
Goleman is a good writer in the tradition of the British school of psychoanalysis, and he follows its tradition of not giving credit to people who have done decades of research. Readers are frustrated because he has been writing in circles for 20 years to avoid stating the obvious - that low EQ (or whatever he's using as a euphemism for neurosis) is the result of alcoholic, abusive, addicted, or mentally ill parents. He tap danced around that for 100 pages in "Emotional Intelligence," but at least here he finally gives a nod to Attachment Psychology. These ideas have been around for 100 years, but the Freudians made it their mission to assassinate the career of anyone who was not a disciple of Freud's "drive theory" which largely discounted the role of the parents. When the Freudians faced a global rejection of drive theory in the 1960s, they started calling the ideas they rejected "Neo-Freudian" and adopting them as if they had always believed them and their scorched earth Inquisition had never happened. It's like the Mormon church "baptizing" dead Holocaust Jews, except a lot more dishonest. Of course, Goleman is not personally responsible for this, but it would be nice of he acknowledged the previous century of people who risked their lives to advance these basic ideas, or if he would point out that psychology lost about 50 years of progress.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2012
In this companion volume to his bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, Goleman persuasively argues for a new social model of intelligence. He expresses concern at our creeping disconnection from one another as we connect instead to iPod, computer, and television. Another example of that disconnection is how medicine is being taken over by the "accountant's mentality," which is a disservice to patient and doctor alike. "We are wired to connect," Goleman says. "Neuroscience has discovered that our brain's very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain-and so the body-of everyone we interact with, just as they do us."

Drawing on numerous studies, Goleman examines how our brains are wired for altruism, compassion, concern and rapport. The skills of social intelligence include the social awareness of empathy, listening, and social cognition. He demonstrates how the power of social interaction influences mood and brain chemistry and discusses the "toxicity" of insult and unpleasant social experience and the positive effects of neurochemicals that are released in loving relationships and caregiving.

He shows how social sensitivity and wisdom can profoundly reshape conflicts. In one encounter in Iraq, a quick-witted U.S. commander turned a Muslim mob's threats into laughter when he ordered his soldiers to kneel, lower rifles and smile - averting a potentially fatal clash. Given our socially reactive brains, we must "be wise," he says, and be aware of the ways that our moods influence the biology of each life we touch.
7 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Ranieri
5.0 out of 5 stars You must read this book!
Reviewed in Brazil on October 9, 2022
If you read “Emotional Intelligence” you must read “Social Intelligence”. Those two books make you understand why you behave the way you do and what you can do to change your behavior. If you read this book, you have a great chance to change yourself and the way you interact with people around you for the better!
VINOD KUMAR PATHAK
5.0 out of 5 stars Nice book
Reviewed in India on November 13, 2023
One should read this book to understand the concept of social intelligence.
Rafael RIcardo Islas Mora
5.0 out of 5 stars Recomendado !
Reviewed in Mexico on May 8, 2021
Lo recomiendo para quienes se dedican a ventas o quieren mejorar su paradigma de las relaciones sociales.
Cristina García
5.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro
Reviewed in Spain on April 8, 2022
Muy buen libro. Muy interesante. Si eres profe es súper útil. Yo lo usé como fuente para mi TFM y genial.
Carol Shetler
5.0 out of 5 stars Social Intelligence really will help you understand and communicate better with other people
Reviewed in Canada on August 28, 2017
Social intelligence is the next step after you as an individual develop emotional intelligence. It really helps in your development of social intelligence if you have more than one or two people to interact with in your personal life and at your job. This was hard for me because I am quite introverted. I am making a conscious effort to join more "group" activities and hobbies. Now I manage a volunteer book club, and in my professional life, I am learning how to ask my book editing clients to pay me for the long hours I devote to making their books beautifully readable. Most of them are saying, "OK, great job, I will pay you!" Find some things you like to do and people you like to do them with. The more you practice the ideas shown in this book in your life outside work, the better you will become at interacting and working with others on the job. Don't be a hermit, at least not as a permanent lifestyle choice. Someday you will need another person's help; practice by being a helper to others first. Social Intelligence can be a life-changer for you.
One person found this helpful
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