Confessions of a Sociopath is both an extraordinary memoir and a contribution to many fields (psychology, sociology, ethics and law to name a few). It may also transpire to be a landmark text for years to come. For one thing, it is surely rare for a sociopath to seek out the appropriateness of that diagnosis in their own case. It is even rarer for that diagnosis, once confirmed, to be not only personally embraced but publicly advertised (that the author was at time of writing a high-functioning law professor with ostensibly a lot to lose from this disclosure further underlines the point). Autobiographical odyssey and academic research are melded in an always engaging and accessible style. The latter is itself unsettling in light of the subject matter, and provides the icing (in Australia we don’t say `frosting’!) on a very substantial cake.
Thomas blithely validates the widespread perception that `[s]ociopaths don’t include elements of guilt or moral responsibility in their mental stories, only self-interest and self-preservation’ (pp.15-16). She does not, she says, `assign moral values to [her] choices, just cost-benefit’ (p.16). The impacts of this mode of operating can be devastating for others, and many casualties are revealed as she conveys the disturbing details. Avowed relish in `ruining’ people (to which topic a chapter is devoted) relates the `fine art’ this involves. We are not only told but have clearly spelt out the extent to which `[m]anipulation was [her] default mode of relating with people’ (p.152) and the picture she paints is in no way pretty. That `delight’ can be derived not only from the downfall of others but from the knowledge of responsibility for bringing it about is chilling in ways which are consistently reinforced throughout the text. Weirdly and ironically, this is that rare book which is simultaneously both highly readable and extremely hard to read.
To the extent that the author was propelled to clarify her own psychological status, however, there are also indications that it is sometimes hard to be herself. This is notwithstanding high intelligence, a kind of charisma (how else is the sociopath trusted so readily?) and the outward trappings of success (another unsettling assertion is that `there are a lot of careers for which the skill set of a sociopath is particularly well-tailored’; p.178). Thomas confirms a genetic component to her condition but `nature and nurture’ can intersect in surprising and often confounding ways. As a therapist (but in any case) I was interested in the detail she provided of her early years and influences. Which rocked my world. Her first reference to her family of origin is to dispel assumptions that she is `bad because [she] was treated badly or raised badly’ (a misconception, she says, that is `somewhat disappointing to people…When people ask me whether I had a bad childhood, I tell them that it was relatively unremarkable’ (p.43).
But emphasis should be on the word `relatively’ rather than `unremarkable’ (when neither word is revealed to be accurate). In the very next chapter she self-describes as the middle child of `a violent and shaming father and an indifferent, sometimes hysterical mother’ (p.64). The related occasions of indifference are as disturbing as those of violence; being left in a park as a child with her brother is palpably painful even to read (`The moment when you stop running after your parents’ car is the moment that you lose hope’; p.62). Thomas speaks of recurring dreams of loathing for her father in which she would be `killing him with [her] bare hands’ (p.67).
Yet towards the end of her extraordinary memoir (and `[w]ith the benefit of adult hindsight’) she pays tribute to her parents’ `remarkable’ ability to `strike a proper balance’ for her; contending that while she has `hated them sometimes’, she has also `loved them the way one loves the sky or the ocean or home’ (p.286). If the latter line emerges as deeply anomalous in light of the content and character of the disorienting tale she tells, it also evokes pathos in attesting to the drive to attachment which compels children to their care-givers (even, and sometimes especially, when the nature of the affective bond between them has been suboptimal - to use psychology speak - to say the least).
Perhaps most disorienting of all, however, is Thomas’s claim – which in this case has the ring of authenticity – that while sociopaths are indeed disturbingly different from the `norm’, there are senses in which the norm and the `variant’ also overlap - `Recently I have been thinking that the real problem is not in getting `normal’ people to believe that we’re better than they think, but in getting them to see that the `normal’ ones are actually worse than they believe themselves to be’ (p.294). Should Confessions of a Sociopath be recommended – even required – reading for Psychology 101? My vote is yes.
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So interesting to be inside the mind of a sociopath
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Ordered new book, was sent very obviously used book in poor condition
As stated in title. This was an obviously used book with pages that had writing, staining, and folds in the top corners. It looked like someone had literally taken a box cutter to the cover.
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Kirste Roche
Excellent book, fascinating material presented well
Reviewed in Canada on January 2, 2024
