Buy new:
$27.98
FREE delivery Sunday, May 19 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35
Ships from: Amazon
Sold by: AULE
$27.98
Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns
FREE delivery Sunday, May 19 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35
Or fastest delivery Wednesday, May 15. Order within 21 hrs 54 mins
Only 1 left in stock - order soon.
$$27.98 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details
Price
Subtotal
$$27.98
Subtotal
Initial payment breakdown
Shipping cost, delivery date, and order total (including tax) shown at checkout.
Ships from
Amazon
Ships from
Amazon
Sold by
Sold by
Returns
30-day easy returns
30-day easy returns
This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.
Returns
30-day easy returns
This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.
Payment
Secure transaction
Your transaction is secure
We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more
Payment
Secure transaction
We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more
$9.45
Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns
NO WRITING AND NO HIGHLIGHTS IN BOOK. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Ships direct from Amazon. NO WRITING AND NO HIGHLIGHTS IN BOOK. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Ships direct from Amazon. See less
FREE delivery Monday, May 20 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35
Only 1 left in stock - order soon.
$$27.98 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details
Price
Subtotal
$$27.98
Subtotal
Initial payment breakdown
Shipping cost, delivery date, and order total (including tax) shown at checkout.
Access codes and supplements are not guaranteed with used items.
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

Rules for Visiting: A Novel Hardcover – May 14, 2019

4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 2,904 ratings

{"desktop_buybox_group_1":[{"displayPrice":"$27.98","priceAmount":27.98,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"27","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"98","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"QoG%2FAIVZYUm667GCtm%2BpmbWoFjwzXw3u3ZxDTeqpMd6A9TIJSQB5qz5siFX2HxhzrPadRZcEScG8fctJXchCWzFxC2MSUcljiC92BCv3NB4SyzIhTpwFzGSYOah%2FrL99oKa3uhxadVAD0jT9zro7KoFAISqQfq0AWFBduyZaDDtssTgqJOIQkeMiLgs4f5SK","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"NEW","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":0}, {"displayPrice":"$9.45","priceAmount":9.45,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"9","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"45","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"QoG%2FAIVZYUm667GCtm%2BpmbWoFjwzXw3u56uWYdBNMkjaDomwDRhKVUtCZagec%2B7uqnNivtoOstOzID12zyx8aS%2FlGc8pqAEKpfYsSAKAHMgwzCnYsS2d8grCpoQB6srTtOd1eGUNaeYCCsOnmS8OycRfpF24EqetWOykC%2BAmqEUWaoeNxId63rUz1lD0t3Jw","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"USED","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":1}]}

Purchase options and add-ons

NATIONAL BESTSELLER!

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY:
O Magazine * Good Housekeeping * Real Simple * Vulture * Chicago Tribune
 
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE SUMMER BY:
“The Today Show” * “Good Morning America” * Wall Street Journal * San Francisco Chronicle * Southern Living
 
An INDIE NEXT LIST Pick

Shortlisted for the 2020 Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize 
Long-listed for the 2020 Tournament of Books

"Fun, hilarious, and extremely touching."—
NPR

A beautifully observed and deeply funny novel of May Attaway, a university gardener who sets out on an odyssey to reconnect with four old friends over the course of a year.


At forty, May Attaway is more at home with plants than people. Over the years, she's turned inward, finding pleasure in language, her work as a gardener, and keeping her neighbors at arm's length while keenly observing them. But when she is unexpectedly granted some leave from her job, May is inspired to reconnect with four once close friends. She knows they will never have a proper reunion, so she goes, one-by-one, to each of them. A student of the classics, May considers her journey a female Odyssey. What might the world have had if, instead of waiting, Penelope had set out on an adventure of her own?

RULES FOR VISITING is a woman's exploration of friendship in the digital age. Deeply alert to the nobility and the ridiculousness of ordinary people, May savors the pleasures along the way—afternoon ice cream with a long-lost friend, surprise postcards from an unexpected crush, and a moving encounter with ancient beauty. Though she gets a taste of viral online fame, May chooses to bypass her friends' perfectly cultivated online lives to instead meet them in their messy analog ones.

Ultimately, May learns that a best friend is someone who knows your story—and she inspires us all to master the art of visiting.
Read more Read less

The Amazon Book Review
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now

Frequently bought together

$27.98
Get it as soon as Sunday, May 19
Only 1 left in stock - order soon.
Sold by AULE and ships from Amazon Fulfillment.
+
$15.37
Get it as soon as Sunday, May 19
In Stock
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Total price:
To see our price, add these items to your cart.
Details
Added to Cart
One of these items ships sooner than the other.
Choose items to buy together.
Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Rules for Visiting

Rules for Visiting

Rules for Visiting

Editorial Reviews

Review

"When 40-year-old gardener May receives a surprise windfall of one month of vacation from the university where she works, she decides to visit four old friends, each one from different periods of her life. Through this initially simple and irresistible starting point, Jessica Francis Kane investigates the most universal mysteries of all."—Isaac Fitzgerald, Today
 
“This beautiful novel tackles loneliness in the digital age and the lost art of visiting. Introvert May Attaway is granted some unexpected time off as a university gardener and is inspired to reconnect with four once-close friends. May chooses to bypass her friends' perfectly cultivated online lives to instead meet them IRL. Gives a whole new meaning to Instagram vs. reality.”
—Good Morning America

"This spirit-warming saga, an antidote to the uncivil, is a novel to be read again and again, whenever one needs a reminder to seize the day…Treat yourself to Jessica Francis Kane's novel 
Rules for Visiting, an elixir in book form about a quest for friendship that could have been written by Jane Austen’s great great-great-granddaughter.”—O Magazine

“Crackles with wit”—
The New York Times
 
“Full of witticisms and broader life lessons, 
Rules for Visiting will stay with readers.”—Elizabeth Sile, Real Simple

“Kane’s understated meditation on loneliness in the digital age [is] just the right kind of narrative, an antidote for our distracted days.”—
Hillary Kelly, Vulture

"A witty, sometimes melancholy and altogether lovely meditation on love, loss, friendship—and botany.”—
Wall Street Journal 

"Fun, hilarious, and extremely touching... its coming out right around Mother's Day is no coincidence... I loved May as a character...  she doesn't need me to like her, though. She has her plants, her father, some new or revitalized friendships, and her own sharp and witty mind to keep her company. She is no Grendel — only a deeply alive human."—
Ilana Masad, NPR

“At 40, May Attaway, the protagonist, finds herself alone and feeling profoundly disconnected from her life and from herself. When she receives an unexpected gift of time off, she seizes the opportunity to visit four old friends. May is smart, funny and more than a little prickly. Readers will love her and find her story both moving and reassuring.”Michael Barnard, San Francisco Chronicle 

"Quietly powerful"The Chicago Tribune  

“Impeccably written and surprisingly moving...May’s journey is lovely and deeply affecting.”—
Publisher's Weekly

“Kane’s delightful tale celebrates friendship, family, love, joy in the ordinary, finding peace, and connecting with those around us. Highly recommended for fans of humorous, touching stories about friendship and self-discovery.”—
Library Journal, starred review

“In the age of Facebook, the true nature of friendship can seem muddled . . . [May] voices the doubts and dreams of any woman who has questioned what it means to be a true friend. Rich in subtexts and lush imagery, Kane’s novel is a sure bet for lively book discussions.”
Booklist, starred review

"Engagingly cleareyed prose about a winningly eccentric heroine in love with trees and literature."—
Kirkus Reviews

“Jessica Francis Kane's precise and moving
Rules For Visiting is an altogether new sort of friendship novel, one about friendships stretched to their limits over time and space, the sort of friendships so many of us count as our closest. Kane's gift for describing beauty and loneliness, the real stuff of life, is unparalleled.”—Emma Straub, author of Modern Lovers
 
“An engaging and compassionate portrait of how a root-bound, constricted life can begin to bloom. Drawing inspiration from mythic sources, Kane explores the power of friendship and of our connection to the natural world. Her descriptions of plants are transporting.”—
Madeline Miller, author of Circe
 
“There’s a wonderful richness here in every sentence—a lyric and ambling directness that immediately feels like visiting with an old friend, and applied to an ordinariness that soon becomes sublime with topics that go anywhere and then always back to the cure this narrator is in search of: a remedy for her hesitation with life, that feels like a much larger disappointment, almost global. The novel, you soon realize, is perhaps the remedy she searches for, and you almost wish you could give it to her. But take this home with you, as this, this is for us.”—
Alexander Chee, author of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel
 
“Jessica Francis Kane’s novel will win your heart: Single, melancholy, resourceful, May Attaway, the 40 year old protagonist of
Rules for Visiting, sets out on travels to rekindle her oldest friendships, and thereby to find herself. Wry, witty, ultimately uplifting, this gem of a novel celebrates the gifts in our ordinary lives.”—Claire Messud, author of The Burning Girl
 
 “In one motion
Rules for Visiting can break your heart and lift your spirits up to the sky. Funny, warm, thoughtful, there's a little Olive Kitteridge in this gem of a novel. I did not want this book to end. It is the perfect gift for friends or people you just have to visit (everyone I know is getting this!)”—Julie Klam, author of The Stars in Our Eyes: The Famous, the Infamous, and Why We Care Way Too Much About Them 
 
“An elegant and deeply moving meditation on friendship, family, and life on earth.
Rules for Visiting is a wonderful novel.”—Emily St. John Mandel, author of Station Eleven
 
"Jessica Francis Kane has written a vivid, elegant and masterfully constructed novel about friendship and neighbors and our own personal odysseys. This is a deeply smart book, one I had difficulty putting down. There is real wisdom in these pages.”—
Stuart Nadler, author of The Inseparables

About the Author

Jessica Francis Kane is the author of This Close, The Report, and Bending Heaven. This Close was longlisted for The Story Prize and the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Prize, and The Report was a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Selection and a finalist for the Flaherty-Dunnan First Novel Prize from the Center for Fiction. Her stories and essays have appeared in a number of publications, including Virginia Quarterly Review, McSweeney's, The Missouri Review, The Yale Review, A Public Space, and Granta.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Press; First Edition (May 14, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0525559221
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0525559221
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.9 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 2,904 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Jessica Francis Kane
Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read author blogs and more

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5
2,904 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2023
I chose to describe Rules for Visiting as a gentle book as I think of the main character May as a gentle soul. When I started the book, I wasn't sure that I would enjoy it, yet soon I was captivated. Approaching 40, May has the opportunity to visit 4 friends she has not seen in quite sometime. Each visit provides insights into their friendship and what frienship and family mean to May. It is a lovely and thoughtful book, an easy read yet May and the characters have stayed with me.
4 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2024
It is a sad book, but funny at times. I don’t’ think I will ever have friends as good as the ones she had. Taking trips are important, though. Some things left out - a picture of the oak tree at the end. The Oaks in Savannah and coastal South Carolina are beautiful!
Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2024
This book was a slow read for me. There are some interesting lines in it and I liked the way it reflects on relationships. It’s easy to walk away from, though. I didn’t find it compelling.
One person found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2019
​What is friendship in the age of social media? Let the delightful in her own way May in Jessica Frances Kane’s novel RULES FOR VISITING show you how she decides to go about securing her long-time friendships to ensure that she doesn’t get further stuck in the rut she believes she is in. Living in her childhood home with her somewhat housebound widowed father, May has been rewarded by the university where she works with paid time off. She decides to use this somewhat of a sabbatical by embarking on a series of trips to see her best friends whom she only keeps up with of late via Facebook.

What happens upon each visit, with two childhood friends, a college friend, and another from graduate school, turns into a frolic for us as readers. It is pure amusement. Yes, May does some serious reflecting. And, we want that. But she is so funny that you cannot help but fall in love with her and her quirkiness. Her rules for visiting are no-nonsense. She has it down to a science. And, it’s no surprise, after all, she is a master at her job tending to the university’s vast garden so why shouldn’t she be able to tend to her friends just as well. Just as you wouldn’t want to over water or pay too much attention to one flower over another, the same rules apply.

Clever, amusing, sweet, and kind. Follow May as she disrupts the stillness of the digital world by entering the physical one with her own oomph. All the while comparing epic works of literature to her own journey. I didn’t want this book to end. Except I couldn’t wait for May to come back home.
78 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2022
Not a lot of action but loved the contemplative feeling and all the gardening stuff! May’s story unfolds like the petals of a flower as she visits 4 old friends.
7 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024
A delightful surprise. Bought this book 4 years ago and just happened upon it when begrudgingly transferring my books from my 14 year old DX to an iPad. Maybe Amazon was trying to apologize for discontinuing the DX by reminding me of old purchases. Anyway, I really got caught up with May and relished quite a few thoughts she provoked. Learned and felt a lot. Thank you, Ms. Kane, the author.
Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2023
Two interesting subjects that make for a good read. The author or someone she researched made the point that people make most of their meaningful friendships in their 20s and 60s. And that gardening is all about hope. I liked both sentiments and enjoyed reading this book, although thought it quite different than I expected.
2 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on August 19, 2023
First of all, sorry, not sorry, for the pun. It’s very true though. I definitely had moments when I felt bogged down in the minutiae and thought things were getting depressing, but I held on and was happy with the full circle of the story. I began to enjoy all the botanical elements and learned new things. This is a book that at times I felt I would appreciate more reading rather than listening to, but the narration was very good. The narrator disappeared into the story, which I think is the best. I wanted to give this more than 4 stars so I rounded up. Great literary and botanical references so if you don’t like books you won’t like this , but then why would you even care about this review.😉
5 people found this helpful
Report

Top reviews from other countries

Subhadra
4.0 out of 5 stars A good read
Reviewed in India on November 14, 2020
I liked the way the author weaves her love for plants with friendships - new and old. Her observations are incisive and thought-provoking. May's journey is relatable and at the same time, unique. The book reminds us to take a closer look at our friendships and whether they need more sunshine, , or simply, a little bit of our time.
Daniel Stephens
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in Germany on March 1, 2020
Great book
bookyfemale
5.0 out of 5 stars A joy to read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 22, 2020
This book is a joy to read, as welcoming as a warm hug, as unpretentious as its charming narrator. You can get a plot summary anywhere if you are looking for that, but if you just want an opinion, here is mine: I was thoroughly engaged from page one, and I really loved this book.
3 people found this helpful
Report
Cassandra B
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful, exceptional, wonderful book
Reviewed in Australia on October 5, 2023
There are no words for how much I loved this book. I grew to love the main character, May and I loved her quest to understand friendship. The characters in the book are beautiful and I loved May’s love for trees and learnt so much from it. This is a book I will be gifting to my “fortnight friends” as it brought me a lot of joy and happiness. Thank you to the author for creating this book - I didn’t want it to end and I know I will reread it many times in the future.
R H TAYLOR
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyed
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 23, 2020
Great read