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The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life Hardcover – June 1, 2023

by Vanessa Patrick (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 37 ratings
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"If you're tired of agreeing to annoying asks and thankless tasks, read this book. The Power of Saying No offers the smartest advice I've ever encountered for declining requests without risking your reputation or your relationships. This essential guide will sharpen your mind and steel your spine to live life on your own terms." ―Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret, Drive, and To Sell Is Human

Stop saying yes. Start saying no. Change your life!

You have probably said "yes" to bosses, partners, family, friends, and even strangers, when you actually want to say "no." Maybe you wish you could say no more often, but you're not sure how or if it's even possible to do so. You're not alone! We're taught to say yes as often as we can. After all, if you say no, aren't you likely to miss out on opportunities and sever important relationships? Isn't saying no a harmony-buster?

In The Power of Saying No, award-winning professor and researcher Vanessa Patrick delves into the new science of saying no. She introduces the ground-breaking concept of "empowered refusal"―a proven framework for saying no that puts you in charge of your life―and reveals some surprising secrets about the power of the word no.

Dr. Patrick shares:

  • Why empowered refusal is a valuable superskill that helps us say no in a way that does not invite pushback from others.
  • The toolkit of three competencies you need to develop to effectively communicate an empowered no response.
  • A framework to help separate the "good-for-me" from the "not-good-for-me" activities and engagements that come our way.
  • How to establish and implement personal policies that empower your refusal.
  • How to use empowered refusal to manage difficult askers, strengthen your relationships and realize your full potential.

It's more important than ever to protect your time, focus on your top priorities, and use the power of saying no to reach your goals at work and at home. Empowered refusal is a unique, positive, and meaning-filled approach to managing your energy and ambition effectively, allowing you to make lasting, positive changes in your life.

This empowering book is a fascinating read that will help you with conflict resolution, boundaries, communication, and difficult conversations!

"The Power of Saying No will stay within arm's reach for me. It offers the explanations and the inspirations I need to take charge of my life and career, with concrete tools to make it happen. I was able to put Vanessa Patrick's lessons to work the day I started reading the book and have continued every day since. Read this book. Twice." ―Dolly Chugh, author of The Person You Mean to Be and A More Just Future, Jacob B. Melnick Term Professor at the NYU Stern School of Business

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  1. Print length
    336 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Sourcebooks
  4. Publication date
    June 1, 2023
  5. Dimensions
    6.25 x 1.09 x 9.25 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1728251524
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1728251523
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"The Power of Saying No is a life-changing book. You can set boundaries without damaging your relationships, and Vanessa Patrick shows you how to do it." ― Jonah Berger, bestselling author of Contagious and The Catalyst

"The Power of Saying No will stay within arm’s reach for me. It offers the explanations and the inspirations I need to take charge of my life and career, with concrete tools to make it happen. I was able to put Vanessa Patrick's lessons to work the day I started reading the book and have continued every day since. Read this book. Twice." ― Dolly Chugh, author of The Person You Mean to Be and A More Just Future, Jacob B. Melnick Term Professor at the NYU Stern School of Business

"Saying no is a superpower, and it can be yours when you read Vanessa Patrick’s paradigm-shifting book. If you want to learn how to say no so you can say yes to your life, pick up this book and read it." ― Whitney Johnson, Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author of Smart Growth

"Saying ‘no’ can be empowering, but you should say ‘yes’ to this book! Vanessa shares wise, practical tips for setting boundaries and living life with conviction, so you can spend more time on what matters and spend less time on what doesn’t." ― Laura Vanderkam, author of Tranquility by Tuesday and 168 Hours

"If you’re tired of agreeing to annoying asks and thankless tasks, read this book. THE POWER OF SAYING NO offers the smartest advice I’ve ever encountered for declining requests without risking your reputation or your relationships. This essential guide will sharpen your mind and steel your spine to live life on your own terms." ― Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret, Drive, and To Sell Is Human

"This persuasive book will set readers on the path to self-awareness and empowerment." ― Booklist



"Upbeat… Readers will appreciate her practical strategies and encouraging tone… This is motivating." ― Publishers Weekly



"The Power of Saying No is an absolute game changer. Dr. Patrick illuminates the reasons saying no is so darn hard, provides a framework for deciding when to say yes vs no, and most importantly, teaches readers how to say an empowered no they can feel confident about and that won’t invite pushback. I highly recommend this book for anyone who struggles to say no―so basically everyone!" ― Jill Stoddard, PhD, author of Imposter No More and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast

About the Author

Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a professor of marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India.

Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post, and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Patrick lives with her family in Houston, Texas.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Sourcebooks (June 1, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1728251524
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1728251523
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.9 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1.09 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 37 ratings

About the author

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Vanessa Patrick

Vanessa Patrick

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Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Patrick lives with her family in Houston, Texas.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
37 global ratings
Well-written, great ideas and research-based insights!
5 Stars
Well-written, great ideas and research-based insights!
This book offers excellent research-based evidence, motivation, and ideas to align my commitments with my priorities. I'm over three-quarters of the way through and find myself marking many phrases and passages - I'm sure I'll be reading 'The Power of Saying No' multiple times!
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Top reviews from the United States

Zeina
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent framework for how to say no!
Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2023
Verified Purchase
As a female, I struggle with saying no and never understood the intricacies of what played in my internal framework of why this was so hard. Vanessa’s explanation incorporates gender specific norms, cultural and societal norms, and research findings to really help the reader understand the background of why this skill is challenging. Then she provides framework and principles for how to cultivate such a skill. A great read, filled with background information and research to back up how to acquire such a skill.
One person found this helpful
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Rita Shea-Van Fossen
5.0 out of 5 stars Much more than saying no, this book will help you reflect and prioritize you
Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
The Power of Saying No by Vanessa Patrick is a book that teaches the liberating power of using empowered refusal to set boundaries and establish priorities in one’s life.

From the very beginning, the author uses her eloquent writing style and authentic voice to share personal experiences, anecdotes, and well-documented research to provide practical insights to when, why, and how to say no. Dr. Patrick doesn't just discuss the importance of saying no; she also offers invaluable guidance on how to do it effectively. She outlines various strategies for assertiveness, communication techniques, and tips for dealing with the walnut trees that prevent us from saying no and appreciate the marigolds who protect us. This practical approach makes the book a valuable resource for anyone seeking to reclaim control over their time, energy, and overall happiness.

The Power of Saying No is not just a book about saying no; it is a book about personal empowerment and transformation. It will make you reflect on your own priorities and purpose, as well as a guide for professional development on how to assert your needs and boundaries and communicate them effectively. Vanessa Patrick’s compassionate and insightful approach ensures that readers feel supported throughout their journey of self-discovery.

In conclusion, The Power of Saying No is an exceptional guidebook for anyone seeking to break free from the chains of people-pleasing and reclaim their personal power. Vanessa Patrick’s wisdom, warmth, and practical advice make this book an indispensable resource. I highly recommend it to anyone who wishes to create a life that puts you in charge.
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Feil
4.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful. Research backed way of thinking.
Reviewed in the United States on August 20, 2023
Verified Purchase
Enjoyed the read. Read during my sabbatical as I evaluate what I need to say yes or no to as I return. Only thing that would have helped I think are more worksheets and examples on how to come to your own. This is a process of discovering of course but that would help.
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Stephen Holt
5.0 out of 5 stars Useful Book with great advice and techniques
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2023
Verified Purchase
The book provides a summary of research into why saying "no" is so hard, and techniques that are successful.it also highlights the gender inequities related to standing up for oneself. A great read!
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HH
5.0 out of 5 stars Accessible, enjoyable, and just plain useful
Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2023
Verified Purchase
Vanessa Patrick is one of the world’s leading scholars of consumer psychology in general and self-control in specific. That wealth of knowledge is reflected here, and it is presented in a clear and accessible manner, making for an easy and uplifting read. If you ever find yourself wanting to decline a request or avoid a task, or if you just want to adopt some good habits, you might pick up some very useful pointers here. There are insights here that are easy to digest and equally easy to implement. In other words, if you like books that are simultaneously useful and enjoyable, then this might be a good choice for you.
3 people found this helpful
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CK WindyCity
5.0 out of 5 stars absolutely loved this book!
Reviewed in the United States on February 15, 2024
Verified Purchase
I bought this book because I am a people pleaser, and have a hard time saying no. This is the book I wish I had read 20 years ago. I will be sending it to all of the young women in my life, including nieces, who will be navigating the business world, and need to learn how to say an empowered no.
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Brandee J. Fernandez
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent book
Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2023
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This is a great book to develop your personal policy and learn when to say yes or no. Highly recommend.
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tanya
5.0 out of 5 stars A Powerful Book From a True Authority on Empowered Refusal
Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2023
Verified Purchase
Dr Patrick has helped me level up on taking charge of my career and life with her brilliant insight on empowered refusal. Her perspective on getting clear on your values then aligning your life (and day to day decisions) with those values has impacted me in a significant way- even altering the trajectory of my career.

I just received the book and am 2 chapters in… I can’t wait to finish it!
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Neha Singh
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for those struggling with saying no
Reviewed in India on February 28, 2024
Verified Purchase
A must have book if you are a considerate soft spoken soul who thinks twice before letting anyone down. A down side of us high performing ambitious people who also care for people is that we can't disappoint people. We feel like a failure when someone asked something of us and we didn't deliver. Simply because you can doesn't mean you should.

So how do you say no without beating yourself up and without messing up your relationship with the other person! Read this book to know why and how you should draw boundaries. Absolute practical steps with no fluff.
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