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Girl Decoded: A Scientist's Quest to Reclaim Our Humanity by Bringing Emotional Intelligence to Technology Paperback – April 20, 2021

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 271 ratings

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In a captivating memoir, an Egyptian American visionary and scientist provides an intimate view of her personal transformation as she follows her calling—to humanize our technology and how we connect with one another.

LONGLISTED FOR THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD • “A vivid coming-of-age story and a call to each of us to be more mindful and compassionate when we interact online.”—Arianna Huffington

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY PARADE

Rana el Kaliouby is a rarity in both the tech world and her native Middle East: a Muslim woman in charge in a field that is still overwhelmingly white and male. Growing up in Egypt and Kuwait, el Kaliouby was raised by a strict father who valued tradition—yet also had high expectations for his daughters—and a mother who was one of the first female computer programmers in the Middle East. Even before el Kaliouby broke ground as a scientist, she broke the rules of what it meant to be an obedient daughter and, later, an obedient wife to pursue her own daring dream.

After earning her PhD at Cambridge, el Kaliouby, now the divorced mother of two, moved to America to pursue her mission to humanize technology before it dehumanizes us. The majority of our communication is conveyed through nonverbal cues: facial expressions, tone of voice, body language. But that communication is lost when we interact with others through our smartphones and devices. The result is an emotion-blind digital universe that impairs the very intelligence and capabilities—including empathy—that distinguish human beings from our machines.

To combat our fundamental loss of emotional intelligence online, she cofounded Affectiva, the pioneer in the new field of Emotion AI, allowing our technology to understand humans the way we understand one another.
Girl Decoded chronicles el Kaliouby’s journey from being a “nice Egyptian girl” to becoming a woman, carving her own path as she revolutionizes technology. But decoding herself—learning to express and act on her own emotions—would prove to be the biggest challenge of all.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Rana el Kaliouby’s journey to overcome self-doubt and embrace her ambition will resonate with women everywhere. Girl Decoded is the kind of honest and inspiring story that will encourage other women to share their experiences and own their power.”—Tory Burch, founder and executive chairman of Tory Burch LLC

“Both a candid memoir and a confession, [Dr.] el Kaliouby’s intriguing book lays bare the emotional complexities of ‘a nice Egyptian girl’ while displaying the steely strength, perseverance and naked willpower that has propelled her to imagine a different type of future for both herself and humankind. As the girl decodes herself, she opens up new hope to address the emotional blindness and ‘empathy crisis’ that affects us all.”
—The Wall Street Journal

Girl Decoded is a rousing reminder that women can and should be able to succeed without sacrificing any part of their wholeness.”—Esquire

Girl Decoded is an affecting memoir that highlights the tension between one woman’s upbringing and her aspirations. Such life stories, told well, have the power to uplift us all.”—Science

“As an entrepreneur and computer scientist, Rana el Kaliouby has done pioneering work to infuse technology with emotion and leverage technology to enrich our understanding of emotions. In this forthright, engaging memoir, she takes us behind the scenes of her work and through the key events that have shaped her life and worldview.”
—Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take

“El Kaliouby’s dream was to enable computers to engage human emotions, but she needed to engage her own emotions to invent machines with emotions. Her remarkable life story is a captivating way to understand this new technological frontier: machines with emotional intelligence.”
—Kevin Kelly, futurist, founding editor of Wired, and author of The Inevitable 

“Brilliant and inspiring—words that describe both Rana el Kaliouby and her extraordinary new book, which tells the story of her life and of the crucial role she played in the invention of artificial emotional intelligence . . . a poignant and deeply personal tale about love, loss, and coming of age on a new scientific frontier.”
—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of Stumbling on Happiness

“It is critical that we embrace a future in which technology enhances our most human qualities, specifically empathy, caring, and emotional intelligence.”
—Peter Diamandis, founder and chairman of the XPRIZE Foundation and coauthor of The Future Is Faster Than You Think

“Emotional intelligence in AI is every bit as critical for machines as it is for humans. No one has done more to create that capability than Rana el Kaliouby. This book tells the remarkable story of her pioneering journey, breaking barriers all along the way. A must-read!”
—Erik Brynjolfsson, professor at MIT Sloan School of Management and coauthor of The Second Machine Age and Machine, Platform, Crowd

About the Author

Rana el Kaliouby is a pioneer in artificial emotional intelligence (Emotion AI), as well as the cofounder and CEO of Affectiva, the acclaimed AI startup spun off from the MIT Media Lab. She grew up in Kuwait and in Cairo, Egypt, among a family of technologists and educators. After earning an undergraduate and a master’s degree in computer science at the American University in Cairo, she attended Cambridge University, where she earned her PhD. Afterward, she joined the MIT Media Lab as a research scientist, where she spearheaded the applications of emotion recognition technology in a variety of fields, including mental health and autism research. She left MIT to cofound Affectiva, the company credited with defining the field of Emotion AI. Affectiva’s technology is used by more than a quarter of the companies in the Fortune Global 500. An acclaimed TED speaker, el Kaliouby was named by Forbes to their list of America’s Top 50 Women in Tech, and Fortune included her in their list of 40 Under 40. In 2018 she was the cohost of a PBS Nova series on AI.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown Currency (April 20, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1984824783
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1984824783
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.16 x 0.8 x 7.2 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 271 ratings

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Rana el Kaliouby
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A pioneer in Emotion AI, Rana el Kaliouby, Ph.D., is Co-Founder and CEO of Affectiva, and author of the book Girl Decoded: A Scientist’s Quest to Reclaim Our Humanity by Bringing Emotional Intelligence to Technology. A passionate advocate for humanizing technology, ethics in AI and diversity, Rana has been recognized on Fortune’s 40 Under 40 list and as one of Forbes' Top 50 Women in Tech. Rana is a World Economic Forum Young Global Leader, a newly minted Young Presidents' Organization member, and co-hosted a PBS NOVA series on AI. She holds a Ph.D. from the University of Cambridge and a Post Doctorate from MIT.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
271 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book inspiring and insightful. They describe it as a wonderful, entertaining read that keeps them hooked until the end. The story is described as incredible, amazing, and well-written. Readers appreciate the emotional intelligence and personal journey of the author. They value her candid portrayal of her life, strong morals, and genuine character development. Customers also praise the resilience, optimism, and thoughtfulness of the author.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

29 customers mention "Inspirational read"29 positive0 negative

Customers find the book inspiring and insightful. They say it gives them confidence to pursue their dreams and impacting every aspect of life. The story is a coming-of-age tale of an inspiring woman and groundbreaking technology. Readers enjoy learning about the author's research and growth into a CEO.

"...was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational. I get a feeling that a second part to this book is called for!..." Read more

"...I finished reading it in one day because I was so captivated by her inspiring and genuine story...." Read more

"...It was wonderful to learn about your research but also to see your growth into the CEO you are today...." Read more

"...Her memoir is an inspiring must read, especially for women and young women. Her story is interesting, honest, vulnerable, authentic and respectful...." Read more

23 customers mention "Readability"23 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and well-written. They say it's a must-read for girls and women, as well as entrepreneurs.

"I really enjoyed reading Rana's book. Rare are the books that resonate with me on both a personal & professional level such as this one...." Read more

"This is a must read! Entertaining, moving, awe inspiring, a page turner and fascinating look at the future of emotional intelligent technology...." Read more

"...It flows well and is well worth the read." Read more

"I truly enjoyed reading Girl Decoded. Rana has been honest and open in her book and I was really impressed by her achievements and successes...." Read more

19 customers mention "Story quality"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the story inspiring and engaging. They describe it as an amazing account of the author's journey so far, breaking through glass ceilings. The storytelling is beautiful and heartfelt. Readers appreciate the relatable and encouraging journey.

"...and story telling style was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational...." Read more

"...it in one day because I was so captivated by her inspiring and genuine story...." Read more

"...Her story is interesting, honest, vulnerable, authentic and respectful. You’ll fall in love with her vision and quest!" Read more

"...As a woman reader, Rana’s journey feels relatable, encouraging, and ultimately achievable. A truly inspiring read." Read more

18 customers mention "Emotion level"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and heartfelt. They appreciate the author's emotional intelligence and ability to predict. The story is described as deeply personal and an unfolding of her whole life. Readers appreciate the thoughtful reflections on important life decisions. The narration and storytelling style are praised.

"The narration and story telling style was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational...." Read more

"...understand how Rana's life's purpose is around the value & importance of human emotions...." Read more

"...moving, awe inspiring, a page turner and fascinating look at the future of emotional intelligent technology...." Read more

"...She narrates with her inner voice, so that we are privy to all aspects of her life: yes, her intellectual curiosity, vision and determination - but..." Read more

11 customers mention "Character development"11 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the candid portrayal of Rana's life. They find her honest and inspiring, with strong morals and ethics. Readers admire her as a driven woman who overcomes challenges professionally and personally. The book is described as a true account of a young and driven woman's journey to success.

"...Her memoir is an inspiring must read, especially for women and young women. Her story is interesting, honest, vulnerable, authentic and respectful...." Read more

"I was truly riveted and captivated by Rana's personal and professional journey...." Read more

"...But the journey as she tells it is deeply personal and an unfolding of her whole self...." Read more

"...Rana is a strong, inspiring, and successful woman and I admire her...." Read more

4 customers mention "Resilience"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's resilience, optimism, and thoughtfulness. They find it honest, authentic, and respectful, with a sprinkle of vulnerability, humor, and wit throughout.

"...Her story is interesting, honest, vulnerable, authentic and respectful. You’ll fall in love with her vision and quest!" Read more

"...Rana is a strong, inspiring, and successful woman and I admire her...." Read more

"...her professional story w/ personal struggles and growth, sprinkling vulnerability, humor and wit throughout..." Read more

"...Girl Decoded demonstrates the intelligence, drive, resilience, optimism, and thoughtfulness that make her an incredible tech leader and human in the..." Read more

A story that transcends cultures, continents & technology
5 out of 5 stars
A story that transcends cultures, continents & technology
The narration and story telling style was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational. I get a feeling that a second part to this book is called for! I was very intrigued by the many cultural nuances clearly explained in the book. It gave a view into Egyptian culture and how it contrasts with Western culture. My favorite part of the book was when Rana was alone in Cambridge with her little girl finishing up your PhD. And I also loved the "Alexa we need to talk" chapter; it resonated well with the Alexa experience we all have. I would love to hear a podcast from the author about how she managed to you split time between Cambridge (both of them) and Cairo for her PhD and Post Doc and made it work - there is a lesson in it for all of us and large corporations who are still trying to figure out remote work when it comes to different time zones. I think Rana should write more and inspire more :)
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2021
    The narration and story telling style was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational. I get a feeling that a second part to this book is called for! I was very intrigued by the many cultural nuances clearly explained in the book. It gave a view into Egyptian culture and how it contrasts with Western culture. My favorite part of the book was when Rana was alone in Cambridge with her little girl finishing up your PhD. And I also loved the "Alexa we need to talk" chapter; it resonated well with the Alexa experience we all have. I would love to hear a podcast from the author about how she managed to you split time between Cambridge (both of them) and Cairo for her PhD and Post Doc and made it work - there is a lesson in it for all of us and large corporations who are still trying to figure out remote work when it comes to different time zones. I think Rana should write more and inspire more :)
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars A story that transcends cultures, continents & technology
    Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2021
    The narration and story telling style was awesome and off course the story itself was interesting and inspirational. I get a feeling that a second part to this book is called for! I was very intrigued by the many cultural nuances clearly explained in the book. It gave a view into Egyptian culture and how it contrasts with Western culture. My favorite part of the book was when Rana was alone in Cambridge with her little girl finishing up your PhD. And I also loved the "Alexa we need to talk" chapter; it resonated well with the Alexa experience we all have. I would love to hear a podcast from the author about how she managed to you split time between Cambridge (both of them) and Cairo for her PhD and Post Doc and made it work - there is a lesson in it for all of us and large corporations who are still trying to figure out remote work when it comes to different time zones. I think Rana should write more and inspire more :)
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2021
    I really enjoyed reading Rana's book. Rare are the books that resonate with me on both a personal & professional level such as this one. I finished reading it in one day because I was so captivated by her inspiring and genuine story. From my reading, I could understand how Rana's life's purpose is around the value & importance of human emotions. In this book she demonstrates how much she has evolved in processing her own emotions and how this translated into her incredible professional journey. I love the duality that aligns in her personal & professional journey. I think many people from all walks of life can find something in this book that can resonate with them.
    I am only a user of emotion AI, but her book made me excited about what the future holds in this field & beyond.
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2020
    Thanks for taking time to write this book and being brave to share your story. Your perseverance and determination throughout your career and for your family is inspiring. It was wonderful to learn about your research but also to see your growth into the CEO you are today. Best of luck moving forward and please continue to share your story!
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2020
    This is a must read! Entertaining, moving, awe inspiring, a page turner and fascinating look at the future of emotional intelligent technology. The best part is hearing how this female entrepreneur, mother and CEO bravely brought her 20 year vision to life, navigating countries, cultures and glass ceilings. Rana’s story represents the best of humanity and how that can translate to building a better future for us all through AI. More than that she’s a leader whose value driven approach is changing the game. Her memoir is an inspiring must read, especially for women and young women. Her story is interesting, honest, vulnerable, authentic and respectful. You’ll fall in love with her vision and quest!
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2023
    I learned so much from this book, in terms of Egyptian culture, technology and fundraising for large ventures. It flows well and is well worth the read.
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2020
    I was truly riveted and captivated by Rana's personal and professional journey. As a woman co-founder I can personally relate to the obstacles and challenges that she endured to see her dream come to fruition. I connected with her on so many fronts - especially motherhood. I am not a computer science person but you do not need to be to relate to this fascinating field of emotional AI. There is so much humanity in this technology that I truly hope it is always used to further benevolence and connection in our device-driven society. Rana's ability to share her deepest emotions with the reader really brings you into her life. Her vulnerability in telling her story allows the reader to connect with her experiences and you find yourself rooting for her the whole way. The sacrifices she makes to follow her vision and dream were inspiring to me. I found myself researching emotional AI after each read, the positive impact emotive AI can have on our world seems limitless. I hope to be hearing about Affectiva and its impact on the world for a long time.
    9 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2020
    I heard about Rana while reading her interview in Architects of Intelligence. I was concerned about some of the things she said in the interview but at the same time intrigued so I read the book. After the reading the book I think she is very talented but may be a little on the sociopath spectrum. Also she seemed to be quite manipulative in justifying her behavior. For instance, she had a husband that she loved and he loved her. She moved away and totally neglected their family life for years for the sake of her business. Then in the end she threw her husband under the bus saying she couldn't be a submissive wife any longer. Nothing from the book indicated he ever wanted a submissive wife. The other big thing I thought was quite manipulative was justifying using the emotion detecting software for advertising by saying it will be only used on people who give their consent. Seriously?! Relying on terms and conditions to justify the correctness of behavior?! Let's not forget that 7500 people sold their souls to GameStation in 2010 by signing terms and conditions. Rana, like everyone else knows this is a flawed system making consumers extremely vulnerable. There is only a small step to go from predicting peoples emotions to controlling peoples emotions. Which is exactly why a company would want to use the software for advertising. If showing one things leads to emotions that indicate customers are not likely to buy a product show them the things that will exhibit the emotions that indicate they are most likely to buy the product. This is manipulation! This is control! Does the product get better from this technology? No, that's too hard when you can just change the advertising instead. I think her company will be extremely successful but I don't think it will create much good in the world. They will advertise about its use in autism and other positive things but the profits will be in manipulation through advertising. I hope they change course and do something that is really good for humanity, and stop pushing this "only if they give consent" business.
    10 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational!
    Reviewed in Canada on May 7, 2021
    When this book arrived at my doorstep, I couldn’t hold my excitement. And I wasn’t disappointed. In her book “Girl decoded” Dr.Rana el Kaliouby unveils her journey as a scientist on a quest to teach machines human emotions. It’s fascinating to learn how Emotion AI emerged and developed and what are the current and future applications. For any curious mind who loves to learn how things work and is into tech, this book is for you. Dr. Rana offered not only a view to her work, but to her personal story. A story of tremendous growth written with absolute honesty requires a great deal of courage. Thank you for sharing it with the world! This book is a rare gem.
    Customer image
    Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational!
    Reviewed in Canada on May 7, 2021
    When this book arrived at my doorstep, I couldn’t hold my excitement. And I wasn’t disappointed. In her book “Girl decoded” Dr.Rana el Kaliouby unveils her journey as a scientist on a quest to teach machines human emotions. It’s fascinating to learn how Emotion AI emerged and developed and what are the current and future applications. For any curious mind who loves to learn how things work and is into tech, this book is for you. Dr. Rana offered not only a view to her work, but to her personal story. A story of tremendous growth written with absolute honesty requires a great deal of courage. Thank you for sharing it with the world! This book is a rare gem.
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  • Mr. D. Foreman
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Biography and a Glimpse of the future
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 6, 2023
    I enjoyed reading about Rana's story and the development of Affectiva.

    I am familiar with the business and this book charts the detail, the obstacles, the excitement, the journey from conception to where it is today - an emerging powerhouse for Emotion AI.

    Great read, Rana, thanks for the honesty and the wisdom shared.
  • Paulomi
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for women who are passionate about their jobs and don't just work for money!
    Reviewed in India on May 17, 2021
    It's 3 AM and I just finished this book. Very inspiring. I told my kids who are 8 and 6 about how the technology will change in the next decade and they can't wait. While the immense passion about work shows in the book, what also sets it apart is the culture and gender element the author brings in. I recall one line which said that when she went back to Cairo, no one really asked her about her work. I totally understand that. While women are "alllowed" to work in most of the places, the importance placed on their work is less than them raising a family and playing various roles. Things will change and everyone will fight their own battle which will bring a collective change. Very well written!
    Customer image
    Paulomi
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for women who are passionate about their jobs and don't just work for money!
    Reviewed in India on May 17, 2021
    It's 3 AM and I just finished this book. Very inspiring. I told my kids who are 8 and 6 about how the technology will change in the next decade and they can't wait. While the immense passion about work shows in the book, what also sets it apart is the culture and gender element the author brings in. I recall one line which said that when she went back to Cairo, no one really asked her about her work. I totally understand that. While women are "alllowed" to work in most of the places, the importance placed on their work is less than them raising a family and playing various roles. Things will change and everyone will fight their own battle which will bring a collective change. Very well written!
    Images in this review
    Customer image
    Customer image
  • Evelyn Pineda
    5.0 out of 5 stars A most for every woman!
    Reviewed in Mexico on May 7, 2020
    I highly recommended for EVERY WOMAN who has great ideas in mind and is too self-confident thinking that you are not capable.
    The book is a great story that breaks dogmas of all kinds: mental, even religious, and believing in our ability and creativity as women to connect technology with emotions.
    Thanks Rana, I am happy that a woman is leading Emotional Artificial Intelligence with the values and ethics that you have done in Affectiva. I am widely inspired!
  • sama m.
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all the women out there who don't dare to think big
    Reviewed in Germany on May 14, 2020
    I finished the book in 2 days and since then I am living with Rana's dream. The book has opened my eyes to the world that is about to appear in front of us. it is vital for all of us, especially women, to take the lead and prevent biased technologies to spread faster than a pandemic. Rana's book is a story of a natural leader who didnt give up in uncertainty who didnt break when her world fell apart who stood strong for her values. The book is also a smooth introduction to AI technology for those who want to gain an insight. Highly recommended.