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Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother Hardcover – April 18, 2023

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 48 ratings
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A historian explores the complicated relationship between womanhood and motherhood in this “timely, refreshingly open-hearted study of the choices women make and the cards they’re dealt” (Ada Calhoun, author of Why We Can’t Sleep).

In an era of falling births, it’s often said that millennials invented the idea of not having kids. But history is full of women without children: some who chose childless lives, others who wanted children but never had them, and still others—the vast majority, then and now—who fell somewhere in between. Modern women considering how and if children fit into their lives are products of their political, ecological, and cultural moment. But history also tells them that they are not alone. 
  
Drawing on deep research and her own experience as a woman without children, historian Peggy O’Donnell Heffington shows that many of the reasons women are not having children today are ones they share with women in the past: a lack of support, their jobs or finances, environmental concerns, infertility, and the desire to live different kinds of lives. Understanding this history—how normal it has always been to not have children, and how hard society has worked to make it seem abnormal—is key, she writes, to rebuilding kinship between mothers and non-mothers, and to building a better world for us all. 

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  1. Print length
    256 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Seal Press
  4. Publication date
    April 18, 2023
  5. Dimensions
    6.3 x 1.15 x 10.4 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1541675576
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1541675575
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

Without Children

Without Children

Without Children

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Without Children is a feat of diligent research and, better yet, blazing argument . . . Each chapter of Without Children is vivid and informative enough to fascinate in its own right.”
 ―Becca Rothfeld, Washington Post

“Impeccably researched” ―San Francisco Chronicle

“[a] well-researched and compellingly readable history… Without Children will interest readers engaged with intersectional feminist thought and women’s rights in a wide variety of contexts.”―Booklist

“Provocative and well researched… A liberatingly perceptive work of sociology and cultural history.”―Kirkus

"Historian Heffington’s incisive debut examines how society demonizes women without children while increasingly failing to provide the supports that make it possible to raise kids sustainably...A cogent and well-supported polemic.” ―Publishers Weekly

“Regardless of our parenting status, Without Children will make each of us more empathetic towards the decisions others make, and hopefully more supportive of and invested in our communities as well.”
 ―Gabbi Cisneros, Porchlight Books

"Desire, doubt, destiny—there are many reasons for the shape of a family. With clarity and compassion, historian Peggy O’Donnell Heffington offers a timely, refreshingly open-hearted study of the choices women make and the cards they're dealt."―Ada Calhoun, author of Why We Can't Sleep

“At once bracing and beautiful, Without Children is a timely meditation on all of the reasons why women increasingly can't, don't, or won't have children—along with the social penalties they pay, the freedoms they garner, and the feminist solidarity that we can all build together, whether we have children or not. I was intrigued and carried along for the book's length by O'Donnell Heffington's lyricism, thoughtfulness, humor, and panache.”―Kate Manne, author of Entitled

"I devoured this book. Peggy O’Donnell Heffington is the rare serious historian who writes with verve and humor, bringing to life the big, hard questions of history that illuminate the present. Without Children is a story of women who decided not to have children, but ultimately shows us new things not only about these women, but about family, motherhood, childhood, aspiration, and love in a precarious world. It is a signal contribution to the historical field and a vivid series of stories that are alternately shocking, funny, and inspiring."―Kathleen Belew, author of Bring the War Home

“A woman with children is a mother.  A woman without children has no name. Without Children, written with warmth and insight and layered with deeply personal stories, tells us this woman in fact has many names, faces, and identities—all worth knowing.”―Lara Bazelon, author of Ambitious Like a Mother

“Without Children is the rich, nuanced history of women without children that has been missing from the discourse. Peggy O'Donnell Heffington skillfully avoids the trap of pitting women without children against mothers, while showing how the choice of whether or not to be a mother has historically been dictated by—you guessed it!—the patriarchy. A necessary book, whatever your parental status is.”―Doree Shafrir, author of Thanks for Waiting

About the Author

Peggy O’Donnell Heffington is an instructional professor of history at the University of Chicago and teaches subjects ranging from feminism to human rights. Her writing can be found in Jezebel,the Los Angeles Review of Books, the Boston Globe, and elsewhere. She received her PhD in history from the University of California, Berkeley. 

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Seal Press (April 18, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1541675576
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1541675575
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.3 x 1.15 x 10.4 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 48 ratings

About the author

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Peggy O'Donnell Heffington

Peggy O'Donnell Heffington

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Peggy O'Donnell Heffington teaches history at the University of Chicago. Her writing can be found in the New York Times, Washington Post, TIME, Los Angeles Review of Books, the Boston Globe, and elsewhere. She received her PhD in history from the University of California, Berkeley and lives outside of Chicago.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
48 global ratings
Simply a must-read.
5 Stars
Simply a must-read.
It never before occurred to me how “traditional” women— the idealistic measuring stick I’ve felt held against on tippy-toes for as long as I can remember— made strategic decisions for the same reasons as women today. This book led me to feel deeply connected to all the intelligent, thoughtful, and courageous women who came before me— both mothers and those who chose not to be. In a time when our rights to bodily autonomy are being stripped away, making intentional effort to understand and relate our predecessors is critical. Peggy O’Donnell Heffington’s Without Children is beautifully written, insightful, and wonderfully engaging. Highly recommend!!!
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MR
5.0 out of 5 stars Smart, thought-provoking, funny - a fantastic read
Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2023
Verified Purchase
As a lover of all things women's history, I figured I'd really enjoy this book. As a mom, I wondered if the subject matter would really interest me, or if I were really the target audience. WOW - I am so glad I read it! I especially love that it was written by a historian, and her expertise really came through and drew me in to the fascinating stories of the lives and choices faced by women who came before us. The author's writing style is both eloquent and engaging, and her humor is a breath of fresh air. I walked away from this book with a renewed sense of pride and love for my own very diverse tribe, all of us with our own various definitions of "family," and all of us with our own various significant challenges in life that sometimes define those things for us. Either way, we're not the first generations to face these things, and we won't be the last. O'Donnell Heffington does a superb job of reminding us that these difficult decisions are not new. A must read!
4 people found this helpful
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5.0 out of 5 stars Simply a must-read.
Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2023
Verified Purchase
It never before occurred to me how “traditional” women— the idealistic measuring stick I’ve felt held against on tippy-toes for as long as I can remember— made strategic decisions for the same reasons as women today. This book led me to feel deeply connected to all the intelligent, thoughtful, and courageous women who came before me— both mothers and those who chose not to be. In a time when our rights to bodily autonomy are being stripped away, making intentional effort to understand and relate our predecessors is critical. Peggy O’Donnell Heffington’s Without Children is beautifully written, insightful, and wonderfully engaging. Highly recommend!!!
Customer image
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply a must-read.
Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2023
It never before occurred to me how “traditional” women— the idealistic measuring stick I’ve felt held against on tippy-toes for as long as I can remember— made strategic decisions for the same reasons as women today. This book led me to feel deeply connected to all the intelligent, thoughtful, and courageous women who came before me— both mothers and those who chose not to be. In a time when our rights to bodily autonomy are being stripped away, making intentional effort to understand and relate our predecessors is critical. Peggy O’Donnell Heffington’s Without Children is beautifully written, insightful, and wonderfully engaging. Highly recommend!!!
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17 people found this helpful
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CAROL CUSTER
4.0 out of 5 stars IT'S A CHOICE
Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2023
As a child-free woman myself, I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why I don't have children. I've often wished I could reply with an answer as rude as their question but as much as I'd like to say 'why do you HAVE children?" I usually just murmur something and try to change the subject. I'm usually met with either some form of 'you hate children?' or 'what a pity that I don't'. Neither scenario is true.

This book is well-researched and non-biased. The author presents the facts without trying to convince the reader that one way or the other is preferable. It's a matter of choice. Some women choose not to have children; for some the choice is made for them by someone else or nature. There are women who want children but for one reason or another can't have them and I would hope they would adopt to fulfill their desire but I would never tell them that. It's their choice and non of my business.

It was fascinating to read how to have children or not has been a topic throughout history. The way this book is written makes the topic easy to understand and thought-provoking.
18 people found this helpful
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RM
3.0 out of 5 stars Author cannot escape pronatal biases and the patriarchical values surrounding her
Reviewed in the United States on September 18, 2023
Verified Purchase
I gave this book three stars, perhaps generously, because many interesting historical facts and anecdotes are presented in a readable fashion (despite some confusion between fertility and birthrates, which although related, are not the same). Unfortunately, some of the information left out of the covered material is important and potentially telling as well (for instance, her framing of the European marriage pattern is very misleading). That said, I enjoyed the author's humor, but was disappointed by her inability to see past her own societal conditioning in many of her interpretions of these facts and the predetermined conclusions that drive her narrative but do not reflect the reality of parents or of unchilded women in our current times. Also, she reports that most childless women ended up that way unintentionally, and if they had a better sense of biological time, they might have been blessed with the children they didn't know they wanted so badly when choosing to do other things with their lives. You know how women are.
15 people found this helpful
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tinalouise7
5.0 out of 5 stars Arrived as described.
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
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Book arrived in timely manner and in good shape.
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SL
5.0 out of 5 stars Lovely, readable, and insightful
Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2023
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Through deep research and storytelling, this compelling book connects women to previous generations, and highlights the stressors and life pressures that all women have faced. A fascinating and delightful read! It highlights in particular the long history of women without children and more recent societies' efforts to make them seem abnormal.
4 people found this helpful
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GLC
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing perspective, funny and smart
Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2023
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As a mom I really liked this book, which gives the history of all the ways we've built our ideas of nurturing--really a good read, and I found it both deep and fun to read
4 people found this helpful
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KylieF
2.0 out of 5 stars Not for the child free
Reviewed in the United States on December 25, 2023
This book is about how women without children in the past contributed to the communal raising of children, which has historically and is currently extremely difficult. I would like a book about women without children who do their own thing, like books about men without children. I would like women to be valued whether or not the have children. Less about the history of women without children and more about how hard it is to raise a child and therefore we need childless women to help. The anecdotes she gives are like “child free until 41 when she raised her niece” or “child free but started an orphanage.” Pronatalism is so ingrained that if you don’t have kids (as a woman) you MUST use your maternal nature to care for them. What else are we good for?
7 people found this helpful
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