I was given an advance review copy of this book and I could not put it down. All throughout, I found myself nodding in agreement as it brought me back to lessons I had learned the hard way during my time as a junior officer in the Coast Guard, staffer on Capitol Hill, a law student, a lawyer, and a management consultant. This book hits on so many important and hard-to-intuit rules in such a short space that I cannot think of a more effective way to prepare young adults who are entering the workforce for the first time.
I found three elements of The Unspoken Rules very compelling. First, the rules themselves – there have been multiple times in my career where I have looked back at some selection process or tough experience and wished that someone had explained the expectations upfront. Like the author, I didn’t know that people spent their summers studying for the SATs, or their first year of law school trying to get a clerkship that would not start for another three years, or their evenings practicing what they were going to say in the next day’s team meeting. I eventually figured these things out, but a book like this could have saved me a lot of grief (and helped friends and colleagues who never did figure it out¬).
Second, I like the checklist approach to applying the rules. Have a meeting with your boss tomorrow? Here’s what you do… The paths the author highlights seem so simple once they are illuminated, and that illumination has the potential to save readers from wasting their time wandering aimlessly in the dark in the hopes that they happen to end up in the right place.
Third, the focus on effective communications throughout is something that is so important, but so often neglected in the advice given to people starting out in their careers. The author does a great job in both explaining how others perceive certain types of communication and explaining how to communicate in a way that will convey the proper message and inspire confidence.
In focusing on these three areas and doing so in a way that targets young adults who are just entering the workforce, the author has hit on both a winning combination and a unique angle on how to prepare people for their careers. Whereas most training, books, and formal resources use the coded language of the rules, this book is the first I have read that presents the nitty gritty explanations and advice that most of us only receive when someone takes pity on us and pulls us aside to explain “how things really work around here.”
Anyone about to start their career, or a new chapter in their career, would benefit from reading this book. I will be pushing my organization to gift it to all new hires, and I would recommend it to college students who are starting to think about their search for a summer internship, to military cadets and junior officers headed to their first units, and to anyone hoping to work in any of the professional services (consulting, law, accounting, banking, etc.).
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Great Insight for Grads & Veterans
The remarkable point about The Unspoken Rules is that it’s written not only for those transitioning from school to work, but for seasoned veterans who want to mentor new employees. And for veterans like me, who look back on their career with 20/20 hindsight and a new understanding of past experiences that might have been managed better had I read this book. There’s no time for remorse, only looking forward to a new comprehension of these rules.As I read each chapter, I thought about how these concepts also have the ability to benefit companies on a broader scale by enhancing professionalism and building effective teams. Once we understand how to work together, everyone in the workplace will benefit.You’ll find the book full of practical guidance, like the insightful graphics on pages 48 and 49 that reveal clarifying questions for those in learner mode:* “What did she mean by that term?”* “How does that process work?”* “Should I follow up?” (after attending a meeting)These simple questions build our knowledge base and help us assimilate quicker, with better insight into our working environment. They can also help us be proactive in order to stand out while showing up as a team player.My copy of The Unspoken Rules is underlined and highlighted, with scribbled margin notes so that I can’t lend it to a friend. But I can tell everyone about this beneficial book, and perhaps buy them a copy. I highly recommend that you read it and also gift a copy or two. If you’re like me, you’ll consider past experiences, wishing they might have been different. But the next generation will be armed with these important, unspoken rules.
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Top reviews from other countries
Cliente Kindle
Genious book not only for people starting their careers
Reviewed in Brazil on September 28, 2022IWB
Required reading for your new (and old) employees.
Reviewed in Canada on April 27, 2021
IWB
Reviewed in Canada on April 27, 2021
As an entrepreneur, I’ve managed dozens of direct reports (mostly millennials). Training them well is the single, highest-leverage activity I can engage in. The problem? Never enough time.
Can a book replace personalized coaching?
No.
But, besides Covey’s 7 Habits, this one comes closer than any I’ve come across. I received an advanced copy and found that it addresses the things I wish my new hires knew with more clarity and detail than any of its peers:
•How to show up prepared and stay ahead of incoming work.
•How to decide if something is urgent and/or important, and how to see the big picture of the team’s objectives.
•What makes a good and bad question, plus how and when to ask good questions.
•How to communicate in a clear, concise way in written and verbal exchanges.
I’m not usually drawn to books with the word ’secrets’ in the subtitle, however, this one stands out for a few reasons:
•Specificity: Skim most career advice books and you’ll find yourself knee-deep in vague generalities like ’be prepared’, and ‘communicate with confidence’. This book not only defines things in granular detail, but also identifies the spectrum—what does ’too much enthusiasm’ for your role actually look like? Also notable was the use of actual interviews conducted with subjects in the book.
•Action-oriented format: I’ve been sold on checklists ever since reading Atul Gawande’s Manifesto, so I was happy to see a number of them in this book. There are also several ‘fill in the blanks’ sections to help the newbies understand where they fit into the bigger organizational picture. This was unique and useful.
•Fairness: The author isn’t out to complain about millennials, nor coddle them, as he notes “Curiosity and entitlement are not the same thing… demanding something or being overly disappointed if the answer is ’no’ can be dangerous for your compatibility." Ng avoids the ‘preachy’ or ‘activist’ tone that some authors in the genre adopt.
In sum, the book is everything you wanted to teach your team, but either ran out of time for, or did too lousy a job of explaining.
I’ll be gifting it to future hires.
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Peter
Practical, structured, thoughtful guide - highly recommended
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 11, 2023